


Carrying Their Wills

by ArabellaTurner



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Additional relationships might be added later, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, F/M, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Just assume that any trigger warnings the movie has this has too, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Suicidal Thoughts, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2020-11-15 01:11:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 48,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20857760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArabellaTurner/pseuds/ArabellaTurner
Summary: After centuries of fighting with It, it would be crazy for a dying Maturin to spend the rest of his energy reviving him. But how can he refuse the dying wishes of two of the seven greatest heroes he has ever met?Entrusted with Maturin’s own dying wish, Richie must now rally the losers to defeat It once more, but this time without losing any of those most important to him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My time is nearly up. If I were a sensible being, I would simply fade away now that my job is done. But I cannot ignore the pleas of a dying hero. Not when I have the power to answer them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back at it again with the fix it fics. This time I’m going to try to save even more people!

Richie bit back a sob as he pushed the door to Eddie’s hotel room open. He had been given a key to the room after explaining to the inn’s owner that Eddie wouldn’t be coming back. 

It had been a long and painful conversation, but Richie had no intention of leaving Eddie’s belongings behind in Derry. Not after he had already left his-

Richie choked back another sob. It wouldn’t do anyone any good to have him break down while packing up Eddie’s belongings. Then he would just get tears and snot on them and Eddie would hate it because they would get all dirty. Just like the clothes Eddie was wearing when he-

Richie shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. He had to stop doing this. He couldn’t keep dwelling on Eddie like this. He had a life to return to. Sure, it was a sad and empty one, but he couldn’t keep avoiding his manager’s calls and missed shows forever. At some point he would need to return to the real world.

Richie knew he had to leave Derry. There was nothing left for him there. Even with depression clouding his senses, he could feel the change in the air. The evil that had once clung to the town was gone and the magic was fading. Soon enough Derry would just be another small town, same as any other in America.

Taking a deep breath, Richie slowly forced his way over to Eddie’s suitcases. He couldn’t help but smile a little at how much stuff Eddie had packed. It really was just like him to be prepared for absolutely everything. Well, not everything...

Richie really needed to stop doing that. Somehow every thought seemed to lead him back to Eddie’s death. The event played over and over again in his mind, haunting him, tormenting him.

It had gotten worse ever since Richie opened Eddie’s door. He hadn’t been okay before, but he had been semi-functioning. Now he couldn’t go more than a few moments without the memories washing over him once more. He guessed that seeing Eddie’s abandoned belongings really just made it too real.

“Shit,” Richie sobbed as he sank down onto Eddie’s bed. Against his better judgement, he started to unzip one of the suitcases. He just wanted to hold something of Eddie’s. He wanted to hold onto the comforting smell of soap and shaving cream just a little longer.

Only when Richie looked into the suitcase, a pair of beady eyes looked back up at him. “I have been waiting for you,” a deep voice echoed through the room. 

“The fuck?” Richie cried, jumping to his feet. He threw his arms up in what he hoped looked like an intimidating stance, but really just made him look like an idiot. “Who’s there? I swear to god, if that fucking clown is still alive, I’m going to-“

“It is dead,” the voice cut Richie off. “After millennia of feasting, my brother has finally been defeated.” 

“Brother?” Richie squeaked. “You’re his brother? He has a brother?!” A look of horror crossed his face. “Are you here to avenge him?” he demanded, his muscles tensing up in fright.

In response, the voice began to laugh. It was a rich and powerful sound that calmed Richie a little. Surely something evil wouldn’t have such a friendly laugh, right?

“I am not here to avenge my brother. I myself have been trying to defeat him for centuries. However, I found I lacked the traits necessary to do more than hold him off. And as the years went on, my powers began to fade.”

Richie shifted nervously in his stance, his mind a little more at ease, yet still not willing to trust the creature entirely.

“You fear me,” the voice continued. “You think?” Richie snarked. “You have nothing to fear. Come. See what I have been reduced to.” the voice urged him.

Reluctantly, Richie moved back to Eddie’s suitcase. At least if he were to die now, he could maybe grab one of Eddie’s shirts and die just as Eddie had died holding his jacket.

Only there was no horrifying monster sitting inside; there were only clothes and tiny turtle sitting on top of a neatly folded shirt.

“That there’s a mighty powerful voice for a wee little reptile,” Richie said nervously, adopting a western accent in a failed attempt to hide the fear in his voice. The turtle laughed again, once more filling the room with warmth.

“I can see why he liked you so much,” the turtle said, staring up at Richie. “You are a fool to be sure, but you have a good aura to you. I’m certain he was right to put his faith in you.”

Richie stared at the turtle in confusion. “Who?” he asked weakly. He knew he should be more concerned about the fact that a turtle was talking to him than what the turtle was saying, but at this point Richie had seen enough strange shit to know what the important parts were.

“The friend you left in the sewer,” the turtle replied, causing Richie to wince. “In a forsaken place like that, the spirit takes longer to leave the body. Even after he had passed, he still clung onto you. He knew you could do it. They both knew you six could do it, but he believed in you specifically.”

“Both?” Richie asked, even more confused now. “The mighty seven was once made of seven members,” the turtle replied. “The first to die entrusted his will to the remaining six, but the last to die entrusted his will to you specifically. You have been blessed not once, but twice. And you succeeded where I for centuries failed.”

The turtle paused for a moment, as though collecting his thoughts. “I have very little magic left,” he finally continued. “Which is why I need you to make me a promise. If am to do this for you, I need you to promise me that you will defeat It. There will not be a third chance if you were to fail.”

“Wh-“ Richie began before being cut off by the turtle. “I have poured a lifetime’s magic into defeating It, but now I will give all the remains into his revival. You must swear to me that you will succeed once more.”

“I don’t understand,” Richie protested. “What’s going on? Why are you going to revive It? I thought you wanted him dead too!” 

The turtle laughed once more, but this time a tinge of sadness lingered in the sound. “My time is nearly up. If I were a sensible being, I would simply fade away now that my job is done. But I cannot ignore the pleas of a dying hero. Not when I have the power to answer them.”

The turtle paused once more, as if it was still convincing itself this was the right idea. “You have been blessed, Richie Tozier. You carry their wills inside your heart. I might not have the power left to save them, but you do. Do not fail me.”

Richie shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes. He still didn’t understand what the turtle was saying, but he knew that he couldn’t let him down. “I swear won’t,” he promised. “Good,” the turtle replied. “The fate of the world rests in your hands.”

And with that the world pitched into darkness and Richie was suddenly falling. But just as he began to think he had been tossed into an endless void, Richie jerked upwards to the sound of a mechanical beep. 

Looking around, Richie realized that he was in a bed and the noise was coming from his phone. Slapping around until he located the the device, he finally managed to pick it up only to drop it again a few seconds later in shock.

Nervously, Richie picked the device up again once more and stared warily at it. The last time Richie had checked the date, it was September 15th, but right now the flashing numbers on his phone read 10:02am, September 4th, 2016. Somehow, Richie had teleported back in time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Derry Public Library. What can I do for you today?” he asked in a feigned cheerful voice. “Mike?” the voice on the other end replied. “Mike Hanlon? Is that you?” the voice continued.

Richie closed his eyes and opened them again, but the date on his phone didn’t change. Could he really trust the device or was this just a dream? He’d say a dream was more likely, only it seemed almost too mundane to be a dream.

Ever since Eddie’s, you know, Richie’s nights had been a constant sea of nightmares. But Richie felt strangely comfortable right now. His bed was soft and warm and his body lacked the usual aches and pains he had grown accustomed to recently. In all truth, it almost seemed more likely that everything post Mike’s call had been a dream and this was Richie’s true reality.

Richie’s eyes widened at the thought. Now there was an idea too. Only there was no way that everything that had happened in the past few days had just been a dream. It was too real, too painful. The memories weren’t fleeting or fading either. Richie could still recall the sound of Eddie’s voice as he gasped out Richie’s name. He could still taste the metallic flavor of Eddie’s blood as it sprayed into his mouth. He could still feel the cold and stiff form of Eddie’s lifeless body as he clung desperately onto it. There was no way that this was simply a dream.

But if the events in Derry weren’t a dream and his current reality wasn’t a dream, then where did that leave Richie? The turtle he had talked to earlier that day, or later that week, or whenever he had talked to a goddamn fucking talking turtle, had said all these weird cryptic things before Richie was plunged into a void. Was it possible that he was somehow the cause of this?

Richie let out a broken laugh. Was he really contemplating the idea that a talking turtle had sent him back in time? Yet he just couldn’t understand why his mind would conjure up something this bizarre otherwise. 

With a slight groan, Richie slowly stretched his body and climbed out of bed. He made his way into the kitchen and flicked the TV on, switching the channel to the weather forecast.

Just like his phone, the date was supposedly the 4th. He continued to flick through channels to see if there was any discontinuity, yet nothing seemed amiss. If this really was a dream, it truly was the most mundane one he had ever experienced.

Richie rubbed his face and sighed. He quickly checked his calendar and determined that he didn’t have a show that day. In fact, he didn’t have one for the next four days. Richie vaguely remembered spending those four days lounging around his house doing basically nothing last time around. God, his life really was pathetic.

Richie chuckled a little as he looked around his hopelessly empty, yet still strangely messy apartment. The place was far too big for him alone, the kitchen full of nice appliances he never bothered to use. It was far too quiet too. Even with the TV droning on in the background, the world felt far too calm and still.

It wasn’t even the sort of calm you felt before a storm. It was just a sort of emptiness that being alone created. A sort of emptiness that Richie remembered far too well. 

Richie gave his apartment one more good once over before making up his mind. It didn’t really matter what was actually real. The only thing that mattered now was that Richie remembered the other Losers now and had a chance to save them.

He smiled at the thought. Maybe that was what the turtle had wanted. He had defeated It once before, so he could do it again. He made a promise to the turtle that he wouldn’t fail him and there was no way he was going to break that promise.

————

Mike sat listening to the police radio, his entire body on edge. It was right around 27 years since their last encounter with It. If It really wasn’t dead, as Mike feared it was not, its next attack could be any moment now.

Lost in his thoughts, Mike startled back to attention when he heard a loud ringing noise. He turned frantically towards the radio before realizing that the sound was actually coming from the library phone.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Mike quickly answered it. “Derry Public Library. What can I do for you today?” he asked in a feigned cheerful voice. “Mike?” the voice on the other end replied. “Mike Hanlon? Is that you?” the voice continued.

Mike felt his hand shake in fear. “Richie?” he squeaked out. “Richie Tozier? How on earth did you get this number? More importantly, how do you remember me? You should have forgotten. You did forget! You all did! I’m the only one who... who...”

“I’m not falling for your tricks!” Mike suddenly cried. “I’m not afraid of you, you monster!” “Wait!” Richie pleaded, suddenly realizing what Mike assumed was happening. “It’s really me. I mean, I’m really Richie. You can call my cell and I’ll answer. I know you have the number. I just didn’t have yours so I had to look up the library phone number. I swear that I’m not It. Please Mike, you’ve got to believe me!”

From the other end of the line, Mike sighed. “How can I know for sure?” he finally asked. “What reason do I have to trust you? Richie hasn’t remembered me in 27 years, so why now?”

Richie thought for a moment. He wasn’t really sure how to answer. Did he tell Mike everything? Would Mike believe him? Saying that he already knew how to defeat It seemed too convenient to have an already skeptical Mike believe him.

“Look,” he finally said, realizing that there really was no good way to say this. “I know you have absolutely no reason to believe me, but I really need you to. The truth is that I’ve seen what’s going to happen and know exactly how our battle with It will play out. I also know about the casualties that happen along the way. And I can’t let them happen that way again. Please Mike. I can’t do this alone.”

Mike took a deep breath. The voice on the other end of the line seemed so earnest and desperate. This was different than any sort of trick It had played before. It wasn’t malicious or frightening in any way, just sad and lonely.

“So when you say casualties...” Mike began. “Our casualties,” Richie replied solemnly. “St-“ he paused. Did he really want to tell Mike who died? “I don’t know if what I saw was real or not, but I know it felt real and I don’t want it to happen again. Please Mike.”

Mike closed his eyes and thought for a moment. Did it really matter if this was real or not? If this really was a trick from It, then Mike still needed to call everyone back to Derry.

“Okay,” he reluctantly agreed. “Okay. As of right now, I’ll tentatively believe you. I’ll go ahead and start making he calls. Even if you are a monster, we will still defeat you once we are all together. Mark my words.” 

Richie let out a sigh of relief when he heard Mike’s response before stiffening back up as he realized that he wasn’t out of the woods yet. 

“I know you said it was only a tentative belief, but I need you to trust me with one more thing,” Richie admitted causing Mike to let out a hum of disapproval. “What is it that you need?” Mike asked, a hard edge to his voice.

“I need Stan’s address. Instead of calling him, I need to talk to him in person. What he did last time was noble and heroic, but I refuse to believe it’s the only way. Stan is too smart for his own good sometimes and I won’t let it hurt him this time.”

Mike closed his eyes and sighed. Although Richie hadn’t outright said it, Mike understood the implications. “I want to trust you, I really do,” Mike admitted. “Look, why don’t you come to Derry first and meet me in person. If you check out, then I’ll send you to Stan.” 

“But if we wait that long, people will die!” Richie protested. The line grew silent as Mike took Richie’s words in. Eventually he made to speak again, but Richie suddenly cut him off. 

“I have an idea,” he began. “I know when the first attack will be. I’ll tell you what’s going to happen and where. With my info, you should be able to stop it and save the kid before he dies. And once you see that my info is both real and helpful, then you’ll know you can trust me. Then you can give me Stan’s address and I can go see him!”

Mike couldn’t help but laugh at the stupidity of the suggestion. Something like this was so obviously a trap, it was crazy. So obviously one, that Mike actually found himself believing the other man. It had never been one for subtlety or long cons. That was why the kids had grown less afraid of it over time instead of more. If the man claiming to be Richie was really asking Mike to go directly to It all by himself, then maybe he really was telling the truth.

“Fine,” Mike reluctantly agreed. “Tell me everything you know and I’ll go check things out. I’ll get back to you tonight with Stan’s info if I deem you worthy of it.”

Richie felt a small smile spread across his face. He knew that he hadn’t technically done anything useful yet, but he felt like he had moved past the first hurdle. And now maybe that kid who died such a horrible death last time could make it out alive. Then he and his boyfriend could start a life together. As a fellow gay man from Derry who had lost the love of his life to a murderous clown monster, Richie felt it was the least he could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The other losers have started slowly appearing now. I promise that in a few more chapters they will all be there, but there are a few important things Mike and Richie have to take care of before the reunion of the Losers club can officially begin!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “with some reluctance, Mike found himself waiting on the edge of the fair for something to happen. So far things had been quiet, but the night was still young and there was still plenty of time left for things to go wrong.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning - this chapter includes parts of the hate crime against Don and Adrian. Things won’t play out the same as in the book/movie, but there’s still the same malicious intent and some amount of violence. I just wanted you guys to know that explicitly going into this chapter since I know that was a very triggering and brutal moment in the story.

Mike still couldn’t quite believe he was doing this. He nervously patted the bag sitting in the car beside him, wondering if it would actually help. According to Richie, It would be waiting down by the water, so if Mike stayed by the bridge he should be okay.

Mike had to admit that he had hoped Richie would have more details than he actually had. Pretty much all he actually knew was that there would be some sort of hate crime that lead to a young man being tossed over the bridge and killed. 

Mike guessed that made sense if Richie hadn’t actually been there last time, but it was still disconcertingly vague. Once again, Mike contemplated just how stupid this was. He was deliberately putting himself in harm’s way just to verify a claim. Well, that and to save a life.

Mike glanced over at the bag again and sighed. He just couldn’t stand back and do nothing. Adults refusing to help had been a big reason why he and his friends had suffered so much growing up, and Mike refused to perpetuate that cycle.

So with some reluctance, Mike found himself waiting on the edge of the fair for something to happen. So far things had been quiet, but the night was still young and there was still plenty of time left for things to go wrong.

————

Things were going horribly wrong for Adrian Mellon. All he wanted was a nice date with his boyfriend. It was 2016 for Christ’s sake. Wasn’t homophobia supposed to be gone or some shit like that?

Obviously Adrian knew that it wasn’t. Especially not in this backwards town he for some reason considered his home. He just sometimes saw the progress of the world overall and let his guard down a little bit more than he should.

Adrian felt a small sense of satisfaction as Don dragged him away. He knew that running his mouth was not the smartest move, but he had gotten in some pretty good jabs and was feeling mildly better about the whole thing.

Or at least he had been until he suddenly found himself and Don surrounded, just far enough away from the fair that no one would be passing by to help. If anyone even would bother to help in the first place.

Adrian hit the ground with a thud. He could vaguely hear Don calling out his name, but the ringing in his ears and the wheezing of his chest made it hard for him to focus. Desperately, Adrian pulled an aspirator out of his pocket and began to shake it. He knew that he had to get some medicine in his system before his lungs failed him.

Yet before he could bring the life-saving device up to his mouth, he felt it being kicked away. Once more he could hear Don shouting for him, but the voice sounded far away and distorted. Fear gripped Adrian’s heart as he wondered if this could be the end. Was this really how he was going to go out?

Adrian vaguely registered the hand raising up to hit him once more, but the blow never came. Instead he heard a thunk and watched as his one of his attackers staggered backwards and cursed. 

A second later the second one released him as well. Realizing that he was free, Adrian weakly crawled over to his aspirator and managed to get a couple puffs in, instantly feeling a little better. His head was still ringing and his nose hurt like hell, but at least he could breath now.

He turned his attention to Don, but found that his boyfriend had also broken free and was right in the middle of taking his own attacker down with a good punch to the nose.

Seeing that Don seemed safe, Adrian turned back to his attackers only to watch the tall one fall to the ground as a rock bounced off his head, leaving a trail of blood running down his forehead.

“Come on!” Adrain heard a voice shout. For the first time, he turned to look away from Don and his attackers and saw a middle aged black man holding a bag and shouting at him. The man then reached into the bag and threw another rock, hitting the tall attacker before he could finish standing back up.

With a quick glance at Don, the two young men sprinted towards the man and threw themselves in his car. A second later, the man was behind the wheel and hightailing it out of there. From the distance, Adrian could hear shouting and turned to make an obscene gesture out the window before promptly collapsing against Don in exhaustion.

Things had certainly not gone well for him that night, but Adrian had to admit that he was left feeling a little hopeful as the car drove on. He had absolutely no idea where they were going, but would leave it to Don to make sure they made it there safely. For now, Adrian was just happy to see that someone else actually cared enough to help.

————

Although Don was glad that he and Adrian were away from their immediate attackers, he wasn’t completely sure that he trusted the man who had saved them. He wasn’t sure what the guy had been doing there or why he had a bag of rocks. He was grateful for the help, but was still worried about Adrian’s safety. His boyfriend had taken quite the beating and was still bleeding pretty badly.

“Where are you taking us?” he asked, trying his best to sound brave. “The library,” the man replied. “I have first aid supplies there that can help you. Given the nature of your attack, it’s honestly probably better that you don’t go to the hospital.”

“But wouldn’t alerting the proper authorities be better?” Don asked. The man only shook his head. “In a normal town, maybe, but not here. Not in Derry. Have you ever noticed a darkness hanging over this place? Derry isn’t the sort of place where you can turn to the authorities for help.”

“So why are you helping us?” Don asked, his voice filled with suspicion. “Because I know what it’s like to be in your shoes,” the man replied. “Back when I was a kid, some bullies came after me because I was different, but a group of friends saved me by pelting the bullies with rocks. From that day forward those kids became my best friends and I became an official member of the best club to have ever existed.”

The man smiled happily with the memory and Don felt himself relax a little. “So you’ve decided to return the favor years later?” he asked. The man driving the car nodded. “Exactly. I figured it was time to bring in another generation. Welcome to the Loser’s Club, you two. My name is Mike Hanlon. To whom do I own the pleasure of rescuing today?”

Don let out a light chuckle as he relaxed fully back into his seat. “The Losers Club, eh? You know, I think I actually like that. My name’s Don and this is my boyfriend Adrian. Thanks for the invitation. I think we’re both looking forward to joining the team.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Pretty much all of Stan’s childhood was a blurry haze. Sometimes he would catch glimpses of what he thought were memories, but they always left him feeling nauseous and afraid, so he never tried to chase them.
> 
> At this moment, those memories were once again clawing their way through his brain, threatening to break out. Stan stubbornly shook his head, refusing to let his imaginary fears interrupt an otherwise peaceful breakfast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s Stan time! I promise the Reddie will start back up next chapter, but until then, it’s time for Stan to get some love!

The first thing that Mike did when he got back to the library was clean Adrian’s face of the blood then give him some medicine for the pain and some ointment to prevent scarring. He then set about resetting Adrian’s nose. The young man had clearly taken quite a beating, but was looking a lot better now that he had some medical attention.

Mike smiled as he watched Don help Adrian drink from a mug of tea. Mike was pretty sure Adrian didn’t actually need the help, but he seemed content to let his boyfriend take care of him and Don seemed happy to fuss over Adrian.

Technically Mike hadn’t actually validated that Richie was telling the truth. He hadn’t seen It at all during the encounter, so he couldn’t say for certain that the monster was actually there. 

Yet one look at the two boys sitting in his home was enough to convince Mike that Richie had been telling the truth. These guys were Losers through and through and Mike was grateful that he had a chance to save them. So it was with a sense of gratitude and warmth that Mike picked up his phone and began to call Richie. 

————

Stan grinned as he shook the box at Patty. “One thousand pieces. This should be a piece of cake.” Patty chuckled softly and leaned in to kiss her husband. “It’s nice to see you so excited about something, dear. Even if it is an old man passion,” she teased gently.

Stan rolled his eyes at the teasing, but smiled anyways. “I’m an old soul at heart,” he admitted. “Or did the bird watching not already give that away?” 

Patty leaned happily against her husband’s shoulder. “Oh no. I knew. I just find it endearing. I guess I might be a bit of an old soul myself,” Patty admitted. Stan smiled again and pulled his wife into a kiss. “Well, I guess with two such oldies here we might want to head up and get to bed,” he suggested. 

Patty laughed and lightly swatted her husband. “Speak for yourself! I’ll have you know that I have the stamina and body of a fitness model!” Stan’s eyes crinkled in amusement. “You do indeed, my love,” he assured his wife. With an affectionate bout of laughter and one more kiss, the happy couple then made their way upstairs. 

As they ascended the staircase, they remained completely unaware of the man running to catch a flight to Georgia at that exact moment. And when the two turned the lights out to go to sleep, it was without any mind to the young couple curled up together on a strange bed, carefully arranged to not disturb the bandages across the smaller man’s face. 

————

The morning sun shone brightly into Stan’s kitchen as he poured some cereal and prepared the coffee. He would be off to work shortly, ready for another uneventful day at the office. Stan wouldn’t call his life boring, but it was certainly calm and orderly. 

Every morning, Stan had some variation on the same breakfast of cereal and coffee. It was the same thing that he had eaten for as far back as Stan could remember. Although he was pretty sure that he couldn’t remember as far back as most people could.

Pretty much all of Stan’s childhood was a blurry haze. Sometimes he would catch glimpses of what he thought were memories, but they always left him feeling nauseous and afraid, so he never tried to chase them.

At this moment, those memories were once again clawing their way through his brain, threatening to break out. Stan stubbornly shook his head, refusing to let his imaginary fears interrupt an otherwise peaceful breakfast. 

Only as it turned out, that breakfast was interrupted anyways. Stan has barely managed to lift his spoon up to his mouth before the doorbell rang, causing him to spill cereal on himself in fright.

Realizing it was only the door, Stan took a deep breath to compose himself before going to answer it. Calmer now, Stan opened the door, only to be immediately hit with another violent wave of fear. He stumbled backwards in shock, tripping over the umbrella holder by the side of the door.

As Stan stumbled, Richie reached out to catch his friend. “Hey!” he cried out. “It’s okay, man. You’re okay. Just take a deep breath, alright?” Stan simply looked up at him in fear.

“Stan? What’s going on dear? Are you alright?” Patty called out as she made her way to the stairs. She stopped short when she saw the strange man holding her frightened husband. “Who are you and what are you doing here?” she demanded angrily.

Richie let go of Stan to hold his hands up over his head. “I come in peace! I’m an old friend of Stan’s. We were best friends growing up together hack in Derry, Maine. Name’s Richie Tozier.”

Richie extended a hand to a concerned looking Patty who simply eyed him skeptically. “He’s telling the truth,” Stan piped up weakly, before promptly passing out in fright.

—————

When he came to, Stan found himself sitting on the couch, his wife on one side and Richie on the other. He groaned a little as he looked between their concerned faces. “Richie,” he whimpered weakly. “Hey Stan,” Richie replied, biting his lip and looking everywhere but Stan’s eyes.

“What happened?” Stan asked. “You passed out after Richie showed up at the door,” Patty replied at the same time as Richie answered “It’s back.” Stan looked at the other man in shock and horror. 

“How do you know?” he asked, his breathing growing faster. “Mike stayed in Derry all these years. He’s been watching and waiting. It’s first attempted attack happened last night. Mike was able to save the kid this time, but he can’t hold It off all by himself.”

Stan gulped, his breathing and heartbeat growing even more erratic. “But what can we do? We failed last time. Can we really kill it now?” he asked desperately.

“Yes,” Richie replied, surprising Stan with the confidence in his voice. “We can beat It. We’re stronger now. There’s no way that ugly ass clown could even hope to stand a chance against us,” Richie assured him. Hope flashed in Stan’s eyes for a second before worry clouded them once more.

“I can’t do it,” he whimpered. “I’m too afraid. I’ll only get in the way. Rich-” “Stop,” Richie said, cutting Stan off. “I know you’re scared. You have every right to be scared, but you’re not weak. You are the smartest, wisest, and best of all of us. I know that you see the risks better than any of us could, but you also see the answers. We need you Stan. And we won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”

Stan blinked back tears as he looked up at Richie. The other man smiled gently in return. “Us Losers are a team. That means we need each other and will look out for each other.” Stan gulped again then took a few deep breaths, hoping to find the right words to say.

“That’s very sweet, but ultimately it’s Stan’s choice,” Patty spoke up, taking her husband’s hand into her own and squeezing it. Stan and Richie both looked over at her.

“I’ll admit that I’m not following most of what you’ve just said, but I know that you’re asking Stan to do something dangerous. I’m not going to stop him from going, but I’m not going to stand by and let you guilt him into it either. Until today, I’ve never heard your name before. I don’t know who you are to Stan, but if you think that you can just come in here and just... just...”

Patty dissolved into tears as Stan reached out and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry,” Richie apologized. “I know what I’m asking isn’t fair at all. And I’m sorry that I haven’t been around in Stan’s life for such a long time. He was my best friend growing up, but once we moved apart, we fell out of touch and forgot each other. But we made a promise as kids and now we need to make good on it.”

Patty opened her mouth, no doubt to protest the absurdity of honoring a dangerous promise made by children, but Stan stood up before she could say anything. “I need some time to think,” he informed them.

Richie quickly stood up too. “Alone,” Stan explained. “I can’t let you do that Stanley,” Richie admitted. “Why not?” Stan asked, a hard edge forming in his voice. “Because... because... I just can’t okay?” Richie yelled. Tears welled up in his eyes. “Please, Stan. I know you’re scared. I really do. I just can’t lose you again! Not when I’m right here. Not when I can save you.”

Stan sank slowly back down onto the couch as the weight of Richie’s words sank in. “You won’t lose me,” he promised. “How can I be sure?” Richie asked, carefully sitting back down himself. “I promise,” Stan swore. “I’m not going to do anything rash. I really do just need a little time to think things through.”

“Alright,” Richie agreed after a moment of hesitation. “Go ahead. I trust you.” Stan nodded gratefully before making his way upstairs and sinking into his bed. As he laid down against his pillow, the tears began to fall. His whole body shook with fear, yet Stan already knew what his answer was going to be. He just had to work up the courage to actually say it.

From the couch, Patty watched nervously after him, but made no move to follow. Instead she turned towards Richie. “Stan has nightmares sometimes,” she admitted. “Sometimes they get so bad that he wakes up screaming. He never remembers them once he’s awake though.” 

Richie looked down at his lap. “I get them too. I think we all do.” “What exactly are you asking my husband to do?” she asked nervously. “I can’t give you all the details, but there’s something evil that lives in our hometown. It terrorized us as kids and it’s back again now,” Richie explained.

“Why does Stan need to go stop it?” Patty asked. “Why not someone else? Someone who lives there now?” Richie shook his head. “We’re the only ones who can stop it. None of the other adults in Derry realize what’s happening and the kids who do understand aren’t strong enough. We can only do it now because we faced it as kids and lived to tell the tale.”

Patty stared sadly at Richie. “I’m not going to pretend that I understand what you’re saying, but Stan seems to and I know he isn’t crazy. You seem to care about my husband. Do you swear to look out for him?” she asked. “I swear it,” Richie agreed. “There’s no way in hell I’m letting anything happen to Stan. Never again.”

Patty sighed then took Richie’s hand into her own. “Well, ultimately it really is Stan’s decision, but as I said before, I won’t stop him from going. And of course I’m going to worry about him, but I’m going to trust you to protect him. Just bring my husband back to me when it’s all over,” she pleaded. Richie nodded. “I swear it,” he said again.

————

Stan knew that he had to go, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t terrified to do it. His initial reaction had been to simply take himself out of the picture to make sure all the remaining Losers could return and fight. Only Richie seemed to realize what he was thinking. So of course he couldn’t do that now. Not after he had made another promise.

Stan took another deep breath and dried his eyes. He was terrified of what he would face in the next few days, but he was more scared of disappointing the people he cared about. And Patty would be heartbroken if he died.

Slowly and meticulously, Stan began to pack a bag. He figured that he would only be gone for a few days, but it was best to go prepared. That was his job after all, wasn’t it? Stan was the parent of the group and it was his job to protect his children.

————

Thirty painful minutes later, Richie was seated at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee and making awkward small talk with Patty. He could tell that she and Stan really loved each other and he was happy that at least one of the Losers seemed to have found happiness.

Richie jumped a little, nearly spilling his coffee when he heard a noise coming from the stairs. He rushed back into the living room and grinned when he saw Stan descending with a suitcase in hand.

“I’m still terrified,” Stan admitted, “but I’m ready to make good on our promise.” He then let out a soft “oof” as he fell backwards onto the steps above him when Richie launched himself onto Stan in a hug. 

“I’m terrified too,” Richie assured Stan. “But I’m feeling braver now that I have you.” Stan returned the hug, awkwardly patting Richie on the back. 

“You’ve grown up a bit, haven’t you Rich?” he asked. “Maybe a little,” Richie agreed. “But don’t worry,” Richie said with a laugh. “Once we both calm down a bit, I promise the dick jokes will come back. Who would I be without them?” he asked.

Stan laughed too. “Who indeed?” he agreed. He looked over at Patty and smiled. Before he left, he would need to say a proper goodbye to her, but the look on her face told him that she had already accepted his departure and assumed he would be back again soon. 

And hopefully he would be. Richie had sworn that the Losers would look after each other and Stan was just going to have to trust him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike makes some phone calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning - this chapter contains a scene with Beverly’s abusive relationship in it. It’s less intense than in the movie though since things play out a little differently.

Bill sighed and rubbed his temple. “I really need you to do this,” the producer had told him. Why had the guy even agreed to a movie deal if he hated the ending so much? 

Bill didn’t know what he was going to do. Somehow he had to rewrite the entire ending of his story. Didn’t people know how hard that was? Besides, what was wrong with his ending the way it was? 

So it wasn’t the happiest of endings. Sometimes things didn’t end happily! Sometimes people died and there was no way to save them. Sometimes the guilt and nightmares didn’t go away. Life wasn’t always happy and it was stupid for people to always expect happiness.

Groaning, Bill opened his computer and navigated to a new word document. But before he could add a single word, his phone began to ring. “Hello?” he answered, intrigued by the Maine area code. “Hi Bill. It’s Mike,” the voice on the other end replied.

————

Eddie drummed his fingers absently against the table, his mind lost in thought. “If you keep doing that, you’ll give yourself carpal tunnel syndrome,” Myra informed her husband. Eddie sighed, but stopped his drumming.

He took a sip of his wheatgrass and kale smoothie and made a face. That stuff was really nasty, but it was full of superfoods and nutrients, so it made for a good breakfast. 

“I’m probably going to be home from work late today,” Eddie announced, causing Myra to frown. “You work too much, Eddie-Bear,” she informed him. “I’m just in the middle of an important case right now. The client is looking into making a pretty big investment and I...” Eddie trailed off at Myra’s blank expression.

“I’ll be home late,” he reiterated, draining the rest of his smoothie in one gulp. He then stood up to move the glass to the sink, but stopped when he heard his phone ringing. 

“Edward Kaspbrak speaking,” Eddie said as he picked up. “Hi Eddie,” the voice on the other end replied. “This is Mike Hanlon.” 

When he heard the voice, Eddie stumbled backwards, tripping on his chair and dropping his glass to the ground, shattering it. A small shard embedded itself into his hand causing it to bleed and Myra to scream, but Eddie didn’t notice. All he could hear was Mike’s voice in his ear. “It’s time, Eddie. I need you to come back to Derry.”

————

Ben was out in the middle of a jog when he heard his phone ringing. He accepted the call using his headphones, not missing a step while running. 

“Hello,” he said, slightly out of breath. “Hi Ben. It’s Mike Hanlon,” Mike replied. “Mike?” Ben asked, a memory flashing through his mind. The next thing he knew, he was on the ground rubbing his ankle. 

“Are you okay?” Mike asked when he heard the phone clatter to the ground. “I’m fine,” Ben replied. “I just tripped over a rock in the path,” he admitted, a little embarrassed. 

He rubbed his ankle again and slowly got up, wincing a little when he put pressure on it, but pretty certain now that a little ice was all he needed to fix it. 

“I’m okay now,” he assured Mike. “Good,” Mike replied. “You might want to sit down first before I finish telling you the news. I don’t want you getting hurt again.”

————

Beverly frowned in the mirror as she applied her makeup. There was a small purple mark under her left eye from when Tom had throw his watch at her. 

He had apologized, of course. He was just grumpy from being awakened in the middle of the night. Beverly supposed she couldn’t blame him for being upset, but when her nightmares got particularly bad, it was sometimes hard to wake up quietly.

Lately the nightmares had gotten so much worse. Every night, Beverly was subjected to watching one gory death after another. It was getting harder and harder to actually sleep.

Tom was getting more irritable with her lately, possibly in part due to her own tension. The bruise on her cheek was firm reminder of that. 

As Beverly began to rub concealer over it, she heard her phone ring. Using her clean hand, Beverly hit accept call and switched it to speaker. A couple minutes later she was rushing out of the bathroom with her makeup half done.

She grabbed a suitcase and began to shove clothes haphazardly into it, the nightmares from the night before ever-present in her mind. As soon as she was packed, Beverly closed her suitcase and made her way to the bedroom door.

“Where do you think you’re going dressed like that and all packed up?” Tom asked her as she walked past the living room. “An old childhood friend called. I need to go back to my hometown for a few days.”

“Is that so?” Tom asked, eyeing Beverly up. “It is,” she replied, making her way to the door. Tom got up to stand in front of it. “And this old friend, what’s his name?” Tom asked, positioning his body so that Beverly couldn’t reach the doorknob.

“Mike,” Beverly replied. “Look Tom, it’s really no big deal. I’ll only be gone a few days.” She attempted to reach around him, but Tom grabbed her wrist.

“Ow! You’re hurting me, honey,” Beverly said, trying to pull her arm away. “I just don’t like it when you lie to me,” Tom replied, spinning Beverly around and shoving her up against the door, his hand still firmly gripping her wrist.

“Why don’t you tell me what you’ve really got planned?” he snarled into her face. “Nothing,” Beverly protested. “I really am just heading home!”

“Liar!” Tom snapped, using his free hand to strike Beverly across the face. “Stop lying, you bitch! You’re off to cheat on me with this Mike, aren’t you? Why don’t I show you what happens when you cheat on me?” He yelled, raising his hand up again.

Before Tom could hit Beverly again, he let out a squeal and released her wrist to grab his crotch. Using the temporary freedom the kick had bought her, Beverly scrambled for the door handle, quickly opening the door and racing outside. 

She slammed the door in Tom’s face and ran onto the street, hoping that he wouldn’t pursue her now that she was outside and in public. As she made her way off their driveway and into the road, Beverly took her ring off and chucked it back at the front porch. There was no way in hell she was ever going back to that house now.

————

Mike took a deep breath and sank back down onto his couch. “Phone calls all done?” Don asked, handing Mike a mug of coffee. Mike nodded in confirmation. “Yeah. Everyone should be here by this evening,” he replied, taking a sip and wincing.

“Sorry,” Don apologized. “Adrian and I always take our coffee with sugar, so I just made yours the same way.” Mike chuckled and shook his head. “This is what’s wrong with the youth these days,” he joked, causing Don to smile.

“Didn’t take you for an old fogey,” he joked back. “I should have know once I learned you worked at a library though.” Mike laughed again. It felt good to do so. In the past 27 years, he had nearly forgotten how to laugh. 

After Beverly moved away, the group was never quite the same, but after the last of his friends moved away, Mike found himself feeling very alone. Just having some people to talk to again was an incredible feeling. Not to mention the fact that Mike was finally going to see all his friends again after all these long years.

————

Stan had to admit that he thought he would be the more nervous one of the pair, but one hour into their flight and Richie was bouncing so much that Stan thought the friction might cause him to combust.

“I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you too,” Stan informed his friend, placing a hand on Richie’s knee to stop the bouncing. “Who?” Richie asked innocently. Too innocently if you asked Stan, who simply gave Richie a knowing look.

Richie sighed. “I’m sure he will be too. I’m just nervous, you know. After everything that happened and all the time that passed, it’s going to be so weird to see him again. Did you know that he’s married now? Our little Eddie Spaghetti went out and got himself a wife.”

“Oh,” Stan said softly. He offered Richie a sympathetic look. Richie had never explicitly told Stan anything about his feelings, but they had been pretty obvious. So obvious, in fact, that it was basically the first memory of Richie to come back to Stan. It hurt to see his friend sad like this.

“I’m sure he’ll still be really happy to see you,” Stan assured the other man. “Thanks Stan,” Richie replied earnestly. “At least until you start joking about his mom again,” Stan teased, trying to pull Richie out of his funk. 

“What can I say?” Richie replied. “I’m not going to lie to Eds about his mom’s intimate relationships. I can’t help it if I’ve got the best dick she’s ever had the good fortune to-“ “Beep, beep Richie,” Stan said with an eye roll. Richie grinned at Stan and despite himself, Stan found himself grinning back.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “As Eddie made his way back to the Loser’s private room, he meticulously rambled off all foods that could potentially kill him. He stopped short when he saw the others though. Mike, Stan, and Bill all grinned warmly at him. Richie on the other hand, looked like he had seen a ghost.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that will be closest to simply following movie plot as going forward, the ripple effects from the changes will get more prominent.
> 
> Also, in case you were wondering, Don and Adrian are back at the library in his chapter. They will show up again soon, but the reunion is just the OG Losers Club.

Richie took a deep breath as he parked his rented car in the parking lot of relatively nice looking Chinese restaurant. Memories of his last time here tumbled around in his mind and left him feeling nauseous. He wondered how freaked out the others would be if he puked upon seeing them.

The sight of Stan sitting in the seat beside him helped a little bit, but Richie knew that It would still be up to some sort of tricks while they were there. And then there was Eddie.

Despite his claims on the plane that he was nervous to see Eddie again, Richie was actually nervous that he wouldn’t see Eddie again. Sure, Stan and Adrian were alive now, but would Eddie be as well?

What if this was all a dream and Richie was about to get to the nightmare part of it? What if it was too late to actually save Eddie? It still didn’t quite seem real that Richie had this second chance and he was so scared it wouldn’t last. He didn’t think he could bear to lose Eddie a second time.

“Come on,” Stan said, opening his door. “I’m sure the others are waiting for us. You’re going to be okay in there. I promise.” Richie smiled weakly up at his friend and swallowed the barf that had been threatening to come up. Stan was clearly trying his best to put on a brave face, but Richie could see the fear peaking through. 

“Coming,” Richie replied, opening his door and stepping out. It wouldn’t do for him to chicken out now. Not when Stan was trying so hard to be brave.

—————

Eddie looked nervously around as he entered the restaurant and stoped in front of the hostess stand. He had never really been one for eating out; his mom much preferring instant meals and Myra preferring to cook for him. It was always much safer that way since he knew exactly what ingredients were going into his body. Unfortunately that wasn’t really an option right now if Eddie wanted to join in on this reunion. And he did want to join in, didn’t he? 

As Eddie made his way back to the Loser’s private room, he meticulously rambled off all foods that could potentially kill him in a desperate attempt to avoid an early, cashew-related death. He stopped short when he saw the others though. Mike, Stan, and Bill all grinned warmly at him. Richie on the other hand, looked like he had seen a ghost.

“Eddie,” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears. “Richie?” Eddie replied, his voice catching in his throat. “Eddie!” Richie cried out, running forward and grabbing Eddie in a bear hug, lifting him a few inches off the floor in the process.

“It’s you! It’s really you!” he cried. “Oh god, I’ve missed you! Eds! Oh Eds!” Richie sobbed a little as he held tightly onto the other man. Eddie squirmed weakly in his grasp.

“I’ve missed you too, Rich,” he informed him. “You’re sort of crushing me though.” “Oh. Sorry!” Richie said, quickly letting go of Eddie. Eddie then threw his arms around Richie in a much less violent hug.

“It’s great to see you again after all these years. I can’t believe I forgot about you,” Eddie admitted. “It’s okay,” Richie assured him, returning the hug. “We all forgot about each other. I know it’s nothing personal. I’m just so glad I have you back.”

“Me too,” Eddie agreed. “Now stop calling me Eds, you asshole,” he scolded. Richie laughed in delight and lead Eddie to the table, pulling a chair out for him to sit in. 

Once Eddie was seated, Richie’s eyes darted across the chairs, wondering if it made more sense for him to sit next to Eddie this time, or to keep a little bit of distance before he said something stupid. 

Don’t get him wrong, he was absolutely ecstatic to see Eddie again. It was something that he hadn’t even dreamed possible only a couple of days before. Yet Richie knew that Eddie didn’t have all the memories he did. And even if he did, it didn’t mean that Eddie shared his feelings.

Before Richie could make up his mind, Ben and Beverly entered, completing the group. After another quick round of hugs, Ben sat down on the one side of Eddie with Mike next to him. Stan then pointedly sat down one seat away from Eddie on his other side and gave Richie a look.

Richie made a face at him, but reluctantly sat down beside Eddie who stared sadly at him. “You okay there Eds?” Richie asked in concern. Eddie nodded. “It’s just a lot, you know. I got the phone call and some of the memories came back, but when I saw you again, it’s like a truck slammed into me. All these thoughts and feelings I haven’t had in so long all just came rushing back. God, I probably sound crazy to you, but-“

“No crazier than usual,” Richie teased before growing serious. “I felt it too,” he assured Eddie. “I’m still feeling it,” Bill piped up, Ben nodded hastily in agreement. “It’s crazy to think we’ve gone so long without seeing each other,” Beverly added. 

“Well, now’s the time to catch up,” Mike said, deciding that they should have some time to rekindle their relationship before he dropped the bomb on them. “I’ll start,” Richie said, also realizing that the conversation was prematurely steering into the heavy topics. “So I’m a rather famous stand up comedian now,” he bragged, putting on the smuggest face he could manage.

“You mean a shitty, second rate comedian,” Eddie grumbled. “Hey!” Richie protested. “I’ve seen your show, man. You sort of suck,” Eddie admitted. Richie only grinned. “You hear that guys? Eds here is a fan of mine,” Richie bragged. “I just said you sucked,” Eddie pointed out. “And don’t call me Eds,” he grumbled.

“Yes, but you still watch me, don’t you?” Richie protested. Eddie rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. “Shut up, dumbass,” he grumbled. From behind Richie, Stan smiled in relief. He was sure that he would get tired of their antics again soon, but for now it was just nice to see that Richie’s worries had been unfounded. 

And maybe if Richie’s worries were unfounded, his would be too. Stan’s eyes drifted over Beverly and onto Bill. Of all the Losers besides Richie, Bill was the one Stan missed the most. 

“So what have you been up to?” he asked his friend. “Well, I’m an author now,” Bill replied. “You know, I’ve actually read some of your works before,” Beverly piped up. “What did you think of the endings?” Bill asked. Beverly shifted embarrassedly. “They sucked,” she admitted, looking away. 

“Damn,” Bill grumbled. “Not you too. Stan?” he asked hopefully. Stan shook his head. “Now that I think about it, I have seen your books for sale before. I’m not really one for horror though,” he apologized. 

Bill shrugged. “One less disappointed customer then, I guess.” The three friends all laughed. Mike relaxed a little in his seat once he saw everyone engaging. He know that he would eventually need to tell them what was going on, but it was better to let them have some fun first.

“So what’s up with you?” Ben asked Eddie innocently. “You haven’t really shared much of your life yet,” he pointed out. Eddie just shrugged. “Well, I got married,” he admitted, looking a little awkwardly at Richie.

Richie stared back at Eddie for a second. Last time he had teased Eddie rather relentlessly about his life choices. It had been pretty funny to watch Eddie get all riled up, but Richie wasn’t really sure if he wanted a repeat performance of that.

“I’m not surprised,” Richie replied, making up his mind. “Any woman should consider herself lucky to snatch up a man such as yourself.” Eddie’s eyes widened in surprise and a splash of red lit up his face. “T-thanks, Rich,” he sputtered. Richie smiled affectionately, if not a little sadly, at him. “Anytime Spagheds,” he replied. 

Eddie rolled his eyes at the name, but the smile remained on his face. “Her name’s Myra,” he continued. “She’s... caring,” he added, the smile fading somewhat. “She’s always looking out for me, you know?” Richie nodded. He did know.

“What about you Richie? You find someone to settle down with?” Eddie asked, suddenly a little nervous. Richie feigned shock. “What? You didn’t know?” “No,” Eddie replied, worry flashing across his face. “Your mom and I-“ Richie began. “Oh, shut up,” Eddie snapped, annoyance and relief evident on his face.

Richie felt his heart stir a little as he watched Eddie’s reactions to his words. He tried to remember if Eddie had looked at him that way last time or if there had only been annoyance. Of course, last time Richie had been in denial about his feelings. Now that he had accepted his love for the other man, Richie wondered if he wasn’t just reading into things.

Realizing he had been quiet for a few seconds, Richie quickly forced a laugh before making the same dumb Jabba the Hut joke he made the time before. By this point, any semblance of relief on Eddie’s face was replaced with exasperation, but Richie still couldn’t help but wonder what it all meant.

————

Thus the night continued to wear on, the seven friends determined to make the most of their reunion. The room echoed with laughter as dishes were shared and stories swapped. In that moment, it was almost easy to forget what they were doing there and just pretend that it was a friendly reunion. Only every time someone started to let the fear completely slip their minds, it came tugging back.

“So why exactly did you call us back here, Mikey?” Richie asked after looking up and seeing the other man fidgeting and realizing it was time. From across the table, Mike gave him an appreciative nod.

“Does everyone here remember the oath we made when we’re kids?” Mike asked. An uncomfortable silence fell over the group. “Oath...” Bill whispered, suddenly looking down at his hand. “It’s back again now, right?” Stan asked softly. Mike nodded gravely.

“Pennywise,” Beverly recalled. Eddie’s eyes grew wide. “That fucking clown,” he muttered. The others all turned to face him. “So those memories...” Ben began. “They’re all real,” Mike confirmed. “Twenty seven years ago we stopped that monster’s killing rampage. We thought that we had killed it, but we were wrong and now it’s back.”

“How did we forget this?” Bill asked. “It’s a curse,” Mike explained. “It’s how the monster makes sure no one interferes. Once you leave Derry, you lose those memories. I only remembered because I never left.”

Mike placed a notebook on the table and began to flip through the pages. “I’ve spent the past twenty seven years researching it, studying everything I could possibly learn about it. Studying every method we could use to defeat it. I haven’t called you here without a plan.”

Mike gave Richie a meaningful glance and Richie nodded. “And you really think it will work?” Stan asked nervously. Mike nodded. “We’re already one step ahead of it by simply reuniting again. Once we have our memories back in full, we’ll have the upper hand. Don’t you worry. I promise that we have a way to win.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “As Mike lead Richie up the staircase in the back of the library, Richie couldn’t help but feel another wave of unease. “You live here?” he asked when he saw the stuffy, old upper floor Mike called his home. Mike nodded. “Yeah. It made a good home base,” he explained. 
> 
> Richie just shook his head. “First thing you’re doing once we kill this fucking clown is moving the hell out of Derry and seeing the world,” he declared giving Mike a meaningful look.”

After Mike’s speech, no one had much of an appetite anymore. Fortunately, by that point they had all eaten their fill and all that remained now was the bowl of fortune cookies sitting innocently in the middle of the table.

“Well, I’m stuffed,” Richie announced, standing up. “What, you don’t want to know your fortune Richie?” Eddie asked. “Nah,” Richie replied. “We’re dealing with enough actual supernatural stuff right now. I’m not really in the mood to play pretend with any more of it.” 

Eddie eyed his friend suspiciously, but returned his own cookie to the bowl and stood up as well. Stan quickly followed suit. From the other end of the table, Mike put his back too and motioned for Bill and Ben to do the same. Beverly also quickly put hers down when she saw no one else was opening theirs.

“I think we’ve all had enough excitement for one night,” Mike announced, motioning for the others to follow him. “Why don’t you guys retire for the night. We can reconvene tomorrow morning and go over our plans.” The group nodded in agreement, making their way out of the private room.

As they were heading out, they heard a rattling sound and turned back in horror to see the bowl of abandoned fortune cookies starting to shake.

“Richie,” Eddie whimpered in horror, taking a step back and closer to Richie. “And that looks like our cue to leave,” Richie replied, grabbing Eddie’s arm and pulling him along as he started walking faster.

“We’re just going to ignore that?” Eddie protested. “Yes,” both Richie and Stan firmly replied. “Let’s get the hell out of here,” Bill agreed.

The seven friends quickly made their way to the main area of the restaurant. Richie took a quick glance around, but didn’t see the kid he had freaked out at the time before. A wave of relief washed over him. He was pretty sure that the kid had died at least in part due to that interaction and Richie hoped he would stay far away from everything this time.

Once the seven Losers made it outside, they all took a collective deep breath. They had made it through their first gathering unscathed and were feeling a little bit more ready for the next day.

After a few more minutes of discussion, they all began to disperse and head back to their own cars. Richie walked over to his sporty, red rental car, but stopped when he felt a hand on his arm.

He turned, secretly hoping it was Eddie, but instead found Mike staring back at him. “Do you mind if we chat a little tonight, just the two of us?” Mike asked. Richie silently gulped. He had a pretty good idea what Mike wanted to talk to him about, but it wasn’t a conversation he was particularly looking forward to having.

“Won’t the others get suspicious?” Richie whispered back to him. Mike shrugged. “We’ll figure out what to tell the others when we talk, okay. I just really need to go over some stuff with you.”

Richie felt a painful pang in his heart when he saw the desperation in Mike’s eyes. Mike had made so many sacrifices and spent so much time preparing for It’s revival only to now be turning to a man who had spent the past twenty seven years blissfully unaware as he tried to live out his dreams. It just wasn’t fair to him, yet Mike wasn’t complaining. He just wanted to protect his friends. How could Richie ever say no to someone like that?

“Okay Mikey,” Richie reluctantly agreed. “Thanks Rich,” Mike replied, letting out a breath of air. “It will only be for an hour or two then you can head back to the inn,” he promised.

“Stan and I drove together,” Richie replied, suddenly realizing that he didn’t have his own car. “I’ll drop you back off then,” Mike assured him. Richie nodded then turned back to his car and to Stan who was sitting in the passenger’s seat.

“I assume I’ll be driving back to the inn alone?” Stan asked. “Will you be okay?” Richie asked earnestly. Stan nodded and offered a weak smile. “Yeah. I’ll be fine. You two go take care of whatever you need to take care of. I’ll make sure the inn holds your room for you.”

Richie nodded and grinned. “Thanks Stan the Man. I always knew I could count on you!” Stan rolled his eyes at the nickname, but smiled at it nonetheless. He seemed to be getting soft in his older age. Or perhaps he had just really missed Richie. Having his friends back again after all this time felt so good. He couldn’t believe he had briefly contemplated not returning.

————

As Mike lead Richie up the staircase in the back of the library, Richie couldn’t help but feel another wave of unease. “You live here?” he asked when he saw the stuffy, old upper floor Mike called his home. Mike nodded. “Yeah. It made a good home base,” he explained. 

Richie just shook his head. “First thing you’re doing once we kill this fucking clown is moving the hell out of Derry and seeing the world,” he declared giving Mike a meaningful look.

“That’s what I keep telling him,” a voice piped up from behind Richie. Richie spun around with a start and let out a little yelp when he saw a young man standing there holding slice of pizza and wearing a too large shirt that looked like it belonged to Mike.

“Who the fuck are you?” Richie demanded, looking frantically between Mike and the young man. “You didn’t tell him about us?” the young man asked in confusion. “I did,” Mike assured him. “I just don’t think he’s put two and two together yet. Cut him some slack though. He’s gone through a lot lately,” Mike said diplomatically.

“Haven’t we all?” Another vice piped up. A second later, another young man stood up from the couch in the back of the room and came forward. He was also wearing a shirt too large for his body and his face looked like it had taken quite the beating. One of his eyes was swollen shut, his lip had clearly been split open, and he had bandages over his nose.

Despite his appearance, the young man also grinned. “My name’s Adrian Mellon and this is my boyfriend, Don Hagarty,” Adrian said, pointing to Don who waved when his name was mentioned. Richie’s eyes widened at the mention of the word boyfriend.

“Yes, I know who you are now,” he replied, realizing that these were the boys that Mike had saved. “I’m glad to see you made it here in one piece. Or at least close to one,” he added, motioning to Adrian’s face.

Don scrunched up his nose, but Adrian just snorted. “Yeah. It was looking rather grim for a minute there, but fortunately Mike here appeared with a bag of rocks and started pelting our attackers with them.”

“Holy shit,” Richie whispered. “The rock fight! I remember it now! Mike! That’s how we brought you into our group and became the lucky seven we are today! Holy shit,” he said again, shaking his head in amazement and glee.

Mike grinned back up at Richie. “That was probably the best day of my life, you know? And a few days ago I was able to pay it forward and now I have the next generation of Losers living in my apartment. And it’s all thanks to you,” he said gratefully.

Richie shook his head. “It’s because of you, Mikey. You’re the one who saved them. I just told you where to be,” he protested. “Yes, and thanks to that info, I was able to be where I was needed,” Mike countered.

He motioned for Richie to follow him to the couch and take a seat. Don sat down on the chair next to the couch, pulling Adrian into his lap and nuzzling his head against Adrian’s shoulder.

“I assume you know why I wanted to talk to you specifically,” Mike said, his face and tone growing serious. Richie silently nodded. “You said you know how to kill It. Please tell me what we need to do.”

Richie closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “We need to believe,” he replied, wincing when he saw Mike frown. “Look, I know you want something concrete, but I don’t have an exact rule book to follow. We just need to believe that It isn’t scary or dangerous. I know how hard that is though. Your plan was basically the same thing and it failed. We all told ourselves we believed the ritual would work, but maybe we didn’t believe hard enough. We didn’t start gaining the upper hand until after E-“

Richie trailed off and stared miserable at his hands. “I don’t know how to make everyone believe that It isn’t powerful when they are all so filled with fear. I do think that regaining our memories helped though. I know the token thing you came up with was mainly just bs to get us to remember, but maybe we should try it again,” Richie suggested.

“Should we tell them the truth about you?” Mike asked. “If they all know that you’ve seen us defeat It before, could that help them believe?” Richie thought about it for a moment, but eventually shook his head.

“I don’t think it will help,” he admitted. “If they know, then they’ll aim for things to go as before. We obviously can’t do that, but I don’t want to tell them why because I don’t want to frighten Eddie. He’s scared enough as is and I refuse to do that to him,” Richie said firmly.

Mike stared sadly at Richie. “So when you said casualties...” he let the sentence hang out there in the air. Richie nodded. “I assume you can already guess that Stan was one of them from my insistence on gathering him in person, but the other one of the Losers was Eds. Beyond that, it was just innocent citizens of Derry, but I still want to save them too.”

Mike reached out and gently squeezed Richie’s hand. “Okay,” he said after a moment of silence. “We’ll just continue to do things as last time unless you specifically object to something. Things are different now and all seven of us are here. We’ll just need to guide everyone to the right answer.”

Richie smiled appreciatively at Mike. “Nine,” a voice then spoke up. Richie and Mike both turned to stare at Adrian. “There are nine of us Losers now. Don and I might not be a part of the original group, but we’re Losers too. We can help you defeat It.” 

Don took a deep breath then spoke up as well. “Adrian’s right. You keep talking about how important it is that everyone is here together. Now that we’re a part of the group, we are a part of that everyone.” “Besides,” Adrian piped back up excitedly, “that stupid clown probably won’t be expecting us. If we attack with you, maybe we could be a good trump card!” Don nodded in agreement.

Mike opened his mouth to protest, but Richie spoke up first. “You two are a couple right?” he asked. Adrian looked at him in surprise while Don narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Yeah. Why does it matter?” Don asked.

“You’re a gay couple living in Derry,” Richie clarified, causing Don and Adrian to look even more confused and suspicious. “Yes,” Don agreed. “Again, I don’t see wh-“

“Was it hard?” Richie asked earnestly, cutting Don off. Don’s eyes softened as he realized what Richie was asking. “If you’re asking if it was hard to be openly gay in Derry, you only need to look at Adrian’s face. But I wouldn’t trade our love for the world. Of course, I hate seeing Addy hurt like this, but I know he would never forgive me if I said I would rather still be in the closet in order to protect him.”

Adrian turned around in Don’s lap to face his boyfriend. “I would,” he objected,  
gently taking his boyfriend’s hand. “I did something absurdly stupid picking that fight and I almost paid the price. I’d understand if you wished we weren’t out and proud that day.” 

Don smiled sadly as he used he free hand to gently push a strand of Adrian’s hair off his face and away from his bad eye. “I could never regret being out and proud. I love you and I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t think we should keep living here and I don’t want you to pick more stupid fights, but I don’t regret going on a date with you that night. How could I ever regret our love?” Don asked.

Richie watched silently as the two young men talked. He wasn’t sure just how much they knew about him and Eddie and how much of this conversation of theirs was planned, but given their tender looks and gentle kissing, Richie was inclined to believe it was all organic. Maybe they were all just trying to solve the same problem from different angles.

Only both Eddie and Adrian had died last time. It hadn’t made any difference how open Richie and Don were with their love. They both had to watch as the love of the life was brutally torn away from them and murdered.

But Adrian was alive now and he and Don were happy. Richie and Mike had a plan now, however flimsy it might be, and there were three more Losers joining the battle. Surely they could save Eddie too. 

And if they could save Eddie and if Don and Adrian could get a happy ending, then surely it would be okay for Richie to open up too, right? It would help everyone else too since It could no longer taunt him about it. If he took away the secret, then he took away the power. And if he took away the power, then It was just a powerless clown.

“I’ve got it!” Richie suddenly cried. “I know how to defeat It! Truly defeat it. It becomes powerless when we stop letting our fears have power over us. That’s why nothing was working until after Eddie was hurt. He and I hadn’t faced our fears until that moment together. We were the last of the Losers there to do it.

But now we have Don and Adrian who already faced their fears and are currently making out in the wake of them, Stan who’s already well on his way to overcoming just by being here, and me, who is bisexual and proud to be. Oh, and deeply in love with Eddie if that wasn’t obvious enough. I’ll still have to work up the courage to tell the rest of the Losers and confess to Eddie himself, but I’ll get there. We’re already part of the way there and I know we can all make it. We can really do this Mike! We can actually kill this fucking clown!”

Mike, Don, and Adrian all stared at Richie for a minute before breaking out into cheers and squashing him in a group hug. “Hell yeah, gay rights!” Adrian yelled out, making everyone laugh. They all hugged for a few moments more before Adrian had to pull away to protect his face. Don pulled away a second later, leaving just Mike and Richie clinging onto each other.

“I’m so proud of you Rich,” Mike whispered to his friend. Richie only whimpered and pulled Mike in closer. “I know you’re still scared, but I believe in you. And I really think things will go well. I’ve seen the way that Eddie looks at you.”

Richie let out a little laugh, smiling at the words of his friend. “You really are amazing, Mike. I hope you’re right.” Mike nodded firmly. “I know I am,” he replied. Then he grinned.

“I think I’m starting to get there too,” Mike then admitted. “I was so afraid of being alone. So afraid of everyone leaving me behind, just like my parents, that I stayed here obsessively watching over you guys. But I’m not alone. You haven’t left me behind, and even if you did, I have the ability to meet more amazing people.” Mike turned to Don and Adrian and smiled.

“I’m not afraid anymore,” Mike promised Richie. “I’ve spent the past twenty seven years obsessing over that clown, but now I’m just excited for what will happen when it’s all over. There are so many things I want to see and do and they’re finally starting to come into my reach.”

The group erupted into another round of cheers as Adrian and Don rejoined the hug. This was how it was supposed to be. Mike and Richie were sure of that now. This was what they needed to defeat that stupid clown. They just needed to be there for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Mike is shaping up to be a more important character in this than I originally expected, but I’m not complaining. Ben, Bev, and Bill will all get more important roles in the near future, but next chapter (which I’m almost done writing) will finally give some more focus to our beloved Spaghetti.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Richie?” a soft voice called out to him. “Eds?” Richie whispered, turning around to see the other man staring at him from slim opening of the door. “Did you want to come in?” Eddie asked quietly. Richie’s eyes widened a little. “Umm, yeah, sure,” he replied, dragging his stuff along with him and dumping it by Eddie’s bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we’ll finally get some of that good Losers group dynamic, but for now enjoy some Reddie!

After everyone was hugged out, Mike and Richie hammered out the details of their plans a little more before Mike finally drove Richie back to the inn. It was pretty late by this point, but a text from Stan confirmed that Richie’s room was reserved for him and his belongings were in the rental car’s trunk. It also let him know what rooms the other Losers were staying in, just in case.

Richie wasn’t really sure how or when he wanted to confess to Eddie. Mike seemed pretty confident that it would go well, but Eddie was married to a woman now, and even if he hated her, Richie didn’t think that Eddie would be the sort of guy to cheat. Assuming that he even had any sort of feelings for Richie in the first place.

With a sigh, Richie started to ascend the staircase, silently cursing the age of the building and the fact that there wasn’t an elevator to help him bring his bags upstairs. As Richie made his way down the hallway to his room, he stopped in front of a door two rooms down from his own. 

Despite the late hour, light was streaming through the crack under the door. Checking the room’s number again, Richie felt his heart tighten. Why was Eddie still up at this hour? 

He raised his fist to knock before lowering it back down a second later. What if Eddie was just too scared to sleep with the lights off? It was a real possibility. Only Eddie probably had all sorts of statistics on why it was bad for you to sleep with the lights on. Was he so scared he was ignoring health warnings?

Richie raised his hand up again, but left it hovering in the air. What would he say to Eddie if they did talk? Should he lay the truth on him now? Should he wait until Eddie got back more of his memories? It didn’t really seem fair to confess his undying love when Eddie didn’t even remember him fully.

Looking down, Richie realized how pathetic he was being. He was so eager to see Eddie, he hadn’t even brought his bag into his own room. What would Eddie think if he saw him like this?

Richie started to turn away from Eddie’s door to head back to his room, but stopped short when he heard the door creak open. 

“Richie?” a soft voice called out to him. “Eds?” Richie whispered, turning around to see the other man staring at him from slim opening of the door. “Did you want to come in?” Eddie asked quietly. Richie’s eyes widened a little. “Umm, yeah, sure,” he replied, dragging his stuff along with him and dumping it by Eddie’s bed.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” Richie asked in concern. Eddie shook his head. “I was waiting up for you,” he admitted sheepishly. “I know you were just with Mike, but I was worried about you. I couldn’t really sleep anyways, so I figured it wasn’t worth trying. All it would do is disturb my REM cycle and make me even more tired. Then I...” 

Eddie trailed off when he realized he was starting to ramble about his heath again, but before he could apologize, he caught Richie’s eyes and saw a warm smile on his face. “We wouldn’t want that to happen,” Richie responded, his voice surprisingly earnest and devoid of teasing.

Eddie shook his head and giggled a little, patting the bed next to him for Richie to come sit down. Richie’s eyes flickered nervously to the spot and he gulped in anticipation. 

“You okay there?” Eddie asked, concerned by his friend’s reaction. Richie sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m okay, Eds,” Richie assured him. “It’s just like what you said back at dinner. It’s a little overwhelming, seeing you again after all this time. It’s like a missing part of me is finally back in place, but I’m so scared that one wrong move will cause me to lose it again.”

Eddie stared sadly up at Richie for a second before patting the spot next to him once more. “You’re not going to be rid of me that easily,” Eddie assured him. “Maybe when this is all over, I’ll become a groupie or something and follow you around on all your tours. Although I sort of hate your material, so maybe I’ll follow you around heckling you. I could be like the president of your hate club or something,” Eddie suggested, a smile forming on his face.

Richie chuckled, his worry starting to fade a little, and sat down next to Eddie. “I could use a good heckler or two. My material really does suck and maybe if my writers saw how much you hated it, they would let me change some stuff up.”

Eddie cocked his head at his friend. “So you really don’t write your own material?” he asked. “You really watched it enough to suspect that?” Richie countered. Eddie shrugged. “I didn’t realize it was you back then. I just knew there was something about that stupid, sexist, homophobic comedian that pissed me the fuck off and it wasn’t his terrible jokes. I mean, those pissed me off too, but I just kept waiting for him to say something actually funny, you know? Every time I saw him preform, I just expected something more.”

Richie felt his heart soar at Eddie’s words. No matter how much It had fucked with them, at least some part of Eddie still remembered and sought him out for all those years. Even if Eddie had gone off and married some god awful woman, a small part of his heart had still belonged to Richie.

“Well, if you were waiting for him to say something funny, I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint you. Also, you clearly didn’t remember me all that well if you thought I could make you laugh.” Eddie snorted and swatted at Richie. “Oh, shut the fuck up,” he scolded. “You were occasionally funny. And at the very least, you were never that cringey as a kid. You really should fire your writers. They aren’t doing you any favors.”

Richie’s eyes lit up and a cat-like grin formed on his face. “You think I’m funny?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. “Every once and a while,” Eddie replied, his face growing red. “Eddie thinks I’m funny! The Spaghetti thinks I’m funny!” Richie replied in a sing-song voice.

“Shut up!” Eddie scolded again. “Do you want to wake the others up? Stop being such a turd!” Richie snorted at Eddie’s elevated voice during his scolding. “Now who’s going to wake the others up?” he teased, earning him a pillow to the face. A second later, he had grabbed Eddie’s second pillow and was returning the favor.

The two men continued to spar with the pillows for a couple more minutes until they were laughing so hard, tears were streaming down their cheeks. 

“God, I missed how much of a little shit you were,” Richie said as a particularly well aimed blow from Eddie sent his glasses flying from his face. Eddie snickered then brought the pillow back down against Richie’s head.

“No fair!” Richie protested. “I can’t see anything now. You can’t beat up on a disabled person!” Eddie rolled his eyes, but relented and put the pillow down. “Can you really not see?” he asked. Richie shrugged. “You’re basically just a blob of colors to me right now. You could be naked and jerking off right now and I would have no idea.”

Eddie rolled his eyes again and whacked Richie with the pillow once more before getting up off the bed and picking Richie’s glasses up off the floor and replacing them on his face. “You don’t happen to have contacts with you, do you?” he asked as he sat back down beside Richie.

“No. Why?” Richie asked, confused. “Was my glasses-less face so sexy that you want to see me without them all the time?” Eddie raised the pillow up again threateningly, causing Richie to pretend to cower in fear.

“No, dipshit,” Eddie replied, lowering the pillow. “I’m just worried about what will happen if they fall off or get damaged while we’re fighting. What will we do if you’re suddenly disabled and unable to defend yourself?” 

Eddie stared nervously at Richie’s face and Richie felt his heart beat faster. “I’ll be okay,” Richie assured his friend. “But how can you know that?” Eddie protested, panic creeping into his voice. “We’re doing something stupidly dangerous and there are so many unknowns and so many things that can go wrong. If I can’t even prepare for the issues I do know about, how can I prepare for the ones I don’t?”

Eddie stared desperately up at Richie. His eyes had started watering again, but this time it wasn’t from laughter. “I’m so scared, Rich,” he admitted. “Everything that could possibly go wrong keeps running through my head. There are so many things that could go wrong, but I don’t know how to prepare for any of them. I don’t even know how to help you defend yourself against a pillow. How am I supposed to protect you from an evil clown?”

Eddie sniffled and held the pillow close to his chest. “What if I’m just a burden?” he asked sadly. “What if all I do is think of scary things that It can then use to exploit us? All night long as I waited for you to come back, I imagined horrible things happening to you. And then I panicked that imagining them would cause them to happen, but that just made me panic and imagine even more things. What if my neurotic tendencies are what drag us down and cause us to fail?” 

Eddie tried to sniffle again, but found his breath catch in his throat. Panic settled in as he realized that he was struggling to breath. He began to flail around for his inhaler, but Richie caught his hands instead and started rubbing his back.

“Hey. Hey. It’s okay Eds,” he gently soothed. “Breath in with me, okay. Just take a deep breath. First in, then out. There you go!” Richie continued to breath with Eddie for a minute until Eddie’s breathing returned to normal.

“How did you do that?” Eddie whispered, staring at Richie in shock. “I have asthma. I should have needed my medicine to help me.” Richie shook his head and squeezed Eddie’s hands.

“You don’t have asthma, Eds. You have anxiety. Your mom just tricked you into thinking you had asthma as a way to control you. Only you broke out of her control. You stood up to her and told her off. Do you remember that?”

As Eddie thought about Richie’s words, a blurry memory of him throwing his pills and shouting something about “gazebos” came back to him. “So I’m not really sick?” he asked in shock. Richie shook his head. “Nope!” he declared. “You’re not delicate either. In fact, you’re a total badass who responded to being puked on by an evil clown by kicking him directly in the head. You’re just about the strongest person I know,” Richie assured Eddie.

“Really?” Eddie asked, his voice filled with hope. “Really,” Richie promised. “You’re so much braver and stronger than you think. I know you’re afraid and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m terrified too. There are so many things I’m afraid of. I’ve spent pretty much my entire life being a coward, but you make me stronger and braver too. The Losers need you, Eddie. I need you.”

Richie let out a soft “oof” as Eddie collapsed into his arms and buried his face into his chest. “You’re not a coward,” Eddie objected. “I still don’t remember that summer all that well, but I remember you. Every time I was in danger, you were there to protect me. And you even snapped my arm back into place when it broke, didn’t you?”

Richie nodded, smiling at the memory. “You were yelling at me the entire time, screaming at me not to fucking touch you.” Eddie laughed as the rest of the memory came back. “Yeah, I guess I was. I’m glad you ignored me though. You did a good job resetting the bone. I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for doing it.”

Richie grinned. “Probably for the best,” he admitted. “You don’t want an idiot like me getting a big head.” He turned to Eddie, expecting a friendly jab or maybe another pillow to the face, but instead found Eddie staring sadly at him.

“You never had enough confidence in yourself,” Eddie objected. “You probably could have used few more compliments and thanks from me. I didn’t realize at the time, or course, but you don’t have a lot of self-confidence do you?” Richie shifted uncomfortably.

“You deserve to like yourself, okay? Sure, your jokes were often shitty, but they still made me laugh and feel good. And yeah, sometimes you got on our nerves, but whenever you were gone, my life felt boring and lonely. All those years without you left a piece of me missing too. When I said that you wouldn’t get rid of me so easily, I meant it. I’m never going back to a place in my life where you aren’t a part of it. I absolutely refuse.”

Eddie stared sadly at his friend as tears welled up in Richie’s eyes and began to fall. Maybe Richie was right and he was braver and stronger than he believed. Richie was certainly far more incredible than he believed.

“Eds,” Richie whispered. “Yes Chee?” Eddie replied, not only letting the nickname slide, but returning with one in kind. “There’s something I need to tell you,” Richie admitted. He stared nervously at the other man. “What is it?” Eddie asked softly.

“I don’t know if I should tell you now, or wait for your memories to come back though,” Richie continued. Eddie shrugged. “It’s up to you. I’ll wait as long as I need to until you’re ready. But I’m ready whenever you are. Whatever it is you need to tell me, I’ll be happy to learn it.”

Richie smiled warmly at the other man. “Then let’s talk again tomorrow. Mike and I talked about the next steps and I’m pretty sure that by the end of the day tomorrow, all your memories will be back. Let’s talk then. Before we storm It’s lair and face our final battle.”

Eddie rested his head against Richie’s chest and nodded. “Okay Chee,” he agreed. “We’ll talk then. Until then, do you mind staying the rest of the night with me? I don’t think I’m going to be able to get any sleep by myself and I’d feel a lot better if you were here with me.”

“Of course, Eds,” Richie assured the other man. “Let me just quickly change and brush my teeth. I’m sure you don’t want me breathing my stinky breath on you.” Eddie giggled a little at that, but let Richie up to get ready. He smiled happily to himself as he watched the other man grab his belongings and head into the bathroom.

And as the two men curled up beside each other on the bed, Richie let himself indulge in the feelings of warmth it brought him instead of worrying about the sexual implications of it all. Eddie wanted him here by his side and that was all that mattered right now. He knew that he had chickened out a little that night, but he was making progress. Richie would be brave enough to tell Eddie the next day, he was sure of it. He could practically feel Eddie’s own courage rubbing off on him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And you know somewhere we can go to get those memories back?” Stan asked, recalling what Mike has said earlier. Mike shrugged. “Sort of. I know a place to start,” he clarified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if this chapter isn’t as good as the others. It’s definitely more a setup chapter for the upcoming ones, but hopefully I still made it interesting! I have the rest of this fic more or less all planned out now (save for some of the smaller details) and I like where it’s going, so I hope you’ll stick around with me on it!

Through the thin walls dividing their rooms, Ben heard Richie and Eddie talking and laughing. A warmth stirred in his heart when he heard how happily the two of them were interacting. He couldn’t make out most of what they were saying, but he didn’t hear the door reopen, so he was pretty sure that Richie stayed the night with Eddie.

And Ben was happy for them, he really was. He was thrilled to hear that Richie and Eddie seemed to finally be getting the happily ever after they deserved. God knows they pined over each other long enough.

But despite his happiness, Ben also felt a wave of sadness and emptiness. He saw the way Bill and Bev looked at each other all night long. He knew that they had feelings for each other when they were kids and he knew it wasn’t fair to wish that they didn’t get happiness too, but Ben wished it could have been him.

Despite his hazy memories, Ben thought he recalled that pretty much all the Losers had a crush on Beverly at some point in their lives. How could they not with someone as incredible as her? Yet Ben was pretty certain that his feelings stemmed from a different place than they did for the others. 

Sure, like the others, Ben admired Beverly’s strength and bravery, delighted in her wit, and basked in her beauty, but that was only part of it. For Ben, Beverly was the first person to have looked at him and seen something beyond his weight and outcast status. 

Until he moved to Derry, Ben had always just been the weird, fat, new kid who stayed around for a year or so, made no friends, then left with almost no impression. Yet within minutes of knowing each other, Beverly had learned Ben’s name and treated him like a human being. She didn’t care if he was a loser, he was still a person in her eyes. And she had seemed so happy to realize that, in his eyes, she was a person too.

Of course, both Ben and Bev eventually found five other people who saw them that way. When it was just them Losers, everyone was free to open up and be themselves. And while Ben certainly shed a lot of his shell around the others, it was always Beverly that helped him see his own real self-worth.

Only it all was so short lived. After Beverly moved away, everything slowly but surely began to change. And when Ben’s own family moved away, most of Ben’s newly discovered self-worth was torn away from him along with his forgotten memories.

Suddenly alone, Ben desperately tried to recapture the feelings of love and friendship he vaguely remembered, but couldn’t place. He worked hard, pushing himself to lose his baby fat and put his interests and talents to good use.

He eventually became both successful and conventionally attractive, yet still found himself chasing some forgotten memory, some incredible feeling of warmth, and some girl named Beverly who had once upon a time signed his yearbook with little hearts by her name.

And now he had finally found that Beverly, but she still was out of his reach. Ben could almost laugh at the absurdity of it all if it didn’t hurt so much. And all of his hard work over all those years really did mean nothing in the end, because of course it didn’t. Beverly never looked at Ben as a weird fat kid before, so why should she look at him as a successful hot guy now? He was always just going to be Ben to her. But unfortunately Ben didn’t seem to be enough.

Shaking his head, Ben forced the thoughts out of his mind and threw a pillow over his head to block out the sounds from Eddie’s room. He wanted to at least try to get a little sleep before the night was up. They all had a big day coming up, and lying in bed worrying wouldn’t help anyone.

————

The next morning, all seven Losers were gathered in the main room of the library. The place didn’t open for another couple of hours, so Mike felt okay being a little bit more in the open.

“So I’m sure you’re all wondering what the plan of attack is,” Mike spoke up once everyone had situated themselves. He was met by a half dozen sounds of affirmation. “Over the past two and a half decades, I’ve come to learn a great deal about It and its past. One of the most important things I learned was of the ritual,” Mike continued.

He shared a quick glance with Richie. This was something they had talked about the night before and eventually agreed on. Before they could tell the Losers the true way to defeat It, everyone had to regain their memories and the stupid token hunt still seemed to be the best way to do that. Besides, neither Richie nor Mike were sure of how much It knew and the fewer people who knew the truth right now, the better.

“The ritual is the key to defeating It. We have already accomplished the first step by all reconvening. Just simply by all being here together, we have great power over that clown,” Mike explained. He was met by the silence of five nervous people and one simply with nothing to add.

Mike cleared his throat before continuing. “The next step is remembering. I know that your memories are all starting to come back, but they aren’t all there yet. There are still blank spaces that must be filled.”

The five uninformed Losers looked around uneasily at each other. There were reasons why those memories were sealed away and nobody was sure they wanted to regain them. Stan in particular looked rather pale, causing Richie to gently place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze.

“I’ll continue to update you as we go, but for now I want to take things one step at a time,” Mike assured his friends. “There’s someplace I want to take you that I think will really help with your memories, but first there are two people I would like for you to meet.”

Mike turned to look over his shoulder as Don and Adrian slowly came out from behind a bookshelf. Richie grinned and waved when he saw them and Adrian happily waved back. 

“A couple days ago, Don and Adrian here ran into some trouble with some homophobic bullies, but fortunately both I and a lot of rocks happened to be around to help them.” Mike took a moment to smiled fondly in recollection. “The seven of us christened our club with a rock war and now I have inducted two new members. They might not have been there to battle with us the first time, but they will only serve to make us stronger now.”

Murmurs of excitement and recollection broke out amongst the rest of the Losers at the mention of the rock fight. “Holy shit,” Eddie whispered as the day came back to him. He stared up in amazement at Mike and the couple standing beside him. “Holy shit,” he whispered again when he realized that the pair standing beside Mike were indeed a couple, yet no one seemed bothered by it in the slightest.

“I still can’t believe we actually fought Bowers and won that day,” Ben admitted softly. “It’s because we were all together,” Beverly said with a grin. “When we’re t-t-together, w-we r-r-really are p-p-pretty st-trong, aren’t we?” Bill asked, as he though back to their battles.

Mike nodded fondly in agreement. “We are indeed. And we can be strong enough to win again this time. I’m certain of it.” He took a moment to look each of his fellow Losers in their eyes. “And with each new memory we gain, we’re getting stronger,” he pointed out.

“And you know somewhere we can go to get those memories back?” Stan asked, recalling what Mike has said earlier. Mike shrugged. “Sort of. I know a place to start,” he clarified. The Losers all exchanged another glance with each other.

“Adrian and I are going to hold down the fort,” Don spoke up, quickly cutting through the silence before it could get awkward. “We’ll join you for the final battle, but we would only be in the way for a trip down memory lane.” Adrian nodded in agreement. “Besides, someone needs to stay here and monitor the radios. Just because you’re all here now, doesn’t mean It won’t try anything funny. Someone needs to make sure we have as much info as possible,” he added.

Adrian turned to meet Richie’s eyes for a second. That was another thing that they had discussed the night before. Richie unfortunately didn’t know the details of any kills beyond Adrian and before Eddie, but he did know about Bower’s escape and he wouldn’t be surprised if It helped him escape again.

“A-alright t-then,” Bill said solemnly. “I g-guess it’s t-time for ph-phase t-two.” “Hell yeah!” Richie added excitedly. “Lead the way Mikey!” Mike rolled his eyes affectionately at Richie, but smiled nonetheless. “Just follow me,” he replied.

—————

Ben’s eyes lit up wide when he realized what part of the woods there were in. “The clubhouse!” he cried out in delight. “I think the entrance is right around here, somewhe... ah!” Ben cried as he fell through the ground. His friends all rushed forward before hearing a muffled “found it!” Richie couldn’t help but chuckle a little. Ben really was one of the purest people alive.

The seven friends excitedly climbed down into the old clubhouse and began to explore. A moment later, Eddie had found an old paddleball ball under the floor and held it up. “Ah yes, I remember when you broke that in my face,” Stan said dryly. Eddie smiled embarrassedly. “Sorry?” he offered weakly. Stan just rolled his eyes and smiled. 

“What’s this?” Richie asked loudly. “Do my ears deceive me, or did Eddie Spaghetti actually just apologize to someone for being a little shit?” Eddie turned to Richie and bristled. “I apologize to people when they deserve it! You just never deserve it, so you never hear me apologize!” he countered.

Richie cocked an eyebrow and grinned. “So you admit you’re a little shit then?” he asked. Eddie’s “oh shut the fuck up,” blended into Beverly’s “beep, beep Richie.” Richie held up his hands in surrender, but still offered a quick wink at Eddie who quickly turned away, blushing.

“Sorry for breaking your paddleball,” Eddie then said a lot more quietly as he slid up beside Ben. Ben smiled and placed an arm around Eddie’s shoulder. “It’s all good, my friend,” he assured him. Eddie shook his head and laughed. “You really are too nice for your own good,” he teased Ben. “Especially when you’re friends with so many assholes.” The two men then laughed together. It really was amazing how easily their friendship was coming back.

The seven friends spent the next twenty minutes rediscovering their childhood memories. They laughed happily as they passed around the tin full of shower caps, forcing Stan to pull one on over his curls. “At least now I won’t get any spiders in my hair,” he declared, feeling a little silly for wearing it.

Richie then held out his hand. “I’ll take one too please,” he requested. Stan raised an eyebrow in surprise. “You never wanted to wear one before as a kid,” he pointed out. “Don’t tell me growing up has made you rational,” Stan protested.

Richie smiled weakly. “Something like that,” he replied, his hand still outstretched. Stan’s heart stirred a little as he stared at Richie’s earnest face. There wasn’t a hint of mockery on it, but there was a touch of sadness. As he placed a shower cap in Richie’s hand, Stan thought back to how his friend had come to get him to bring him back to Derry. He was doing better now than he had been then, but Stan was still grateful for Richie’s warmth and support. Although, he was pretty sure by now that there was something important Richie wasn’t yet letting on.

————

After Richie put the second shower cap on his head, it was only a matter of minutes before all seven were wearing one. It was a pretty ridiculous sight, but nobody seemed to care. 

With a mischievous grin, Richie sat down on the broken hammock lying on the ground. “Hey Eds,” he called out. “Does the ten minute rule still apply?” He wiggled his hips and grinned up at the other man.

“Nope,” Stan said quickly. “We’re not doing this today. Mike, I think we have our memories back now. Let’s move onto the next step before Richie and Eddie start trying to murder each other over a broken hammock.” Mike snorted and looked amusedly over at Richie who stared innocently back up at him.

“It does seem like you’ve recovered pretty much all the memories this place could offer to you,” Mike agreed. “Meaning t-there are st-still m-more we need to f-find,” Bill said, completing the thought. Mike nodded in agreement. 

“Unfortunately those can’t be found as a group,” he admitted. The other Losers looked at each other. “Are you sure we should be splitting up?” Ben asked nervously. Mike shifted a little. He and Richie had a pretty long discussion about this, but it was still the riskiest part of their plan.

“I want us to go in pairs,” Mike explained. “Traveling by yourself is dangerous, but these are personal memories you’ll be finding and the fewer people there, the better.” The Losers all looked at each other once more.

Richie silently slid a little closer to Eddie who looked up at him and nodded. There was no doubt in either of their minds that they were going to be a pair. “W-what about y-you?” Bill asked, realizing that Mike had distanced himself a little from the others.

“There are an odd number of us and I never lost my memories. I’ll go back to the library with Don and Adrian for now and start preparing for the final battle. In the meantime, I need each of you to go out and find a token of something significant to you. The ritual requires each of us to make a sacrifice. It doesn’t matter what that item is, as long as it has some sort of significance to you. Just be sure to be back by this evening. The sooner we can take that clown down, the better.”

“And you’re really sure this is going to work?” Eddie asked nervously. Mike nodded adamantly. “I am,” he promised. “If its us we’re talking about, then there is absolutely no doubt in my mind.”

Low murmurs of conversation filled the clubhouse and the losers began to pair off. Richie squeezed Eddie’s shoulder and turned to Stan who simply smiled at them. “Go ahead and pair off you two. I’ve seen a lot of your ugly mug lately, Richie. I could use some of Bill’s better company right now.”

Richie let out a gasp of mock hurt. “You wound me Staniel,” he said clutching at his heart. Stan simply rolled his eyes. “Just try not to murder each other while you’re alone today,” Stan warned Richie and Eddie. “The last thing we want is a clown victory because Eddie gets sick of listening to your shit and snaps.” 

The three friends let out a laugh together before Stan turned to grab Bill. He found the other man standing next to Beverly on her one side while Ben stood beside her on the other. It suddenly occurred to Stan that Bill might rather go with Beverly than him and that Beverly might prefer to go with Bill as well. The two had been exchanging glances with each other all the night before.

“Bill?” Stan said softly. He suddenly felt very small. Bill turned to face his friend and felt his heart melt a little at the look of fear in his eyes. “Want to g-go with me?” Bill offered, holding out a hand. He had been debating whether or not he should try pairing off with Beverly. On the one hand, he had recently come to remember his childhood crush on her, but on the other, he was currently married. It wasn’t really fair to Audra for him to be making moves on another woman, especially when he had run off on her so suddenly.

But now Stan was standing here and Bill remembered just how important that friendship was to him as well. Stan was one of his oldest companions and realized that he was just as happy to spend the time with him as he was with Beverly. And there was no nagging feeling of guilt with Stan.

Ben was pretty sure he could hug Stan when he asked to pair off with Bill. He looked nervously over at Beverly to see how she was taking the pairings and found her staring distractedly off into space. The entire day, Beverly had been weirdly quiet. Sure, she had joked and laughed a little with the others, but everything she said had been reactive. It was clear to Ben that her mind was currently elsewhere. He hoped that she was okay.

Seeing that everyone was now paired off, Mike turned to his friends once more and began to explain the tokens and plans in greater detail. He knew that if his and Richie’s plans were going to work, it was imperative that nothing went wrong here. He knew that relying on It to try to torment his friends was a pretty cruel plan to have, but it was the only way. Before they went back down into the Neilbolt house and fought that clown again, everyone had to face and overcome their fears. It was the only way he could hope to guarantee their safety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, now that the setup is out of the way, get Reddie for some cute bonding moments between our beloved Losers and some time finally given to Bill, Ben, and Beverly (as well as some time given to Stan not also focused on Richie). I can’t believe how long it’s take to finally give Beverly a time to shine. I love that girl to pieces and have no intentions of forgetting about her! And don’t worry about Mike, Don, and Adrian either. I have some fun stuff planned for them as well!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Look,” Ben began. “I know that we need go in there and we will soon, but there’s something I want to to talk to you about first,” he admitted. He sat down on the front step and motioned for Beverly to join him. After a moment of hesitation, she sat down as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning - there are references to abuse and some unhealthy thoughts on the part of the victim here.

After parting ways with the others, Bill and Stan walked together in silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable one, but it wasn’t necessarily comfortable either.

“It’s amazing how little this place has changed from when we were kids,” Stan spoke up, mainly just to break the silence. “It is,” Bill agreed. “It seems a lot smaller than I remember though,” Stan continued, once again trying to earn a response from Bill.

“Emptier t-too,” Bill replied. Then he winced. Stan smiled a little sadly at his friend once he realized what was happening. “I’m guessing your stutter wasn’t that bad before you got the phone call?” he asked, placing a hand on his friend’s arm.

Bill shook his head. “It’s l-like I’m a k-kid again,” he admitted. “It all f-feels so f-fresh.” Stan gently squeezed Bill’s arm. “I know what you mean. It’s like we’re waking back up from a dream, but are still groggy from it. It’s a little hard to tell what’s real and what’s fake.”

“I know wha...” Bill trailed off mid-sentence and stopped in his tracks so suddenly that Stan crashes into him. “What’s wrong?” Stan asked, suddenly on high alert. “L-look,” Bill replied, pointing at the second hand shop they were currently passing. 

“Silver,” Stan whispered, recognizing the rusty old bike. “Come on,” Bill said, suddenly grabbing Stan’s arm and dragging him into the shop. 

“Can I help you?” the old shop keeper called out as the two men rushed in and Bill dragged Stan over to the window. “Yeah. I wanna see about the b-b-b...” Bill felt himself choke on the word. “We’re interested in the old bike in your window display,” Stan explained, seeing the panic in his friend’s eyes. Bill closed his mouth and nodded silently, causing Stan to gently pat him on the shoulder.

“That so?” The shopkeeper asked. He then squinted his eyes. “Aren’t you William Denbrough, the writer?” he asked after a moment of staring. “That’s me,” Bill agreed. “That b-bike used to be mine,” he then added, causing Stan to wince.

“Well, it’s mine now,” the shopkeeper said. “But you’re the big author, if you want it, you can afford it,” he finished, leveling his gaze with Bill’s. “Now wait just a minute,” Stan protested. “Just because someone makes more money that you do, doesn’t mean they should have to pay more.” “I could always refuse to sell it,” the shopkeeper pointed out. Stan deflated a little and shut his mouth.

“How much?” Bill asked, maintaining eye contact with the shopkeeper. The man thought for a moment. “Three hundred,” he replied. Bill sighed, but refused to break eye contact. “Very well,” he agreed, opening up his wallet and ignoring Stan’s wince beside him. 

As the shopkeeper went to grab the bike, Bill noticed a copy of his own book sitting on the desk. “Want me to sign it?” he asked, holding the book up. The shopkeeper made a face. “Nah. I didn’t like the ending.” He replied, holding out his hand for the money. Bill rolled his eyes, but handed the money over.

“I don’t know how fast she’ll go,” the shopkeeper warned Bill once he had paid. “She’s been there a lot of years.” “You know what?” Bill replied. “She’s fast enough to beat the devil.” He then walked out of the store with Stan fast on his heels.

Once they’re were our of earshot and eyesight of shopkeeper, Stan stopped to apologize to Bill. “I should have warned you not to mention the bike used to be yours. I knew he would try to swindle you if he knew. But still, I didn’t expect for him to ask for a whole three hundred dollars,” he grumbled. 

Bill just shook his head and grinned. “At least she’s mine again now,” he replied. Stan cocked his head and starred at Bill. “What?” Bill asked, feeling a little self-conscious. “Your stutter,” Stan replied.

Bill winced. “Thanks for the help back there. That was rough.” Stan shook his head. “That’s not it. I mean, you’re welcome, but I’m not talking about that. Once you recovered from your initial nerves and started actually talking to the man about Silver, your stutter went away,” Stan pointed out.

Bill’s eyes widened in surprise. “You’re right,” he said softly. “I’m guessing this is more how you usually sound as an adult?” Stan ventured. “Pretty much,” Bill agreed. “I spent a lot of years in speech therapy to get this way. I wonder what changed though.”

“Motivation? Drive?” Stan guessed. “Silver was your trusty steed and you weren’t about to let her get away from you. Your stutter always faded as kids when you were driven enough. It’s like the adrenaline was enough to finally let your body catch up to your mouth.”

Bill laughed a little at Stan’s assessment and grinned. “Hop on,” he informed his friend. “She’s fit two people before, she can do it again.” Stan stared at Bill in horror for a moment as he thought about the almost certainty that the old bike would fall apart under their combined weight. He then shook his head and hopped on behind his friend. If a determined Bill had power over his body like that, maybe he could claim power over a rusty old bike as well.

————

Ben followed a few steps behind Beverly as they walked up to her childhood apartment. He wanted to say something, to let her know that he was there for her, but he wasn’t sure what. There was so much he wanted to talk to her about and so little he felt comfortable actually saying.

He was currently toying with the idea of bringing up the mark on Beverly’s cheek. Although her makeup did a pretty good job of hiding it, Ben had still noticed the faint discoloration and was worried. It was an uncomfortably familiar sight, yet one that usually went undiscussed. 

Last time Ben had these thoughts, he had just been a powerless kid. They all knew that Beverly’s dad was awful, but none of them felt like they had any ability to help her. But Ben wasn’t a kid anymore and that bruise hadn’t come from Bev’s father. Surely Ben would be able to do something the help her now.

And then there was the quiet that had befallen Beverly. She had briefly come to life while they were in the Chinese restaurant, but ever since that morning, she had been weirdly distracted and distant. Ben wasn’t sure if he could help Beverly with that one even now, but he wanted to at least try.

So just as Beverly was about to open the door, Ben put a hand on her shoulder and stopped her. “Everything okay?” Beverly asked as she turned around to face Ben. “Maybe,” he replied. He took a deep breath.

“Look,” Ben began. “I know that we need go in there and we will soon, but there’s something I want to to talk to you about first,” he admitted. He sat down on the front step and motioned for Beverly to join him. After a moment of hesitation, she sat down as well.

“Well, I guess I lied,” Ben admitted once they were situated. “There are actually two things I wanted to talk to you about.” He gently brushed a finger against the bruise on Beverly’s cheek.

“Sad, isn’t it,” she mumbled when she felt his touch. “I spent my whole childhood dreaming of escaping that man’s clutches, only to marry someone just like him. It’s like I never learned anything at all.”

“It’s hard to learn when all the lessons are ripped away from you,” Ben replied gently. “Besides, you shouldn’t have to learn anything. You are not responsible for their actions and you shouldn’t have to protect yourself from the people who are supposed to love you.”

Beverly stared down at her lap, adamantly refusing to meet Ben’s eyes. “I still stood by and let it happen. I should have left him so much sooner. I always told myself I was tough and could take care of myself, but I couldn’t even walk away when I knew things were wrong. It took a call from Mike and a ton of repressed childhood memories for me to even try to leave. And even now, I don’t know what I’ll do when we part ways. I don’t want to go back to Tom, but I’m not sure what else is out there for me. I’ve left my entire life behind,” Beverly admitted.

“You are strong,” Ben argued. “And you did escape. And it sounds like you did it all by yourself. And you don’t ever need to worry about your future. You’re smart and talented and I know you’ll land back on your feet. But until then, you are always welcome at my place. Hell, even after you find yourself again, you will always be welcome. You aren’t alone, Bev, and you never will be again.”

Beverly pulled her legs tight into her chest and rested her head atop her knees. “You always had a way with words,” she said softly. She smiled weakly up at Ben. “You said there were two things you wanted to talk to me about,” she then reminded him, effectively changing the subject and signifying that the conversation was over. 

“Oh. Yeah,” Ben mumbled. “It might actually be the same thing, I’m not sure. I was just worried because you seemed awfully quiet and distracted. You were okay last night, but ever since we parted ways that evening, you’ve seemed out of it.”

Beverly stared quietly at Ben for a moment. “I didn’t want to worry anyone, so I didn’t bring it up earlier, but I guess if you’re already worried, I might as well tell you,” she eventually decided. Ben gulped, but gently squeezed Bev’s shoulder. “I’m all ears,” he promised.

“I have nightmares,” Beverly explained. “Really bad ones. They were getting progressively worse in the days leading up to Mike’s call. That’s actually the reason for this bruise. I kept waking Tom up with my screaming.” Ben stifled an urge to demand to know where Tom was so he could beat the shit out of the other man. What sort of a person hurt someone over a nightmare?

“Anyways,” Beverly continued. “After I got the phone call, I finally realized what my nightmares were. They were all of us dying. Night after night, I watched us all die in horrible ways. And on the night right before Mike called, I dreamed of Stan. He looked the same as he does now when he died. The rest of us looked a little older, but Stan looked just like he does now. I didn’t really think about it at first, but then I saw the fortune cookie.”

Beverly paused a moment to take a ragged breath. “Richie tried to get us to not open our cookies, but by the time I realized what was happening, it was too late. I left mine on the table along with the rest of yours, but I saw my fortune. It simply said “Stan” on it. I don’t know what it means, but I’m scared.”

Beverly looked weakly up at Ben, tears welling up in her eyes. “I’m afraid that something bad is going to happen to him. Or worse, something bad has already happened to him. Something seems off about his presence here and I can’t quite place what it is, but I’m worried. He doesn’t seem malicious, but what if It is somehow messing with us? What if Stanley is already d-” Beverly cut herself off. 

“Something just seems off. I thought my nightmares were just our possible deaths if we didn’t defeat that monster fast enough, but what if I’m wrong? I feel like It is messing with my head and I can barely keep my thoughts straight anymore. I want answers, but I’m too scared to ask the questions. Do you know what I mean?”

Ben nodded gravely. He knew exactly what she meant. Sure, his question was a lot less important than hers were, but Ben knew the fear just the same. “I’m afraid I don’t have the answers for you,” he admitted. “I wish I could help fix everything for you, but the best I can do is offer you my support and a promise that it will always be there. I’m sure it’s not what you were hoping to hear.”

Beverly sighed and looked down at the thin band of pale skin where her ring used to be. “I want to be that strong person I told myself I was. I want to be that cool girl you guys always seemed to think that I was. I want to say that I’m not afraid to open that door and go back to my childhood home, but that’s a lie.”

“You’re allowed to be afraid,” Ben insisted. “And nobody expects you to be perfect. I’m probably the worst culprit for idol worship when it came to you and even I knew you were only human,” he admitted. 

Beverly smiled as a she felt a slight hint of warmth spread across her face. “I thought the only idols you worshiped were The New Kids on the Block,” she teased gently. Ben let out a happy laugh. “They were my jam back then,” he admitted. “They still are if I’m being honest. Jordan, Jonathan, Joey, Donnie, and Danny got me through a lot of lonely nights.”

Beverly smiled up at Ben. “Well, you don’t need to spend those lonely nights with your boys any longer. Your offer to me stands from me to you as well. You don’t ever have to feel alone either.” The two stared warmly at each other for a moment. Ben could feel his lips twitching with the desire to lean in and kiss Beverly, but he held back. He had just been trying to support her through confusion and abusive relationships. The last thing she needed was another guy forcing her into unpleasant or confusing situations.

“Are you ready to head inside now?” Beverly eventually asked, looking away. “I am,” Ben agreed. “Are you?” Beverly took a deep breath then stood up and squared up her shoulders. “As I’ll ever be,” she informed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s token hunting time! I wish it was pairs in the actual movie. There’s just so much potential for emotional/cute moments when they are together instead of each on their own!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Eddie knew it was ridiculous to view his current situation as fun. He was trying to dredge up repressed memories in an attempt to fight an evil murder-clown for god’s sake, yet he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. It just felt so good to be spending this time with Richie again after so long apart.”

“Ladies first,” Richie joked as he held the pharmacy door open for Eddie. Eddie rolled his eyes, but walked in ahead anyways. “I’d rather be a woman, than a sad old man like you,” he grumbled as he passed by Richie. “Atta-boy Eds. Hit me right in the sensitive spots,” Richie replied, throwing an arm around his companion and attempting to pull him in for a nuggie.

“I take it back,” Eddie declared as he shoved Richie off him. “You might look like a sad old man, but you’re actually still an immature child.” He then smiled up at a pouting Richie and gently fixed his collar. “Aww. It’s okay. You might be a sad, old man-child, but you’re the nicest, most handsome sad, old man-child I’ve ever seen,” Eddie assured Richie, remembering their conversation from the night before about Richie’s confidence.

Richie let out a surprised and amused snort and felt his face heat up. “Well that’s probably the first time anyone has ever uttered that sentence, but thanks Eds. Glad to know somebody appreciates this dad-bod of mine!” Eddie giggled and grinned. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so happy.

Eddie knew it was ridiculous to view his current situation as fun. He was trying to dredge up repressed memories in an attempt to fight an evil murder-clown for god’s sake, yet he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. It just felt so good to be spending this time with Richie again after so long apart.

Eddie couldn’t quite remember where in the pharmacy he needed to go to regain his memories, but he was certain this was the right place. He wandered a little aimlessly through the aisles, wondering if he would recognize whatever he was looking for once he saw it.

A second later, Eddie nearly jumped out of his skin when circus music began to play. He spun around in high alert, only to find Richie standing there holding a musical card with a picture of a clown on the front. 

“I swear to god, Richard Tozier,” Eddie hissed, grabbing the card and whacking Richie with it. “Are you trying to murder me?” he demanded. Richie grinned dopily back at him. “Why of course not good sir. I’m simply trying to lighten up the mood here and bring a spark of joy into your heart,” Richie drawled in what Eddie assumed was an attempt at a southern belle accent.

Eddie whacked Richie on the arm with the card again before returning it to its slot. “I swear that you and that Trashmouth of yours are going to be the death of me,” Eddie grumbled, pulling Richie away from the cards before he could open another one and reek any more havoc.

Richie followed along for a second before suddenly stopping short. “Eds, look!” he cried, his voice filled with excitement. “This better not be something st...” Eddie trailed off when he saw what Richie was pointing at. “To keep your glasses from falling off!” He exclaimed excitedly. Richie nodded, practically bouncing with joy.

Eddie quickly grabbed a package from the shelf. “This is perfect, Rich!” He grinned at the other man. “Now I can actually start worrying about my own safety instead of constantly freaking out about your vision!”

Richie nudged Eddie affectionately. “What? Were my poor old eyes your number one priority?” he asked jokingly. “Yeah,” Eddie replied seriously, catching Richie off guard. “The thought of you being unable to defend yourself is terrifying. Fortunately none of the other Losers have shitty vision like yours, but even one person who needs my constant attention is scary. I feel a lot safer knowing that I can let you out of my sight for a second and not fear turning back around to find you dead. Well, I mean I guess it could-“

“Woah there, Eds. Let’s calm down on the whole me dying thing for now, okay?” Richie said putting his hands up with an uncomfortable laugh. “Sorry,” Eddie apologized, blushing. “I’m just worried about your blind ass, you know?”

Richie threw an arm back around Eddie’s shoulder and pulled him in close. “I know Eds. I worry about your short ass too,” he assured Eddie who promptly stomped on his foot. “Asshole,” Eddie grumbled as Richie released him to nurse his injured foot. He then locked his arm into Richie’s. “Five foot nine is a perfectly average height. You’re just a giant. Now come on. Let’s see if the pharmacy counter has what I’m looking for. If your foot still hurts later and you’re well behaved, I might just give it a massage,” he offered with a smile.

Eddie could practically feel Richie vibrate with joy beside him. It was so sickeningly domestic to be joking around with someone in a pharmacy over singing cards and stupid jokes, but it was surprisingly nice. Domesticity like this was never something Eddie had, or particularly wanted, with Myra.

“Myra,” Eddie thought absently. Myra Kaspbrak, the supposed love of his life. Eddie wasn’t sure if he had ever actually deluded himself into thinking that he loved Myra. Well, he guessed he loved her in some sort of way. He loved the feeling of safety and security she provided for him, the sense of normalcy she leant to his life. He just didn’t love the woman herself.

Eddie knew that wasn’t really fair to Myra. In her own, smothering way, she was only trying to look out for him. Yet there had always been a nagging voice at the back of Eddie’s mind telling him that was wrong. 

Coming back to Derry and talking to Richie had given Eddie back his memories of his fight with his mom. Her “love” for him had been a similar type of smothering to Myra’s. And oh what a sick joke that was. After so many years of Richie’s “sex-with-your-mom” jokes, it turned out that Eddie was the real mother fucker. 

Eddie thought back to Richie’s comments to him when he first learned that Eddie had gotten married. Eddie had been so sure that Richie was going to make some sort of stupid joke, but instead he had earnestly complimented and congratulated him. It was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever said to Eddie about his marriage.

As Eddie and Richie walked towards the counter at the back of the store, Eddie let his mind wander to the warmth of Richie’s arm against his. It brought back happy memories and left a stirring in his heart that Myra had never managed to create. It was crazy how an old friendship could leave Eddie feeling so much more love than his actual marriage. So crazy in fact that maybe... Eddie shook his head to get the thought out of his mind. He was straight and married and Richie was straight as well. There was no use thinking about those sort of things.

“I have a prescription for Edward Kaspbrak,” Eddie said once he approached the counter. “I called it in yesterday,” he continued as the man behind the counter started to look for it. “Kaspbrak, Kaspbrak,” the man muttered under his breath as he looked for the prescription. 

“You’re Sonia’s boy, aren’t you?” the man asked as he handed Eddie a little paper baggy. “That’s me,” Eddie agreed. “How is she?” the man, Mr. Keene, Eddie realized, continued. “Well, she’s been dead for a few years now,” Eddie admitted. Mr. Keene said nothing in response, instead staring intently at Eddie for a moment.

“What’s that?” he asked, sticking his fingers way to close to Eddie’s face. “It’s a mole,” Eddie replied, recoiling a little. “Well, it might not be cancerous,” Mr. Keene continued. “Of fucking course it’s not fucking cancerous,” Richie snapped, batting the man’s hand away. He was silently seething. Did Eddie seriously have to put up with shit like this last time? How dare this man try to scare him like that!

Mr. Keene reluctantly pulled his hand away. “If you want to chance it,” he said, turning back to his work. “If you want to chance it,” Richie grumbled after him in a mocking tone. Eddie giggled and lightly swatted at Richie. “Come on Rich. I think I know where we need to go now. Let’s get a move on before you and Mr. Keene start trying to kill each other.”

Richie nodded. Despite Eddie’s light tone and smile, Richie could see fear in the other man’s eyes. “Lead the way Spaghetti Head,” he said with a sweep of his hand. Eddie’s eyes rolled at the name, but some of their fear disappeared.

Richie followed a couple steps behind Eddie as they descended into the basement. “Jesus Eds, you went down here as a kid?” Richie asked, looking around and shuddering. “Yeah. It was way worse back then,” Eddie admitted. “There were needles and bags of unknown fluids just lying around back then. Stuff of nightmares, you know?”

Richie laughed. “Throw your mom in there, and it really is the most horrifying sight the world has ever seen,” he joked, trying to ease the tension building up in his shoulders. “My mom,” Eddie whispered. “Um, yeah. You know. ‘Cause she’s terrifying?” Richie offered uncertainly, confused by Eddie’s reaction.

“The curtain,” Eddie continued, ignoring Richie. “Why is the curtain still there?” he asked weakly. “Eds?” Richie squeaked. 

Eddie reached forward to pull the curtain back, but Richie grabbed his hand and stopped him before he could. “What’s going on here?” Richie asked gently. The warmth in his tone caused Eddie to tear up. “I remember what happened here last time,” he admitted. “The leper. My mom. It... it...” Eddie trailed off and bit back a sob.

“Oh shit,” Richie muttered. Well, so much for the usefulness of his stupid mom joke. Richie felt his heart rate rapidly increase. This was it, wasn’t it? This was where Eddie had faced the leper again last time. 

“Do you want me to open the curtain for you?” Richie asked. Eddie thought for a moment before shaking his head. “Whatever’s behind there, it’s my battle to fight. Just having you here with me is enough.” Richie bit his lip, but nodded. “Okay, Eds,” he agreed. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Eddie took a deep breath then yanked the curtain back violently to reveal... nothing. He and Richie turned to each other in confusion, certain that something would be waiting for them. And then Richie felt something grab him from behind. He let out a loud scream and began to flail, trying to break free of the monster. 

At the sound of Richie’s scream, Eddie froze up in fear. He remembered everything now. He remembered his mom’s desperate pleas as she begged for him to free her and her desperate screams as he ran away without her. He had been such a coward last time, but how could he be brave when the embodiment of everything he feared was right in front of him?

The leper grabbed at Richie, its tongue stretched out as it attempted to kiss the other man. But Richie was stronger than Eddie’s mom and he was putting up a much fiercer fight. Enough so that, for a few moments, Eddie thought Richie wouldn’t need any help. And then the leper threw up.

But even as the disgusting black sludge spewed out at him, Richie continued to squeeze at the leper’s throat and scream insults. This was the monster that had tormented and murdered Eddie. There was no way in hell he was ever going to just let go.

Only, lost in his anger and blinded by the sludge, Richie failed to see the monster’s hand transforming and growing claws. Eddie watched for a second, transfixed in horror as he recalled It growing claws in preparation to tear into him back in the Neilbolt house. If it was not for his friends back then, Eddie would surely have died.

And now Eddie either had to repay the favor or lose the person he cared for most. With a shaking hand, Eddie grabbed a small knife off the nearby table. It was probably only used for cutting pills into smaller dosages, but it would do. 

Eddie screamed as he plunged the knife into the leper’s face, feeling a deep sense of satisfaction as the creature switched targets and swiped at him instead.

The claws painfully tore at Eddie’s chest, drawing a four thin lines of blood, but Eddie didn’t notice. “Leave him alone you bastard!” he screamed, pulling the knife out and stabbing it back in. The leper let out an angry hiss before suddenly melting out of Richie’s grasp into a puddle of black sludge. 

Shocked by the sudden transformation, both men jumped back, only realizing too late that the leper sludge was quickly oozing away. 

“Fuck,” Richie hissed as he shook some of the vomit off his body and watched the monster escape. He had been so close, but he supposed it just wasn’t possible without all of them there.

“Richie!” Eddie cried, rushing over to his friend. “Oh my god, are you okay? For a second I thought it was going to kill you! Oh my god, I almost didn’t save you in time! I froze up and I-“

“You’re bleeding!” Richie suddenly cried, turning around and noticing Eddie’s chest. Eddie looked down and realized in surprise that Richie was right. He panickedly yanked his shirt up then breathed a sigh of relief.

Beside him, Richie collapsed to the ground and began to sob. “Hey!” Eddie cried, kneeling down beside him. “It’s okay, Rich. We’re okay. You saved us, you know that?” Richie only sobbed louder. “I thought... I thought...” He grabbed Eddie by the waist and pulled him in close, careful to keep his filthy face down lower than Eddie’s cuts.

“Shh. It’s okay,” Eddie assured him, ignoring the filth in Richie’s hair as he ran a hand through it. “They’re just scratches,” he promised. “We’re in a pharmacy right now. We can clean them up and bandage them up no problem and I’ll be good as new. It’s okay, Rich.”

Richie only squeezed tighter. He was glad that Eddie was okay, but he was also terrified. Last time, Eddie hadn’t gotten hurt when fighting the leper. Richie had been so excited by his results with Stan and Adrian, but what if it still wasn’t enough to save Eddie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, apparently even in pairs the token hunt is still going to be a lengthy expedition (mainly since everyone still needs to deal with their own personal trauma), but hopefully it will be more fun (and romantic) this time around!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And now It was back and Bill was going to have to face his brother’s murder once more. It was such a horrible situation to be stuck in, but what other choice did they have? If they did nothing, more people would die, and Bill would never stand for that.”

Adrian drummed his fingers impatiently on Mike’s kitchen table. He knew that he and Don did technically have a real job, but it didn’t make it any less boring. The others were all out there actively facing the clown while he was trapped in Mike’s stuffy apartment listening to a crackling police radio.

Adrian knew that it wasn’t really fair to complain. His body was still sore from the beating he had taken a couple days before and his left eye was still swollen shut. And while Don looked to be in better shape, he still had some nasty bruises on his chest as well.

Honestly, Adrian knew he should be grateful that Mike was even letting him and Don be a part of this at all. They weren’t part of the original seven and there was no reason why Mike had to let them help. Hell, there was no reason why Mike had to save them in the first place, yet maybe that was why Adrian was so restless. He owed his life to Mike and he’d be damned if he didn’t at least help to protect him in return.

So Adrian couldn’t help but feel at least a slight amount of joy when he heard the words “escaped mental patient” mentioned on the radio. Of course, he felt bad that people had surely died in the escape, but he was mainly just glad that was the attack It had decided to carry out once more. He just couldn’t stand the thought of an innocent child being slaughtered. 

Not to mention the fact that he and Don now had a real job. This was the man who had once tried to hurt Mike and his friends. If there was ever going to be a chance for him and Don to return the favor to Mike, this was it.

—————

Ben and Beverly turned to face the apartment building and blinked in confusion. “Am I going crazy or was this building still in use a minute ago?” Beverly asked nervously. “I thought so too,” Ben agreed. They stared in awe up at the abandoned building in front of them.

“Do we still need to go in there?” Ben asked uncertainly. Beverly nodded. “We do,” she declared. She squared up her shoulders once more. “This is where my token is. I’m certain of it.”

The apartment complex looked as deserted on the inside as it did on the outside. It smelled abandoned too. The two friends navigated the moldy halls together until they came across Beverly’s old place. With baited breath, Beverly pressed on the door, recoiling quickly when it swung open. 

The inside of the apartment looked like it had once belonged to an old lady, but there was no sign of the woman now. The entire place was filled with cobwebs and it looked like all her belongings had simply been abandoned there. 

The smell inside the apartment was even worse than it was in the hallway, but the two friends pressed on with Beverly taking the lead and Ben following close behind, brandishing an umbrella he had picked up from beside the door.

The two silently made their way into Beverly’s old room which looked like it had been turned into a sewing room at one point. Once inside, Beverly knelt down on the ground and inspected the wall for a second before suddenly prying off a piece of the molding and throwing it aside.

She jumped back as a plethora of bugs scuttled their way out of the wall, but then took a deep breath and plunged her hand into the hole and came back with a plastic bag filled with a tampon and a postcard. She quickly pulled the postcard out of the bag, and held it up to read it.

But before she could finish the first line, she and Ben heard a strange noise. The two exchanged a nervous glance with each other and Beverly quickly stuffed the postcard into her pocket and stood up.

She and Ben started towards the door to get the hell out of there, but before they could move more than a single step, they heard the noise again. It was clearly footsteps and it sounded like they were coming closer.

Ben nervously brandished the umbrella in front of him and motioned for Beverly to get behind him. A second later the rotting corpse of an old woman came charging into the room. Both Ben and Beverly let out a scream and Ben popped the umbrella open, using it as a shield against the oncoming attack.

With a hard shove, he pushed the zombie woman away and grabbed Beverly and began to run. As the woman got back off the ground, Beverly grabbed the umbrella from Ben and yanked it shut before using it like a baseball bat. There was a sickening thud as the umbrella made contact with the squishy flesh of the woman’s head, knocking it clear off her body.

The headless corpse continued to run after the pair, sending Ben an unpleasant flashback of that time in the library. Seeing that the body was still coming at them, Ben picked a book up off of one of the broken shelves and threw it at the corpse’s torso. It knock the body to the ground and gave Ben and Beverly enough time to run out the door and slam it behind them.

The pair continued to run until they were outside once more and at least a block away from the apartment complex. Only then did they feel safe enough to stop and catch their breaths.

“Glad I’m not fat anymore or that run would have killed me,” Ben gasped as he attempted to refill his lungs. For her part, Beverly remained silent, but quickly ripped the postcard out of her pocket and began to read it. Once the had read the words a few times over, she pulled it in close to her chest and waited for her heart rate to slow back down. 

————

Stan wasn’t sure if he wanted to sing Silver’s praises for the way that she made Bill laugh as they rode along, or violently murder her for the way that she made his stomach flip at every little bump in the rode. Stan was almost certain now that the only thing keeping them upright right now was Bill’s sheer joy and determination.

But it was nice to see Bill so happy. Stan knew that this whole situation was probably hitting Bill a lot harder than it was the others. Sure, they all had their fears and pains, but none of the rest of them had actually lost somebody they loved to that monster. 

Stan remembered just how determined Bill had been to find Georgie. He swore up and down that his brother was still alive up until the very end. And Stan was sure that finding Georgie’s coat must have really broken Bill. He always acted like he was fine, but he also never talked about it. And Stan has always been too afraid himself to ever bring it up.

And now It was back and Bill was going to have to face his brother’s murder once more. It was such a horrible situation to be stuck in, but what other choice did they have? If they did nothing, more people would die, and Bill would never stand for that.

Lost in his thoughts, Stan didn’t notice that Bill had slowed down considerably until another jolt in the road sent him flying as the bike capsized.

Stan blinked in confusion for a second before quickly scrambling to his feet and rushing over to Bill who was still lying on the ground. “Are you okay?” Stan asked, concerned. “It w-was t-this one. I’m sh-sh-sure of it. Th-this was where he was k-k-killed,” Bill replied, not bothering to look up from whatever he was staring at.

Stan’s eyes followed Bill’s and he felt his stomach churn far worse than when he was on Silver. “How do you know?” he asked quietly. “I just do,” Bill replied. “It’s l-like it’s c-calling to me.”

As if in a trance, Bill slowly got to his feet and walked over to the sewer. “I know you’re down there you stupid clown!” he screamed, kneeling down in front of the sewer drain. “I know you’re listening to me! Give him back, you monster! Give my brother back!”

Bill stared angrily at the drain, but received no response. “I said give him back!” he screamed again, his face now inches away from the drain. “Bill,” Stan said nervously, but Bill didn’t seem to hear him. “Just give me my brother back,” Bill pleaded once more.

“Billy?” a soft voice then said. “Georgie?” Bill gasped in shock and joy. “Billy, I’m cold,” the voice replied. “Georgie!” Bill cried out again. “Just hang on! I’ll get you!” “Billy, I’m scared,” Georgie’s voice said again. Then a child’s hand appeared, his arm adorned in a yellow raincoat.

“It’s okay, Georgie. I’ve got you,” Bill replied, suddenly reaching his arm into the sewer. “Bill!” Stan screamed, lunging forward and grabbing his friend. “Let me go!” Bill screamed, trying to wrestle his way out of his friend’s grasp and reach deeper into the sewer. 

“Billy!” Georgie’s desperate voice called out again. “I need to get to him!” Bill pleaded. “It’s Georgie, Stan! I need to save him!”

“It’s not Georgie!” Stan protested, his arms wrapped tightly around Bill. “Billy!” Georgie’s voice called out again, as if in response to Stan. “That’s not Georgie!” Stan screamed even louder. “It’s been twenty seven years, Bill. Even if Georgie was still alive, he wouldn’t still be a kid!”

Bill faltered for a second. What Stan was saying made sense, but still. Georgie was calling out to him. His brother he had failed to protect was begging for him. How could he just ignore him?

“Georgie,” Bill sobbed. “Georgie.” His hand wavered, unsure if he should pull it out or plunge it in deeper. “Billy,” Georgie’s voice pleaded one more. It sounded so sad. “Please don’t abandon me again,” it begged. 

Something inside of Bill snapped. “I won’t,” he swore. Then he plunged his arm down deeper. And for a second he was rewarded with the warmth of a child’s hand grabbing onto his. “Georgie!” he cried in delight. He began to pull up to lift his brother to safety. 

But then he suddenly felt a sharp jerk on his arm. “Georgie?” he whimpered. From outside the sewer, Stan wrapped his arms tighter around Bill and braced himself for the tug of war he knew was about to go down. 

“Billy!” the voice said again, only this time something sounded off about it. “It’s too late now, Billy. Stan’s right. You left me for twenty seven years, Billy. You abandoned me! I was waiting here all alone for you, but you abandoned me!”

The voice was horribly distorted now, sounding more like a demon than a child. “Or maybe you just didn’t want me around anymore. I mean, you didn’t want me then, did you? Poor little Billy. So sick he couldn’t play with me. But you weren’t sick, were you? No! You weren’t sick, Billy! You weren’t! You lied, Billy! You lied and I died!”

The voice was shrieking now, it’s every word like a knife to the ears. “You lied and I died! You lied and I died!” The voiced repeated those words over and over again. Bill tried to pull his arm away, but the hand holding his held fast. It no longer felt like a child’s hand. In fact, it no longer felt like a hand at all. Instead, it was now a tentacle, tightly wrapping itself around Bill’s arm.

“You lied and I died! You lied and I died!” the voice shrieked on. “You lied and I died! You li-“ “Shut up!” Stan screamed. “Just shut up! You’re not Georgie! You don’t know anything about Georgie! And you don’t know anything about Bill! Bill never abandoned Georgie! Never! He was the best big brother there ever was! How dare you talk to him like that?”

Stan was shaking violently, but he held on tight to Bill even as he felt his friend being yanked out of his grasp. He would sooner be dragged down with Bill than let his friend get ripped away from him.

“But I did!” Bill protested so violently that Stan nearly let go. “Did what?” Stan asked, quickly tightening his grip once more. 

“I abandoned him! I wasn’t there for him! He died because I wasn’t there for him! Because I didn’t feel like playing with him! I told him I was sick, but I wasn’t! I wasn’t sick, Stan! I just didn’t want to play with him! I didn’t want to spend time with him then he died! It’s all my fault! It’s all my-“

Bill’s words were cut off as the tentacle yanked harder on him. “Just let me go, Stan. If you keep holding onto me, you’ll be dragged down too. That’s all I ever do. I dragged you guys into danger because I failed to protect Georgie. You almost died because of me. Please, Stan. Let me go. I can’t keep dragging you down!”

Bill was sobbing now. His arm felt like it was being ripped off his body, but he didn’t care. This was all his fault. He couldn’t keep dragging everyone down with him. He wouldn’t.

“Then let me pull you back up!” Stan countered, shocking Bill. “You’re not dragging me down, Bill. You’ve never dragged any of us down. I followed you into the sewers because I wanted to be there with you, not because you forced me to be there! None of what happened last time was your fault! None of it! And none of us blame you for any of it!”

“But I...“ Bill began, but trailed off. But he what? “But Georgie,” he protested. The tentacle gave another painful yank to his arm. “Georgie’s death wasn’t your fault either,” Stan objected. “So you didn’t want to go play in the rain with him that one day. Tell me, why did he even want to play with you in the first place?” Stan asked.

“Well, we used to play all the time,” Bill explained. “Georgie looked up to me. He loved being with me and I abandoned him that day!” Bill started to sob again.

“He adored you because you were such a good brother,” Stan protested. “He loved being with you because you were always there for him. So what if you didn’t want to play with him one day? Do you think that makes you a bad brother?”

Bill’s heart stopped for a second. Stan was right. Georgie loved him because they were so close. It wasn’t like he constantly neglected Georgie. He just didn’t feel like running around in the rain that day. And it wasn’t even like he told Georgie to get lost. They made the boat together, didn’t they? Georgie ran outside feeling happy and loved. How was Bill ever supposed to know it would be unsafe for him?

“You abandoned me!” the voice called out again, once more sounding like Georgie. “You let me go out and die,” it accused Bill. But this time, Bill just shook his head. “No,” he whispered. “I never abandoned Georgie. I loved him. I still love him. That’s why I walked directly into such an obvious trap and you know that. And he knew that I loved him. And if I had known what was going to happen, I never would have let him outside. But I didn’t know. I couldn’t have know. No. I didn’t kill Georgie, you did!” Bill screamed, suddenly jerking his arm back.

As Bill slowly came to terms with the truth, the tentacle’s hold on his arm began to weaken. And now, with the sudden jerk, it came free. With his resistance suddenly gone, Stan’s tugging swiftly pulled Bill completely out of the sewer, sending the two men tumbling backwards.

They both quickly scrambled to their feet and ran back over to Silver, but found nothing reaching out of the sewer for them. Bill’s arm throbbed painfully and he suspected that he had injured his shoulder in the fight, but he didn’t care.

In his hand, he now held a small paper boat. “She really was a fine boat,” he whispered to himself before sinking on the ground and beginning to sob. A second later, Stan sat down beside him. 

“Everything you said at the end there was right,” Stan assured Bill. “There was no way you could have known. It’s not your fault, Bill. You really were the best brother anyone could ever ask for.” Bill smiled sadly, yet gratefully up at Stan. “I know,” he agreed. “I just really miss him.”

“Oh, Bill,” Stan said gently, wrapping his arms around his friend. Bill rested his face against Stan’s chest and began to sob. After spending so many years full of blame and self-hatred, it well weird to finally let go. But It was right about one thing. It had been twenty seven years since that day. He couldn’t keep dwelling so painfully in the past. There was no way that was what Georgie would have wanted for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just a couple quick notes for clarity. 
> 
> 1) Beverly made a start towards overcoming her fears before entering her old apartment this time, so It’s power over her isn’t as strong anymore. Therefore the illusion of the building is broken and what she and Ben see there is closer to what was actually happening.
> 
> 2) Stan might have his suspicions that Richie knows more than he is letting on, but as far as he knows, Bill is the only one who had to deal with the death of a loved one at It’s hands.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mike was almost back to the library when the car pulled out in front of him. He just barely managed to jump out of the way, tumbling to the ground and rolling. A sick sense of horror twisted in his stomach as he saw the car backing up and preparing to charge at him once more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Bowers is a racist asshole (but we knew that). I censored the slurs here since I am not black and I don’t really feel comfortable using that word even in writing. I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do here, but I figured better safe than sorry.
> 
> On a lighter note, I feel like my chapters are getting increasingly longer as this story goes on, but oh well. It’s hard to figure out where to break up each pair’s journey and change it out with another one’s.

Richie knew that time was of the essence, but he didn’t let them leave the pharmacy until Eddie’s wounds were cleaned, medicated, and bandaged. He was relieved to see that Eddie was right and that they really were only scratches, but it still left him shaken.

A small part of Richie wondered if maybe he was only making things worse by sticking so close to Eddie. Eddie had died last time saving him and he was only creating more opportunities for a similar death now.

Only Richie also understood how important it was to let Eddie find the courage he didn’t realize he had. Saving Eddie was of course Richie’s top priority, but if he saved him at the the expense of his happiness, was Richie really saving him at all? The last thing Richie ever wanted to do was treat Eddie like the delicate glass boy his mom, and most likely wife, always acted like he was.

So once Eddie’s cuts were properly bandaged, Richie reluctantly admitted to Eddie that they should probably continue their search. “You have your token now Eds?” he asked, knowing full well that Eddie did, but not willing just yet to admit to the time travel.

Eddie nodded grimly and shook his prescription bag. “I’ve got to assume it’s this,” he explained. “My useless medication for an illness I don’t have. I’m sure there’s some sort of metaphor in there somewhere.”

Richie blanched at Eddie’s words, not daring to admit how right he was. A placebo token made from a placebo medicine. The irony was not lost on Richie.

“Clearly you don’t need it,” Richie said, pushing his other thoughts down. “There’s no way a little badass like yourself could ever be sickly or weak. You literally saved my life down there. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

Eddie let out a quiet sniffle and stared intently at the ground. “It’s my fault that you were even here in the first place,” he argued. “You’re right,” Richie agreed, surprising Eddie with his willingness to assign blame. “And it will be my fault when we go in search of my token and inevitably have to face some other horror. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to tell you to stay back and let me do it alone. But I know we’re better off together and I know that you would never let me face a battle alone. So assume the same thing about me now. I’m here because I chose to be. It’s your fault it was this location, but my fault it happened. So don’t worry about it.”

Eddie let out another sniffle, but this time his face was filled with shock and gratitude. “You really want me to stay by your side?” he asked hopefully. “There’s no one else I would rather be with,” Richie promised.

Eddie wiped his eyes and smiled. “Thanks, Rich. There’s no one I’d rather be with either. Are you ready to face the trauma of your past?” he asked kindly. Richie gulped and nodded. The night before, he had promised himself he would be brave and now was his chance. He was still terrified he was doing the wrong thing, but wavering wasn’t going to help anybody. Besides, if he was forcing everyone else to face their fears, wasn’t it time he faced his as well?

—————

Adrian cursed when Mike’s phone went into voicemail. Mike had been very clear that he and Don should call him if they heard any sort of news while he was gone. If he wasn’t picking up right now, then something must have happened, right?

Adrian exchanged a look with Don. They knew that they were supposed to stay back and wait, but their friend was in danger right now. Unlike the clown, Bowers didn’t need to cultivate fear before killing. If he ran into Mike, it would be a battle to the death.

————

Mike was almost back to the library when the car pulled out in front of him. He just barely managed to jump out of the way, tumbling to the ground and rolling. A sick sense of horror twisted in his stomach as he saw the car backing up and preparing to charge at him once more.

Mike took off running, racing down the street and trying to take the corners sharp enough that the car couldn’t follow. He figured it probably would have worked had the man behind the wheel been sane, but he was pretty sure he knew exactly who was driving the car, and that man certainly was not.

Sure enough, as Mike rounded a corner, he could hear a familiar voice shouting slurs and insults at him. It had been a long time since Mike had heard Henry Bowers speak, but somehow the man had not changed at all.

And now his car was bearing fast down upon him. Without paying any mind to where he was going, Mike quickly turned another corner and found himself standing in a narrow, dead end alley.

He ran up to the door in the back and tried to open it, but found it securely locked. A second later he heard a loud crash as the car attempted to drive into the alley, and slammed directly into the dumpsters. For a second, Mike hoped that Bowers would give up after the crash, but his heart sank when the other man smashed his way out of the broken windshield and climbed out of the car to face him.

“Look what we have here,” Bowers snarled, his hand dripping blood from smashing through the broken windshield. Mike looked desperately around for something he could use as a weapon and cursed his stupidity for not bringing a gun or something with him in the first place.

“If it isn’t Derry’s least favorite ni**er, all by himself,” Bowers continued, his voice dripping with hatred. “No little friends here to save you this time?” Bowers’ eyes gleamed with madness as he slowly stepped closer to Mike, his knife brandished. “Looks like you’re all alone!” Bowers cackled. Then he lunged forward.

Having seen the attack coming, Mike managed to dodge just in time and get a good punch into Bowers’ gut at the same time. Unfortunately, despite the solidness of the blow, Bowers barely seemed to register it. Instead, he spun back around and lunged at Mike once more.

Caught off guard, Mike stumbled to the ground, but he regained his bearings fast enough to grab Bowers’ arm as the knife swung down at him. The two struggled for control for a minute, Mike obviously stronger, yet at a disadvantage due to his position. It was clearly only a matter of time before his strength gave out. He needed to do something and fast.

“Poor little Mike,” Bowers mocked. “Always fighting so hard to stay alive. You’re not going to win this. Why do you insist on struggling so much?” Bowers let out a manic laugh and Mike felt bile rise up in his throat. It was genuinely hard to tell if these words came from Bowers or It, but either way, Mike feared they were the truth.

“My friends,” Mike grunted out. “They’ll protect me. I have friends listening to police reports. They’ll come find me once they learned you escaped!” Mike stared up at Bowers in hatred. Don and Adrian would come for him. He knew it.

“Then I’ll kill your friends too!” Bowers cackled. “If they try to save you, I’ll kill them too! But I bet they’re not coming. They probably decided to abandon you, just like your parents. Those crackheads were so desperate to get away from you that they killed themselves! Your friends aren’t going to come for you. They probably hate you too. That’s why you’re always alone, isn’t it? Poor little Mikey, always alone because everyone hates you!”

With every word, Bowers pressed down a little further against Mike who looked around desperately for a escape. He knew that Bowers was just mocking him, yet the words still stung. He had been all alone for the past twenty three years. After the last of the losers left and forgot him, Mike was left with absolutely nobody.

He never blamed the others for it. He knew it wasn’t their fault, yet that didn’t change how lonely he was. How lonely he had always been. As the homeschooled kid, the orphan, and the black kid, Mike had always been an outcast for so many different reasons. And even when he found friendships with the Losers, his homeschooled status still kept him the odd man out even amongst his closest friends. And maybe that was why he was the only one not paired off. He told himself it was because he was ready already, but maybe he just didn’t have someone there to pair off with.

As the painful thoughts filled Mike’s head, he felt his arm grow heavier and his defense weaken. He tried his best to fight back. He knew he had to survive if he wanted to defeat It and make all his sacrifices mean anything, yet it was so hard too keep fighting alone. So, so hard.

Sensing his weakness, Bowers doubled down on his attack and Mike’s arm gave way, the knife plunging painfully into his shoulder. Mike screamed out in pain, bracing himself for the next attack as Bowers violently yanked the knife out of his shoulder and aimed it at his heart.

“This is it,” he though bitterly. “A lifetime of fighting and it all means nothing because I am going to die here and the ritual will fail and all my friends will die and it will all be my fault. Just like my parents who died screaming out my name. Will Don and Adrian even survive or did I save them just to let them be slaughtered later?”

Tears streamed down Mike’s cheeks as he watched Bowers raise his arm up again to strike. He weakly raised up his good arm in one final attempt to protect himself, but was almost certain it was futile.

As the knife came hurtling down towards Mike, Bowers laughed manically. Then Mike heard the bang. For a second, time seemed to stop, then Bowers began to scream as he dropped the knife to clutch his side.

The second he pulled back from Mike, another bang sounded and Bowers fell backwards, blood pouring from the bullet hole that was now in his head.

—————

Ben watched silently as Beverly held the postcard close. A part of him wanted to ask her about it, but a part of him hesitated as well. Despite the postcard’s importance, Beverly wasn’t looking at him at all. Was it possible she didn’t remember who wrote it?

Ben cleared his throat awkwardly causing Beverly to look up at him. “So, um, I guess it’s my turn now,” he said, shifting from foot to foot. “Where to?” Beverly asked, placing the postcard back into her pocket. “I’m not sure. There are a few places I can think of if I’m looking to relive traumatic experiences. Let’s try the school first though. That’s right around the corner.”

Beverly nodded and followed along behind Ben. The walked in silence for a moment before Ben stopped suddenly outside one of the classrooms. “Here?” Beverly asked softly. Ben shrugged. “Maybe,” he admitted.

The two companions walked inside and looked around. The classroom looked like any other and Beverly couldn’t help but wonder what was so special about this one. Had she forgotten about whatever the moment had been or had Ben simply never told her in the first place?

Beverly looked sadly over at her friend, frowning when she saw just how pained he looked. “This place was a real hell hole, wasn’t it?” she asked gently. Ben seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in and turned to face her.

“It really was. Even without demon clowns, people could be mean. Although sometimes it was hard to tell which one was which,” Ben agreed, causing Beverly’s brow to furrow in concern. Clearly something had happened here that Ben had never told her about.

“Can I show you something?” she asked, her voice uncertain. “Of course,” Ben agreed. “Lead the way.” Beverly nodded and beckoned for Ben to follow her. The pair made their way down the hallway once more until they stopped outside one of the ladies’ restrooms.

“I know you were always a sweet boy and would never do something like sneak into a woman’s restroom, but do you mind being a little naughty today?” Beverly asked, a hint of a smile forming on her lips as she lightly teased Ben.

Ben rolled his eyes and smiled. “I think you guys all believe me to be a lot sweeter than I am. I’m just a socially awkward nerd,” Ben protested. Beverly rolled her eyes this time as she held the door open for Ben to follow her inside. “You are literally the nicest person I have ever met,” she replied. “Just take the compliment.”

Once Ben and Beverly were both in the bathroom, Beverly made her way over to one of he stalls and stopped in front of it. “One the last day of school before that summer, I was in here smoking. Greta and some of her friends came by and filled a bag of trash up with water before dumping it on me. It was slimy and disgusting, but compared to the insults they hurled my way, it was nothing.”

Beverly nervously drummed her fingers on the bathroom stall as she recalled that day so long ago. “As they all walked away, I remembered feeling so miserable and alone. I really believed that the world saw me as just some disgusting whore who no one would ever love.”

Ben stared in horror at Beverly. How could anyone be so cruel to her? How could they fail to see just how amazing she really was? “My life has been filled with enough bad moments, I don’t know if I could classify that one as one of the worst, but I can say that in its own, twisted way, it was one of the best,” Beverly continued.

“How?” Ben asked in shock. Beverly closed her eyes for a moment to collect herself. “If my dad saw me drenched in trash water, he would have killed me,” she continued. “That meant I had to change and clean off before I left. And because I stayed late, I ended up running into this boy I had a class with, but never bothered to talk to before.” Beverly stopped for a second to smile at the memory.

“He was sort of awkward and had somewhat questionable taste in music, but he was sweet in a way most others weren’t,” she continued. “It was a pleasant interaction, but I have to admit that I didn’t think all that much of it at the time. I never expected that Ben from Soc class would be the reason why I can close my eyes and recall happy memories, yet here we are.”

Beverly turned to Ben and smiled, her heart rate increasing a little at the redness of his face. “Meeting you that day is the reason why I have happy memories as well,” Ben agreed. He carefully opened out his wallet pulled out a yellowed piece of paper.

“I think I’ve had my token with me all along,” he admitted. “For nearly twenty seven years, I couldn’t remember why it meant so much to me, but I do now. Come on. Let’s get out of here and meet back up with the others,” he suggested, holding his hand out to Beverly.

Beverly started to step forward, but then suddenly jumped back and screamed. She stared in horror at the puddle of blood rapidly forming on the ground as it poured in through the toilets and sinks. The puddle was quickly turning into a pool and in no time, it appeared that they would be trapped.

With a quick exchange of horrified looks, Ben and Beverly quickly ran to the door, but found it locked. “Fuck!” Ben cried, startling Beverly. She was almost certain this was the first time she heard him curse. She startled again when she heard a loud banging, but quickly realized it was only Ben slamming his body against the door.

Realizing they were trapped, Ben began to slam into the door. If he couldn’t manage to break them out now, then what were all those years of working out even for? They certainly hadn’t been to make him more popular with the ladies and they hadn’t really done much to gain him friends. Ben knew he had done it to fit in and feel like he belonged, but maybe he didn’t really want to fit in anymore.

For some unknown reason, the world saw Beverly as a misfit and a loser. It saw all of his friends as misfits and losers. But if those were the misfits and losers of the world, then Ben didn’t want to fit in. He wanted to be a loser too and god help him if he let himself and Beverly die trapped in such a cruel place.

No, they were going to make it out. They were going to make it out then defeat It then go back to the real world. Only this time, Ben wasn’t going to be ashamed of himself. He wasn’t necessarily going to stop being healthy, but he wasn’t going to obsess so much. Or hide his interests and passions. Fat, nerdy Ben had been enough to make Beverly happy, so why couldn’t healthy, nerdy Ben be enough to make himself happy too?

————

Beverly watched in horror as the blood began to lap at her knees. Ben was still slamming violently against the door and she was getting worried he would injure himself if he kept it up. Sure, he was in great shape, but no one’s body could take such a beating without any damage.

“A beating,” Beverly thought absently. Last time she had been trapped behind a door, it was when Tom was hitting and screaming at her. It had been such a different experience than this one now. And last time blood had coated her in a bathroom, she had been left curled up on the ground and crying by herself.

All her life, Beverly had felt alone and trapped. She had poured all that effort into dealing with her abusive father until she could escape him, only to land herself directly into the arms of a new abuser.

But this time there was someone trying to save her, not hold her back. With trembling hands, Beverly pulled out the postcard and held it up.

_Your hair is winter fire_  
_January embers_  
_My heart burns there, too_

Beverly had never really understood what the poem meant, but she had some idea now. Winter fire, January embers, a strength and warmth where such things should be dead. Courage and love where one would last expect it. A place where their hearts beat together as one.

Taking a deep breath, Beverly walked over to the door and firmly pushed. Much to Ben’s shock, the door swung open and the blood spilled out into the hallway.

“How did you do that?” he asked in shock. “I‘m done feeling weak and trapped,” Beverly informed him. “I’m not ashamed of who I am or what I’ve done with my life and I’m not afraid to move forward.” Ben stared at her in awe and admiration.

“All my life, I’ve been afraid of love. I think maybe I married an abusive man because deep down, that’s what I thought I deserved. But that’s not true. And you knew that and tried to make me see it too. I didn’t understand what you were saying back then, but I do now. And here’s my response.”

_A warmth in the ice of winter_  
_A fire that will never die_  
_Our hearts beat as one_

“It’s not as beautiful as what you told me, bu-“

Beverly’s words were cut off as Ben rushed forward and grabbed her in a hug. “You do remember who wrote it,” he whispered in joy and wonder. “I didn’t at first,” Beverly admitted. “I thought maybe it was Bill. I remember having a little bit of a crush on him. But that just didn’t seem right and that’s because it was never Bill. It was you. It was always you. You were always the one who helped me be the best me. The me I was proud to be.”

“You helped me be my best me too,” Ben promised, shifting Beverly into a single-handed hug so that he could use his other hand to brush her cheek. “I’ve spent so much of my life ashamed of who I am, but why should I be ashamed of being someone who makes his friends smile and feel good? You said that you want to move forward, so let’s move forward together,” he offered.

“Together,” Beverly whispered, as if trying the word out on her tongue and seeing if she liked it. She smiled, decided that she did, in fact, like it very much. “Together sounds wonderful.” And then she leaned in and kissed him.

Ben hesitated for half a second, but quickly sunk into the kiss. He could try to question it all he wanted, to analyze all the possible reasons why someone like Beverly liked someone like him. Or he could simply accept that maybe their hearts really did beat together as one.

And why couldn’t they? So what if Ben was a Loser? The best people Ben knew were all Losers too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for the cliffhanger with Mike, but at least someone has come to save him! And at least one of our pairs has finished their token hunt! I promise we’ll get to the Reddie stuff soon!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mike stared in shock as Bowers dropped dead. It almost didn’t seem real. He turned around to thank Don and Adrian, but the words died on his lips.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I had to rewrite this chapter a couple times before I was happy with it, but I think it’s in a pretty decent shape now.

When they stopped outside the arcade, Eddie felt his heart sink. The once lively shop was now abandoned and vandalized. Even if Eddie had never spent much time there himself, it still really hurt to see a place that once meant so much to Richie in such a state. Not to mention the reason why they were there in the first place. Why would this be where Richie thought to go to face his childhood trauma? Eddie couldn’t remember any bad experiences here. Was there something Richie hadn’t told him?

“You okay?” Eddie asked softly, placing a hand gently on Richie’s arm. He could feel his friend shaking a little beside him and his heart broke further. “Whatever is in there waiting for you, I’ll be right there with you, okay?” Eddie promised when Richie didn’t answer. 

“Thanks, Eds,” Richie replied weakly. “All these years and you’re still calling me that stupid nickname,” Eddie teased, trying to break the tension. “Aww! You love it when I call you Eds!” Richie protested, his voice a little lighter than it was before.

Eddie smiled for a moment. He was sure that Richie was never going to let him live this down, but he guessed it was worth it to help his friend out. “Yeah, I do,” Eddie agreed softly. “What?” Richie asked in surprise. “I love it when you call me Eds,” Eddie admitted, his face turning red.

Richie turned to face Eddie and grinned, his face lit up with genuine joy. And despite it all, Eddie found himself grinning from ear to ear as well. Maybe he should have admitted this to Richie a lot sooner. Sure, their banter was a wonderful thing and he never wanted it to end, but Richie’s joy now was far better than all the jokes they shared combined. 

“I love giving you grief for calling me Eds,” Eddie explained, “but I never want you to stop it.” “Eds,” Richie whispered gently. “Eds, Eds, Eds, Eds, Eds.” He took Eddie’s hands into his own. “Thank you, Eds. For everything.” He threw his arms tightly around Eddie and pulled him in close. 

The pair stood there like that for a minute, just enjoying the warmth and proximity of the other, until Richie eventually realized that his body had stopped shaking. Reluctantly, he released Eddie from the hug and took his hands once more. “I think I’m ready to go in now,” Richie declared, more to himself than to Eddie.

Eddie smiled kindly up at the other man and squeezed his hands. “You can do it, Richie. Rich? Trashmouth? Chee? Cheese?” Eddie let out a little laugh. “I’ll pick the perfect nickname to annoy you with later. For now, just know I believe in you.”

Richie laughed too. “I’m sure you will, Spaghetti Head. You always seem to know exactly how to make me smile.” Eddie rolled his eyes at “Spaghetti Head,” but held tight to Richie’s hand as he followed the other man inside the arcade, bracing himself for whatever nightmare he was about to face.

————

Mike stared in shock as Bowers dropped dead. It almost didn’t seem real. He turned around to thank Don and Adrian, but the words died on his lips. 

“Stan?” he squeaked out in shock. Stan turned to face him, his eyes wide and his hands shaking. “Hi Mike,” he replied, his voice completely deadpan. Then he passed out.

————

As soon as the call shifted into voicemail, Adrian made his way over to Mike’s bedside table and removed the gun from the top drawer. He had absolutely no idea how to use it, but he assumed Mike did and he felt a lot safer holding some sort of a weapon.

From across the apartment, Don gathered up the first aid kit he had made earlier that day and shoved it in a bag along with some rocks. The two men then looked at each other. “This could be our chance to repay Mike,” Adrian said softly. “It could be,” Don agreed. “But we might also not make it there in time,” Adrian admitted.

Don shifted uncomfortably for a moment. “We’ll just need to do whatever we can to save him,” Don insisted. “Right,” Adrian agreed. He let out a puff of air. “Oh, fuck it,” he swore. He grabbed his phone and opened the Losers group chat that Mike had made that morning. Being a big, damn hero only worked if you actually managed to save the person you were trying to protect and Adrian wasn’t about to risk Mike’s life on an ego trip.

————

As Stan fell, Bill ran forward, grabbing him seconds before he hit the ground. Bill examined Stan for a moment before breathing out a sigh of relief when he confirmed that Stan was just unconscious.

Lowering him gently to the ground, Bill then released Stan and made his way over to Mike. He held out a hand to help his friend up, but Mike just stared at him in shock.

“Are you okay?” Bill asked in concern. Mike nodded weakly. “I’m fine,” he managed to reply. He still didn’t take Bill’s hand though. “How did you guys find me? Or for that matter, how did you know to look for me?” he asked after a moment. 

“Adrian texted us,” Bill explained. “He didn’t know where you were, so we just made our way back to the library. We ran into Don and Adrain along the way and they gave us the gun. Apparently Stan knows how to shoot one,” Bill said, still sounding a little surprised by the idea that Stan had used a gun before. 

Mike’s brow creased in confusion. “So you heard that Bowers was out and your first reaction was to come looking for me?” he asked. “Adrian said he tried to contact you and couldn’t reach you,” Bill explained, but it didn’t seem to help with Mike’s confusion. Bill sighed and sat down next to his friend.

“You were alone,” he continued. “The rest of us had somebody there to watch our backs, but you were out there alone and we were worried about you. I know you said that you already had whatever memories you needed, but it’s still dangerous out here. We care about you, Mike. None of us could live with ourselves if we just let something happen to you.”

Mike stared up at Bill in shock for a moment before collapsed into the smaller man’s arms and burying his face into his chest. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” Mike admitted, his voice cracking. “Hell, I had no idea how much I missed you until you came back. I had almost completely forgotten what it was like to have friends. It’s been so long since I had anybody.”

Bill pulled Mike in closer, the two men each ignoring the pain in their shoulders as he did so. The battle was clearly already taking a toll on their bodies, but maybe it wasn’t so bad for their hearts. It was clear that Mike really needed this right now.

They stayed that way for a minute or so before they heard a soft groan and quickly rushed over to help Stan sit up. “Mike,” he whimpered, reaching out to touch his friend’s injured shoulder. “Stan,” Mike replied, grabbing his friend and pulling him into a hug.

“I did it,” Stan whispered in amazement. “I actually did it. I told Adrian that I knew how to use a gun, but I didn’t know if I had it in me. But then when I saw him trying to hurt you, my hand stopped shaking. I couldn’t let you die.” Stan choked back a sob. “I’m not going to let any of us die,” he swore.

Mike pulled Stan in closer. “Thank you,” he said gratefully. “I was so caught up in the battle and worried about the rest of you, that I forgot to look out for myself,” Mike admitted. “But that’s what we have each other for,” Stan countered. “It’s not easy to face your fears all by yourself. I don’t think I would be here right now if I had to do it alone,” he admitted. “But we aren’t alone and we don’t need to fight by ourselves. We’re all here for each other now, Mike. You aren’t alone anymore.”

“You really aren’t,” a voice spoke up from the other side of the alley. Mike, Bill, and Stan all turned and grinned when they saw Don and Adrian approaching. “I see you guys beat us to it,” Adrian said, pointing to Bower’s body with the axe he was wielding. Mike was pretty sure it was the one they had on display in the library. 

“Stan shot him,” Mike replied with a grin. “Nice!” Adrian replied, holding out a hand for a high five, but dropping it after a moment of stares. “I brought first aid supplies,” Don informed everyone, giving Adrian a look then kneeling down and examining Mike’s arm. Adrian shrugged before pulling out his phone and sending a photo of the other four Losers to the group chat. 

“It appears that Ben and Bev are on their way too. No word yet from Richie and Eddie, but I’m sure they’re just finishing up whatever battles they’re fighting right now. They’ve got each other, so they should be fine,” Adrian assured everyone.

Mike looked around at the four Losers sitting with him and thought of the ones on their way over. “When Bowers and I were fighting, he mocked me for being alone,” he confessed. “He said nobody would come for me because nobody cared about me and in the moment, I believed him. I honestly couldn’t believe that anyone would come looking for me, yet here you all are,” Mike said, wiping tears from his eyes.

“It’s like you said when we first met. There is a darkness over Derry,” Don pointed out. “You’ve spent your whole life forced to fight that darkness and you spent most of that time alone. It’s easy to see where your doubts came from, but I need you to know that they aren’t true. From here on out, somebody will always come running for you. You made sure of it the day you met the other Losers then again when you saved me and Addy. Don’t let that bastard get to your head. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Bill nodded in agreement and pulled Mike in close again, motioning for the others to join in on a group hug. “And It’s okay to feel lonely, you know. You don’t have to pretend like your sacrifice was easy or that you’re glad you made it. It’s okay to feel unhappy and to long for more. I promise you will find something more. Once this is all over, all nine of us are going to leave Derry together. I swear it.”

Mike closed his eyes and smiled. His shoulder still felt like it was on fire, but he barely registered the pain anymore. After so many years of feeling lost and alone, Mike finally felt like he had a family again. And that family wasn’t ever going to abandon him, he was certain of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is finally starting to reconvene! But first get Reddie for for some Reddie!
> 
> Also, I have a good friend named Qi (pronounced Chee) and I call her Cheese. She’s basically the Eddie to my Richie (short, angry, adorable, fun to hug and annoy), so I will always have a soft spot for Chee even if a lot of people don’t like it!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Richie shifted uncomfortably for a moment, pulling his hand away from Eddie’s to play with his glasses. “Richie?” Eddie asked in concern. “You think the street fighter game still works?” Richie asked, clearly trying to change the subject.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for internalized homophobia and some homophobic language. Also for infidelity.

The arcade looked exactly the same as it did the last time Richie had been there. God, last time felt like a lifetime ago, even though it had really only been a little over a week. Richie could still hardly believe that he was really here and doing this, but any doubt in his mind was removed by the warmth of Eddie’s hand.

And he was so grateful to Eddie for it. Eddie didn’t seem to care at all that they were two grown men, one of whom was married. He simply saw a friend in need and offered unconditional kindness. Richie just hoped Eddie would feel the same way once he knew the truth.

Once they entered the arcade, Richie silently made his way over to the token machine and dropped a quarter inside. “You do know that it doesn’t need to be a literal token, right Richie?” Eddie asked him with a playful nudge to his side. Richie chuckled and rolled his eyes in response.

“Oh shut it, Spaghetti,” he chided. “Just be glad I didn’t pick something more symbolic of my childhood like your mom’s underwear or something,” he then added with an eyebrow wiggle. “Beep, beep, asshole!” Eddie cried, making fake retching noises. “That’s it. I take back everything nice I’ve said about you these past couple days. You are disgusting and I want absolutely nothing to do with you,” Eddie lamented. Yet even as he threatened to abandon Richie, he never let go of his hand.

Richie cackled happily at Eddie’s reaction, turning to face him with a crooked grin. Eddie laughed for a moment too before his smile slowly turned into a frown. “So was that it?” he asked a little nervously. “We can just pick up your token then leave? That doesn’t seem right.” Eddie looked suspiciously around the arcade.

Richie shifted uncomfortably for a moment, pulling his hand away from Eddie’s to play with his glasses. “Richie?” Eddie asked in concern. “You think the street fighter game still works?” Richie asked, clearly trying to change the subject.

“There’s graffiti all over the screen. There’s no way you could play it even if it did. But you’re changing the subject. Is there something more we have to do here?” Eddie replied.

Richie ignored Eddie’s question, instead walking over to the abandoned game and lovingly fiddling with the controls as if he were actually playing. Eddie sighed and made his way beside Richie.

“I spent a lot of time in here during our time apart that summer. Without the rest of you guys to hang out with, I went back to my original plan of playing street fighter all day, every day,” Richie said, his eyes locked onto the game and pointedly not on Eddie.

“I’m sorry I let my mom keep us apart for so long,” Eddie apologized. “Don’t be,” Richie replied. “It’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault really, except your mom’s and that stupid clown’s. No one wanted you to get hurt and nobody wanted to split the gang. It just happened.”

Richie then sighed and sank down to the floor next to the game and motioned for Eddie to join him. “I remember being so mad when I saw what was written on your cast,” Richie confessed. “I wasn’t sure which one of our many bullies had done it, but I remember wanting to beat up whoever it was. Nobody hurts my Spaghetti like that and gets away with it!”

Eddie chuckled at the image of child Richie throwing hands with Greta Keene. He was pretty sure that poor Richie would have lost that fight and then gotten shit for beating up on a girl. “Yeah,” Eddie agreed. “Life was a lot less pleasant without the rest of you around to help me stand up for myself.” “Although you still managed to do it,” Richie reminded Eddie with a gentle nudge. “Only ‘cause Beverly was in trouble,” he admitted. 

Richie gently squeezed Eddie’s hand. “Well, whatever the reason, I’m glad you did. I never had the guts to fight back myself and honestly I think I carried that moment with me for the rest of my life,” Richie confessed.

He looked over at Eddie who was staring sympathetically at him. It was clear that Eddie wanted him to elaborate, but he also didn’t want to push before Richie was ready to talk. Richie was grateful for the support. He really was so lucky to have someone like Eddie in his life. So with Eddie’s kindness in mind, Richie took a deep breath then began to talk. 

“During the time we were apart, I was in here playing Street Fighter one day when I ended up playing with this other boy. We had a really good time together and I guess I was a little too friendly with him, but at any rate he ended up being Bowers’ cousin and telling Bowers that I was flirting with him.”

Eddie sucked in a sharp breath of air. He had a pretty good idea where this story was heading and he hated that he was only learning of it now. “Of course Bowers didn’t take kindly to that. He called me a faggot and told me to get lost. And I just ran away. All my life, I’ve never known when to shut up, but with everyone staring at me and judging me, I couldn’t get any words out.”

Eddie reached out to comfort Richie, but dropped his hand when Richie winced at the contact. “It didn’t end there either,” Richie continued after a shaky breath. “After running away, all I wanted to do was curl up and try not to cry. Unfortunately that stupid clown had other ideas. I guess he saw how weak I was then and decided it was the perfect time to attack and make fun of me. He chased me around with the Paul Bunyan statue and mocked me about my sexuality.”

“Richie,” Eddie said softly, staring sadly at his friend. “I’m sorry I never told you,” Richie apologized. “I never told anyone about anything that happened that day. I was too ashamed and afraid of your reactions. I know you wouldn’t hate me for being bullied, but I didn’t know how you would react to the reason why.”

Richie closed his eyes and took a deep breath before slowly standing back up. “Earlier you asked why we weren’t being attacked. It’s because this isn’t our final stop. There’s somewhere else I need to take you to share the rest of my story. Are you still up for this journey down memory lane?”

Eddie wipes his eyes and got to his feet. “Of course I am, Dickhead. I’ve told you a thousand times and I’ll say it again. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” Despite the tears welling up in his eyes, Richie felt a small smile spread across his face. 

————

The walk to the kissing bridge was a silent one. Richie wasn’t sure if It would actually attack him there or not. Last time it had been by the Paul Bunyan statue, but that statue didn’t really hold that much emotional worth to Richie anymore. He was about to share his “dirty little secret,” so It could no longer taunt him about it. Of course, Richie supposed It could still taunt him over Eddie’s response.

They were a little less than halfway across the bridge when Richie stopped and knelt down beside some faded letters and motioned for Eddie to join him. “After all these years, it’s nice to see at least one good thing still remains in Derry,” Richie said softly.

Eddie reached a nervous hand out and gently traced the letters as Richie watched apprehensively. “When Greta defaced your cast, your response was to change her negative word into a positive one. When It and Bowers mocked me for my sexuality, this was my response,” Richie explained. “I never planned on telling anyone about it, but I wanted to record it somewhere, even if only to confirm it to myself.”

Richie reached up to touch the letters as well, his fingers brushing up against Eddie’s. “Bowers was right, you know. I really am a faggot. Well, technically I’m bisexual, so a half faggot? I’m not really sure what the right slur is here, but I guess that’s not really the point. The point is that I like men. I love men. Or at least I love one man. I loved him when we were kids and I love him now. And even in all those years we forgot about each other, I still loved him. It was why every relationship I ever had was destined to fail. None of them were with you.”

Richie looked down at the ground, far too afraid to meet Eddie’s eyes. But after a few moments of silence, he looked up at the sound of a soft sob.

“Eds?” Richie asked nervously. Had his confession really hurt Eddie that badly? Did he feel disgusting for interacting with someone like Richie? Did he feel betrayed like all those years of friendship were a lie? Richie didn’t know how to respond to Eddie’s tears.

“All these years,” Eddie whimpered miserably, causing Richie’s stomach to churn even worse. “All these years, I’ve told myself that I was sick. That there was something wrong with me and my thoughts. My mom and Myra both said the same thing. “Being gay is a disease,” they said, and I believed them. I told myself I was fine, that I was happy, that I wasn’t missing an important piece of myself. I never even let myself consider it and I told myself it was fine not to consider it because even if I did, those feelings would never be returned. But through all of these years, all of my little lies, you could have been mine.”

Richie stared at Eddie in shock. “You wanted me?” he asked in confusion. “No Richie, I wanted your mom,” Eddie replied with a straight face. Then he began to laugh. “Of course I wanted you! There was no one else I would rather be with than you. And don’t give me that look. I told you that you need more confidence in yourself. You’re a real catch, you moron,” Eddie concluded.

Richie then began to laugh too. “We really were so young and dumb, weren’t we? But hey, the world was against us, so maybe it wasn’t all our faults. But we’re here now, and that’s all that matters. When this is all over, will you come home with me?” he asked, allowing himself to truly hope for the first time.

“I can’t just pick up and runaway,” Eddie apologized. Richie’s heart sank a little. Eddie wasn’t seriously going to return to Myra, was he? “I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I don’t love Myra and I never will, but she’s still my wife. At the very least I own her an explanation in person. Not to mention how damaging it would be to your reputation if you ran off with a married man! Just let me take care of the divorce first, okay? Then I’ll come find you again,” Eddie promised.

Richie grinned like a madman. “Deal!” he agreed happily. “I’ve waited forty years so far, so I can wait a few months more. And then there will be nothing stopping us. I’m done hiding, Eds. From now on, the only ones who should be setting the rules about our feelings are us. And if it’s okay with you, right now I want to share it with all the world!”

Eddie laughed and pulled a small knife from his pocket. “I picked it up at the pharmacy after the leper incident,” he explained. He then pressed the knife up against the wood under the “R” and began to draw an “I”. Once he was finished with writing Richie’s name, he carefully re-carved the “R” and handed the knife over to Richie’s outstretched hand. A minute later, a freshly carved “EDDIE” was written in the wood as well. The last thing the pair did was re-carve the plus sign together. 

Once they were done, the couple examined their work then fell into laughter. Neither could think of a sappier action they had ever taken in their lives, yet both secretly hoped that this would only be the first of many.

Before standing up, Richie leaned in and placed a chaste kiss against Eddie’s lips. “Once you’re divorced, there will be a whole lot more where that came from,” he promised. Eddie giggled and grinned, grabbing Richie’s face and pulling him in for a much deeper kiss.

“I’ve lived my whole life thinking that I’m a disgusting sinner just for being myself and I fear that you have too. I think at this point, we’ve earned ourselves at least a little leeway,” Eddie said as they parted for breath. Richie blinked then began to laugh at the absurdity of Eddie’s statement. He was positive that wasn’t how any of this worked, but hey, if Eddie was okay with it, he was too. 

After a couple more kisses, the pair did eventually stand back up. “So is the arcade token really your token or should we try to take a piece of the bridge here or something?” Eddie asked. Richie thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. He was pretty sure the physical tokens meant nothing, but he supposed it didn’t hurt. He carefully scraped a chip of wood off the top of the fence and placed it in his pocket. “There we go!” he declared. “That better Eds?” he asked.

“Oh, indeed,” a cruel voice replied. Richie and Eddie turned around slowly. They would know recognize that voice anywhere. “Hiya Richie,” It said with a grin. Then it lunged forward.

With a scream, Eddie grabbed Richie’s hand and gave it a hard yank. The two of them tumbled over the bridge’s railing, landing on the thankfully soft ground and rolling. The was a sharp thunk as It smacked against the fence, but fortunately the wood held firm. The thunk was followed by the harsh sound of It’s laughter. 

As soon as Eddie regained his bearings, he leapt to his feet and began to pull a still dazed looking Richie up onto his. “Come on,” Eddie urged, once Richie was standing once more. The pair turned to flee, but were stopped by It’s cruel laughter.

“That’s right, Richie, run away, just like you always do!” It taunted. Eddie spun around sharply and held up a middle finger. “Oh, fuck off, you stupid clown!” he shouted. “Richie’s the bravest man I’ve ever met!” He flashed a warm smile at Richie and grabbed his hand. 

Richie felt a smile spread across his own face as he and Eddie began to run together. The warmth of Eddie’s hand reminded him just how different this was from last time. And so what if he was still running? Any same person would run at the sight of It. The difference now was that he was also running towards something instead of just running away. And this time Eddie was actually there by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I do picture Eddie as generally being a faithful husband, but I feel like that this point he’s 100% sure he’s going to divorce Myra and that they are unhealthy together, so he doesn’t really feel like (or care if) he’s cheating at this point. I’m not going to go into the morality of his decision, but I just wanted to explain his thought process a little.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You coming Stan?” Bill called out when he saw his friend lingering behind. Stan blinked and shook his head. “Yeah. Coming,” he replied as he turned around and followed after the others. His grip on the gun did not loosen the entire walk back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: suicidal thoughts and some (very mildly graphic) speculations on how the act would go down. If you don’t feel comfortable reading this, I’ll leave a brief description in the end note of what you need to know going into the next chapter so you can pick up from there.
> 
> Sorry for the late update and shorter chapter. I think I rewrote this chapter like 20 times before I felt happy enough with it to post it.

Once Don finished tending to Mike and Bill’s injured shoulders, it occurred to the Losers that maybe hanging out beside Bower’s corpse was not such a great idea. “But what do we do about him?” Stan asked in concern. “Just leave him,” Mike replied with a shrug. “The people of Derry have always turned a blind eye to the large number of deaths here. The best we can do right now is hope that they will do the same here.”

The others exchanged glances, but no one could come up with a better solution, so they simply followed Mike as he lead them back to the townhouse to clean up. Stan remained a moment longer than the rest, his eyes lingering on the bullet holes pierced through Bowers’ body. His hand tightened around the barrel of the gun in an attempt to stave off the nausea rising up inside his body.

“You coming Stan?” Bill called out when he saw his friend lingering behind. Stan blinked and shook his head. “Yeah. Coming,” he replied as he turned around and followed after the others. His grip on the gun did not loosen the entire walk back.

————

Beverly’s eyes wandered briefly over the wrecked car as she walked past the alley where Mike and Bowers had fought. For a moment she debated checking beyond the car to make sure Bowers’ corpse was still there, but a quick squeeze of her hand from Ben made her reconsider. She had seen enough blood for a lifetime that day and didn’t really want to witness any more. Besides, it was probably better that she didn’t get herself any more involved in the scene of the crime than necessary. 

Upon entering the townhouse, Beverly quickly spotted the others hanging around the bar area. There was no bartender to be seen, but it appeared that everyone had helped themselves to something to drink and a small pile of cash sat unattended at the back of the bar.

“Mike!” she cried when she saw her friend sitting off in a corner. She released Ben’s hand to run over and hug Mike who let out a soft breath of pain as she brushed against his shoulder. “Sorry!” Beverly apologized, releasing him. Mike shook his head and chuckled.

“No worries,” he said with a grin. “I’m just glad to see that you and Ben made it back safely!” He turned to face Ben who quickly threw his arms around Mike as well. The trio all grinned from ear to ear as they enjoyed each other’s warmth.

After releasing Mike, Beverly looked around and took stock of the situation. On the whole, everyone looked to be doing alright. Bill had a bag of ice on his shoulder, but otherwise looked okay and Don and Adrian both appeared to be completely unharmed. Mike’s shoulder was clearly injured, but he was grinning and laughing with Ben, so Beverly figured he was fine.

Eddie and Richie still weren’t back yet which worried Beverly a little, but she also trusted those two to look after each other, so for the time being she decided to just assume that they were just still out there token hunting. And with everyone else accounted for, that left only Stan.

Beverly’s eyes wandered over Stan’s tired face. “Hi Bev,” he said when he noticed her looking at him. “Hey Stan,” Beverly replied awkwardly. The pair stared at each other for a moment. 

Bill seemed to noticed the air of discomfort between them because he cleared his throat and turned to Beverly. “You and Ben managed to find your tokens?” he asked in a clear attempt to end the awkward silence. Beverly nodded and grabbed a seat. “We did,” she confirmed, pulling out the postcard and admiring it once more. “It’s crazy to think I could forget about something so important to me,” she said softly.

“You won’t forget again,” Ben promised, coming up behind Beverly and wrapping his arms around her. In return, Beverly pulled Ben’s arms in closer to her chest and rested her chin against them. “I won’t,” Beverly agreed softly. They were going to defeat the clown this time and leave with their memories intact. They had to. Beverly refused to ever lose again what she had finally managed to regain.

Despite himself, Bill felt a small smile spread across his lips. He had expected to feel jealousy at the sight of Beverly in love with another man, but to his surprise, he didn’t. Instead he only felt warmth at the sight of the pair of lovers in front of him. For all the butterflies and warmth Bill recalled feeling around Beverly, none of it compared to the eyes she and Ben were making at each other now.

“I’m happy for you guys,” Bill admitted honestly. “You deserve to have found each other.” The relief and joy that lit up in Ben’s eyes at the congratulations was enough to erase any lingering jealousy Bill might have felt. 

“Thank you,” Beverly said sincerely. She smiled sympathetically at Bill, but he only smiled and shook his head. There was nothing more they needed to say on the matter and no hurt feelings. 

————

Once Ben and Beverly had poured themselves some drinks and settled in, they turned back to Mike. “So what now?” Beverly asked. “We wait for Richie and Eddie,” Mike replied. “I know you’re all still probably high off the adrenaline from your battles, but we can’t do anything until everyone is back with their token.”

The murmurs of agreement were overpowered by Stan’s sudden gasp of horror. All eyes turned towards him, Bill’s widening in realization. “I don’t have my token,” Stan whispered, fear shining in his eyes. “Bill and I were on the way to the Temple when we got the message about Mike and made our way back here.”

A sinking feeling settled in Stan’s stomach. How could he have forgotten the most important task of the day? He really didn’t want to go back out there either. Stan knew that he would eventually need to face It again for the final battle, but that would be with the others. The idea of going against It alone was entirely different.

Stan supposed he wouldn’t actually be alone, presumably Bill will go along with him, but that only made him feel worse. He didn’t want to drag his friend back into harm’s way for his sake. Not to mention the fact that he had no idea what his token might be. His best guess so far was the Torah, but the idea of using a holy book in ritual didn’t sit well with him.

Stan felt his chest tighten as he struggled to breath. A familiar fear gripped at his heart and made his vision swim. In his mind’s eye, he saw it once more. The sound of running water, the metallic smell of the blood, the peaceful calm of darkness. “It would be so easy,” he thought. There was a bathtub in his room right upstairs. He had a razor in his toiletries. It would be so easy to just end it all.

And wouldn’t that be better? If he removed himself from the picture, then he couldn’t accidentally mess things up. If he willingly took himself out, then surely the others could still win. The idea was tempting. So, so tempting. The bath in his mind looked so warm and inviting. All he had to do was excuse himself for a few minutes. By the time anyone thought to go looking for him, it would already be too late.

Stan let his eyes wander the room and scan across the new, yet somehow familiar faces. It had been nearly twenty seven years since he had seen any of his old friends and he had only met Don and Adrian that morning. Surely they wouldn’t mourn him that much. Now Patty on the other hand...

Stan closed his eyes and pictured Patty’s face, worn with worry. Patty knew that there was a darkness lingering in Stan’s heart. She was there for him in the mornings when he woke up frantic from his nightmares. She was there in the waiting room as Stan made his first therapy appointment. There by his side as he took self defense classes and learned how to shoot a gun. 

“Just in case,” she had told him when he asked her about the gun. “We don’t need to keep one in the house or anything. I just hear you shouting sometimes when you sleep. You sound so lost and afraid and I don’t want you to feel that way anymore. Even if you never need to use it, isn’t it better to know? Just in case?”

Stan couldn’t help but chuckle at how right Patty had been. Patty was always looking out for him, always standing beside him. He knew it killed her to let him go on this dangerous journey, but she trusted him anyways. It wouldn’t be fair to her to just leave her like that. But if he was going to die anyways, wasn’t it better to save the others in the process?

Taking a deep breath, Stan slowly began to stand up. He hadn’t decided yet what he wanted to do, but didn’t want to be around the others right now. He didn’t want to think about how disappointed they would be with him.

Yet as Stan stood, he felt a resistance tugging on both his arms. He looked down to find that Mike and Bill had each grabbed one of his hands and were holding on tight. “When had that happened?” Stan wondered in confusion. 

“Stan?” Beverly croaked weakly, her voice catching in her throat. Stan looked down into her eyes. They were so full of love and concern. “Hey, Bev,” Stan replied, a wave of exhaustion crashing over him. “What are you thinking right now?” she asked nervously.

Stan looked around once more at his friends, old and new. Despite barely knowing them, Don and Adrian stared at him with love and concern as well. It occurred to Stan that they loved the feeling of belonging the Losers club gave them just as much as the rest of them did. 

And it really was a powerful bond, wasn’t it? Even if there had been a twenty seven year gap in their friendship, Stan still loved the others as though they were his family. And from the way the others looked at him, Stan knew they loved him too. 

And hadn’t he been the one to promise Mike that they would all be there for him? How could everyone be there for each other if one of them was dead? And wasn’t that why Richie had come to collect him in the first place? Richie knew the risk he was taking when he asked Stan to come along, yet he did it anyways because he valued their friendship. 

Stan gently squeezed the two hands holding onto his and smiled wryly. “I’m thinking that I would very much not like to take a bath right now,” he informed Beverly as he slowly began to sit back down. 

The others all stared at Stan in confusion, unsure what on earth he was talking about, but Beverly just let out a sob and threw herself against him, squeezing him tightly in a deep hug. A second later Ben realized what must have happened and threw his arms around Stan as well. Mike and Bill joined in a second later, followed shortly by Don and Adrian.

“I’m so glad,” Beverly sobbed into Stan’s chest. “Oh, Stan. I’m so glad. In my nightmares I...” Beverly trailed off as Stan squeezed her back. “I’m not going to kill myself,” he promised. “As scary as it is out there, I don’t want to just give up now. Not when there’s something worth fighting for and people worth fighting with. Your nightmares are just nightmares, Bev,” Stan promised. He thought a moment about his words.

“Actually, your nightmares are nothing more than dark visions It placed in your head,” Stan realized. “Same with mine,” he continued. “And maybe they are things that could have happened, but they aren’t the only way forward.” Images from Stan’s nightmares that he had tried so hard to suppress lept forward in his mind. The brutal deaths of his friends danced around in the corners of his vision, but Stan paid them no mind.

“When Richie came to get me and bring me back to Derry, he made sure my nightmares didn’t come true and now I’m going to follow suit. None of us are going to die here in this battle. It’s just as Bill said earlier, all nine of us are getting out of here together.”

“Well said,” a voice from the corner of the room spoke up. The voice startled Stan a little, but didn’t make him jump. “I guess I really am the last one to find his token, aren’t I Richie?” Stan asked with a slight chuckle. 

“It just means that you have a team of Losers on your side to help you find it now,” Richie replied with a grin. Stan finally turned to face his friend and felt his face light up into a grin as well when he saw Richie and Eddie holding hands. “I’m glad it worked out for you,” Stan said, still smiling.

Richie and Eddie moved over to sit with the rest of the Losers, Eddie climbing on Richie’s lap so that they could both be close to Stan. “It’s going to work out for you too,” Richie promised as Eddie nodded in agreement. “I know,” Stan replied. And he did. He still didn’t know what he was yet to face before the battle was over, but at least he was sure now that he would never have to face any of it alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s this? The Losers are finally together again? I know we’ll all excited to watch the Losers kick some sloppy bitch ass!
> 
> Also, I’m glad I finally got to explain why Stan knows how to use a gun. You were all very kind in just accepting that fact, but I couldn’t just bring it up and not address it!
> 
> **Stuff to know if you didn’t read this chapter: 
> 
> Stan realized he didn’t have his token yet. He and Bev briefly address her dreams about him. Stan realized how much his wife and friends love him and that he might be scared, but it’s worth it to fight with them and for them. Everyone is finally back together and Bill is aware the Ben and Bev are an item while Stan is aware the Richie and Eddie are finally together.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What about a bird book?” Bill offered hopefully. “I remember that you used to absolutely adore bird watching and used to keep careful track of all the birds you had seen. Surely a bird book is a good token of your childhood.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. I’m really sorry for the late post. I’ve been working on some Christmas gift projects that are taking way longer than expected and are consuming every second of free time I have. After Christmas, I should be back on schedule.
> 
> Anyways, I also apologize if this chapter isn’t quite as polished as usual. I didn’t proof read it quite as much as usual, but I really just wanted to get it out there and get the story moving again. At least it’s longer than usual, so you’ll have more to read. I hope that this is worth the wait and that you’ll continue reading my story!

“So you don’t have any idea what your token might be?” Ben prompted Stan gently. Stan seemed to be doing better now than he had been a few minutes earlier, but Ben knew how easy it was for the self doubt to come crawling back into your mind when you least expected it. It was something he had lived with pretty much his entire life and he knew it wasn’t just going to go away now that he and Beverly were a couple, so he was sure that Stan’s doubt hadn’t completely disappeared either.

“Not really,” Stan replied, picking absently at a thread coming out of his chair cushion. Eddie pulled the little knife out of his pocket and handed it over to Stan who gratefully cut the string away before handing the knife back to Eddie.

“What about a bird book?” Bill offered hopefully. “I remember that you used to absolutely adore bird watching and used to keep careful track of all the birds you had seen. Surely a bird book is a good token of your childhood.”

Stan smiled appreciatively at Bill, but shook his head. “I did love birds when I was a kid. I still do now, but I don’t know if some random bird book would do it. I feel like it has to be something far more personal, you know? Something meaningful to me specifically.”

Richie nodded his head in understanding. Even if the physical objects didn’t actually matter, there still had to be a journey to obtain them. He wondered absently if maybe Eddie had been right about the wood from the kissing bridge being his token. Maybe he hadn’t journeyed far enough the time before.

“So I guess that means the shower caps are out then too?” Mike asked, placing his own back on his head. Stan chuckled a little as he pulled his out of his pocket. “I’m honestly not sure why they would be my token in the first place. Surely I’ve done more interesting things than worry about spiders in my life,” he protested.

Richie laughed and pulled his back on over his hair. “It’s what they represent, Stanthony. You got the shower caps because you were worried about something, so you took action and protected all of us from it. That’s a really Stan thing to do and I think the shower caps just help to represent that.”

Stan felt his face grow hot at Richie’s words and he quickly looked away to hide his blush. “You’ve been doing that a lot since you got here, you know,” Bill pointed out as Stan turned to face him. “You saved both me and Mike, so clearly it’s still a true statement about you.” Mike nodded adamantly in agreement.

Feeling his face grow even hotter, Stan pulled his shower cap off again and examined it closely. “Maybe,” he replied, still hesitant. “I guess I get what you’re saying, but it still doesn’t feel right, you know? And maybe I’m just overthinking this, I know I tend to do that, but it just doesn’t feel right to not have to fight for my token.”

“I don’t think you’re overthinking it,” Adrian piped up. “I mean, this is some sort of weird, spiritual ritual, right? If the token doesn’t feel right to you, then it probably isn’t.” Stan’s eyes widened in surprise. He hadn’t thought of it that way before, but maybe Adrian was right. Bill had found Silver again, but he didn’t choose that as his token because there was something else calling to him. Surely there was something out there that was calling to Stan too.

“What about something from your Bar Mitzvah?” Eddie asked after a moment of thought. “I remember that you were preparing for it pretty much the entire summer. I’m still sad that I wasn’t there to see it, but Richie told me all about your badass speech. Would something like that work?”

Stan laughed wryly at the memory. “I don’t know if ‘badass’ is the term I would use. Maybe more like ‘bad for my ass,’ seeing as I wasn’t able to sit right for a week afterwards. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my dad more angry than he was that night. I did get a standing ovation from Richie though, so that’s something.”

Stan’s eyes twinkled for a moment as he looked over at Richie. “I don’t think I ever really thanked you for coming to support me. With the gang all broken up, I didn’t think anyone would come, but I’m glad you did.” 

Richie felt his face heat up a little as he grinned back at Stan. “What can I say, Staniel? Somebody had to be there to watch your epic moment of rebellion. Besides, you were always one of my favorite people in the entire world. There was no way I wasn’t going to go and support you!”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, and don’t you dare ask me to repeat it, but you were always one of my favorite people too,” Stan replied. The pair of friends smiled dopily at each other for a minute. “But really,” Stan continued after a moment. “It meant the world to me to know that you were there supporting me. I always tried really hard to be the grown up, rational, and responsible one, so having a friend cheer me on when I did something ridiculously stupid actually felt really good. Well worth the punishment and all that,” Stan finished, looking away and blushing again.

“What are friends for if not to support you through all your stupid ideas?” Richie asked with a grin, his face still bright red from joy and embarrassment. “You guys were always pulling me out of my shell,” Stan agreed with a faraway smile. His eyes glittered with fond recollections of the past.

“You all really were the one good thing about that summer,” Stan admitted after a moment of though. “Sure, you dragged me into the sewers to fight an evil clown, but you were always there for me, always looking out for me.” Stan smiled at the memories that continued to come flooding back.

“Sometimes, I felt like the entire world wanted me to be perfect. I always had to be the ‘good’ kid who never got into trouble. I was always supposed to be responsible and mature. My Bar Mitzvah was supposed to signify me entering adulthood, but what thirteen year old is actually an adult?” Stan wondered absently.

“Everyone always expected me to be perfect, myself included. Well, everyone, except for all of you. You never asked me to be perfect. Sometimes you asked me to be brave or flexible, but you never asked me to be anyone but myself. You guys never tried to change me, you just helped me to be a better me.”

Stan closed his eyes and smiled warmly, a new memory finally flashing through his mind. “I think I know what my token is now,” he admitted with a small smile. “It turns out that I’m going to need my old copy of the Torah after all.”

—————

Stan didn’t elaborate beyond that, but the look of determination in his eyes was enough to convince the rest of the Losers to trust him. Clearly he had found that one important object to him.

As Stan stood up to head back to the inn’s door, the others all followed him. “Are you sure it’s okay for everyone to go together?” Mike whispered to Richie as the followed after Stan. Richie only shrugged. “I have no idea, man, but I don’t really feel like separating again.” Mike nodded in agreement and followed along as well. 

As the others were all making their way towards the door, Don and Adrian exchanged a glance, but remained seated. They still weren’t really sure if everyone included them or not. “Are you guys coming?” Stan asked when he noticed the pair hanging back.

“Should we come?” Don asked uncertainly. “It’s okay if you just want it to be the OG Losers Club,” Adrian assured them, but Stan only smiled and shook his head. “Once a Loser, always a Loser,” Stan said adamantly. “You’re part of this club, so you should come with us too. Everyone here is equal, not just the original seven of us.”

As Stan shared a warm smile with the couple, he couldn’t help but realize just how much he had been smiling lately. Sure, he had freaked out and cried a lot lately too, but his once rare smile no longer seemed all that rare. Stan guessed it was hard not to smile when he was so surrounded by friendship and love. 

————

After facing It, Richie and Eddie had refused to let go of each other as they made their way back into town. It was only when they were right outside the inn and about to face their friends for the first time since their confessions that the reality of the situation finally hit Richie. He stared down at his intertwined hand and felt his heart beat faster.

“Uh...” Richie said softly, not wanting to let go, but also scared to keep holding on. “It’s your choice, Rich,” Eddie assured him, understanding Richie’s unspoken fears. “I think coming out for you has been a lot harder because you’ve had to face how you feel while I’ve just ignored it. I mean. I buried it down so deeply, that I was in denial for the past twenty five years.”

Eddie looked embarrassedly down at his feet. He felt so stupid for not acknowledging his feelings earlier. How could he have let such an important part of himself get so buried? It was embarrassing enough that he had forgotten about his medicines, but this was just pathetic.

“Hey,” Richie said softly, gently pressing a kiss to Eddie’s hand. “Just because we handled them differently, doesn’t mean your feelings are any less valid that mine. It’s your choice too,” Richie assured his boyfriend. Eddie looked down at his hand and smiled at the tingling sensation left behind from Richie’s kiss.

“I want to tell them,” Eddie decided. “I want to tell everyone you feel comfortable letting know. I’m done pretending to be someone I’m not.” “Me too,” Richie agreed after a moment. He was sure it was easier said than done, but he wanted that too. He was done hiding his true self.

————

As the nine Losers made their way towards the Synagogue, they fell into a somewhat awkward silence. Given their current mission, it seemed wrong to joke around and make light of the situation, but the silence weighed heavily on all of their minds.

Richie and Eddie had resumed holding hands now that they were walking again. They were aware of the dangers that posed in Derry, but in comparison to the dangers they had just faced, they guessed they just didn’t care anymore. Besides, there were nine of them in the group and it seemed unlikely anybody would mess with a group of nine slightly deranged looking adults with blood and vomit on their clothes and determination in their eyes.

A few steps ahead of them, Don and Adrian had also slipped their hands into each other’s. It was the first time they had done it in public since that fateful night, but they found themselves surprisingly unafraid. Or at least unafraid of the citizens of Derry. Neither had actually seen It before and it was hard not to fear that which was still unknown.

Richie watched curiously as Don and Adrian’s clasped hands swayed gently between them. Surely if any of the Losers had a problem with them, they would have said something by now. Not that they really seemed all that likely to be upset, Richie realized. These were all good and kind people. Would they really care if he craved a little dick?

Richie’s eyes wandered briefly around the group before landing on Stan. While Eddie was the love of Richie’s life, Stan had always been his closest friend. And even with the twenty seven year gap, Richie could still read Stan’s body language as though they had never been apart. He could sense the determination and drive pushing Stan forwards, but also the fear and tension racking his body.

There was no way that this silence was doing anyone any good Richie realized, and as the resident Trashmouth, he supposed it was his job to break it. He only hoped that Eddie or Stan would beep him if he started to go to far. 

“So I’m afraid I had to divorce Eddie’s mom today,” Richie blurted out, his eyes wide with panic and fear. As soon as the words left his mouth, the rest of the Losers stopped short and stared at him. Richie could feel his face growing hot and panic starting to spread through his body. Was this the absolute wrong thing to say?

Eddie’s eyes widened the largest as he heard Richie’s declaration. What kind of an idiot broke the silence with a comment like that? He turned towards Richie to tell him as much, but the words died on his lips when he saw the look on his boyfriend’s face. “Oh Rich,” Eddie thought lovingly to himself. Apparently the sort of idiot to say something like that was also the sort of idiot that left Eddie feeling proud from the bottom of his heart.

So instead of telling Richie off, Eddie simply replied “Apparently the necrophilia wasn’t enough to turn him off earlier, but recently something has changed.” He gave Richie’s hand a squeeze of encouragement to assure him he understood what was happening and was on board with it. Richie let out a quick bark of laughter when he heard Eddie’s words and squeezed his hand in return.  
He truly was the luckiest man in the world to have found a boyfriend like Eddie.

“So anyways,” Richie continued. “As much as I loved Mrs. K, I’ve found someone much better and want to spend the rest of my life with him.” Richie looked around nervously at his friends to see how they would react to his pronoun use. To his surprise, the only one who had any degree of surprise on his face was Bill. Everyone else was simply smiling.

“I can see why your marriage to his mom might have been a turn off,” Ben teased gently. Richie’s face turned red at Ben’s words. “You knew?” he asked softly. Ben blushed a little. “Well, I always suspected you two liked each other, but my suspicions were confirmed when I heard you guys last night,” he replied, looking away in embarrassment.

“Wait! But Eds and I weren’t even a couple back then!” Richie sputtered. “Oh,” Ben replied, looking even more embarrassed. “I just thought... you know... I mean, I heard... well...” Beverly placed an affectionate hand on Ben’s shoulder to calm him down.

“We just talked last night!” Richie protested, his face neon red. “And had a pillow fight and shared a bed,” Eddie pointed out, his face also glowing. “I guess I can see why Ben thought what he did. I guess maybe we’ve been a couple for a lot longer than either of us realized.” He looked up at Richie and grinned.

He was about to lean up and plant a kiss on Richie’s cheek, when a snort of laughter caused him to jump. He spun around quickly and did a double take when he realized Stan was laughing so hard that tears were running down his cheeks. “Y-you two r-really are in-sane!” he gasped out through the laughter.

Eddie and Richie exchanged a glance before bursting into laughter as well. A second later, everyone else had joined in besides Bill. “Wait. Did everyone see this coming besides me?” Bill asked, looking desperately around at his laughing friends.

“Since we were twelve,” Stan said, still cackling. “I was never sure, but I suspected pretty much from the day I met them,” Ben added. “Same here,” Beverly agreed with a grin. Mike only shrugged. “It wasn’t really any of my business when we were kids, but I always knew there was something special between them. When Richie told me about his feelings last night, it didn’t take me by surprise.”

“Well, I knew for sure since the day I met him!” Adrian declared with a smirk. “Only because he told you,” Don countered with a roll of his eyes and an elbow to Adrian’s ribs. “Details, details,” Adrain said dismissively. He looked up at Richie and grinned. He couldn’t help but have a soft spot for that idiot of a comedian and was really glad to see him and Eddie finally together. Beside him, Don was thinking much the same thing.

“But seriously,” Bill protested after the others had all said their piece. “How am I the only one who didn’t know? I didn’t even know you like guys,” he lamented. “You made so many sex jokes, I just assumed that you were, you know...” Bill trailed off, vaguely waving his hand in an attempt to get his point across.

“That’s what you call overcompensating,” Richie replied with an embarrassed grin. “Geese Big Bill,” he then added, looking at his sputtering friend. “For an author, you’re certainly having some troubles with words,” he teased gently. “Oh shut up,” Bill snapped, giving Richie a middle finger. There was no heat in his words though and his face spread out into a grin.

Eddie smiled in relief at the affectionate exchange. He hadn’t been as worried as Richie about the reactions of his fellow Losers, but it was still nice to know that they were so supportive. “If it makes you feel better, I didn’t know until today either,” Eddie assured Bill, relenting a little in the teasing. 

“I mean, I guess suppressing your feelings and telling yourself that your were just imaging everything does that to you, but it still took me forty years to finally realize the love of my life loved me back,” he then added, a slight swell of guilt worming it’s way into the back of his mind.

But before Eddie could let his thoughts turn negative, he felt tight squeeze to his hand and looked over to see his boyfriend smiling affectionately at him and felt his body relax. So maybe he and Richie had wasted a lot of time they could have spent together in self doubt and fear. So what? They had each other now and the rest of their lives to make up for lost time. As soon as they left Derry, he was going to divorce Myra and move in with Richie. There was nothing that was going to keep them apart now.

“I’m happy for you two,” Bill assured Richie and Eddie after accepting that he truly was the least informed Loser there. “And we’re super proud of you guys for telling everyone,” Beverly added warmly. Richie looked around at his smiling friends and felt his face heat up. “Thank you,” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears. “Thank you all, so much.” He let out a puff of air as Ben rushed forward and grabbed him and Eddie in a bear hug.

A second later, everyone else joined in. Stan felt his heart swell with warmth and pride as he clung onto his friends, his own fears temporarily forgotten. And even when they finally released each other and the reality of the situation came back to Stan, he found he wasn’t really as scared as he was before. 

It had been so powerful and encouraging to feel his friends loving and supporting him earlier, but it was just as wonderful now to be on the other side of it. Stan smiled as he watched Eddie gently wipe the tears away from Richie’s eyes and clean his glasses before placing them back on his face, adjusting some sort of strap Stan could only assume was meant to hold the glasses in place. Both halves of the pair just looked so happy right now and Stan was so proud to be a part of this moment.

And this time, as the nine Losers started back up on their journey, they didn’t fall into silence. As their jokes and laughter rang out through the streets of Derry, Stan grew even more certain of his token and even more confident in his ability to successfully obtain it. There was no clown in the world that could ever destroy what the nine of them had found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the long wait! I promise I really do have something in mind for Stan’s token and that he’ll get it next chapter. 
> 
> I feel like we’re entering the final stage of the story now (well, besides the epilogue that’s probably going to be way longer than an epilogue should be since there’s so much I want to touch on about their lives post fic). Maybe it should just be a sequel? Idk. I’ll figure it out after I actually finish this story. 
> 
> Anyways, things are finally heading towards the final battle and the moment of truth. It’s time to see if things have finally changed enough to keep all nine Losers alive!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ Only when he spun around, nobody was there. Stan looked around frantically, but the room was now empty. “Guys?” he called out, but got no response. In fact, he heard nothing at all. He hadn’t really been aware of the creaks of wood and scuttles of bugs before, but with them all suddenly gone, the world felt frighteningly silent.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️: this is another Stan-centric chapter and there are some references to his “bath” in here. MORE IMPORTANTLY, THERE ARE SOME GRAPIC IMAGES IN THIS CHAPTER IN REGARDS TO THE BATH. To be clear, none of it is real, but it’s still a bit disturbing.
> 
> I’m going to write that section in italics so that you can read around it if it makes you uncomfortable. Basically you just need to know that it’s Stan’s encounter with Pennywise.

There were no surprises waiting for the Losers as the entered the synagogue. The building seemed deserted, but it was left unlocked “in order to let people come in and pray,” as Stan explained it. The group easily made their way through the sanctuary and into the office section in the back.

“Are you sure your Torah is still here?” Bill asked, sounding a little worried. A lot of thought had gone into Stan’s token pick and it would be a problem if he couldn’t find it.

“I’m sure,” Stan assured him. He made his way to the back of the hallway, stopping once he got to the last room. He waited until the rest of the Losers had gathered around him before attempting to open the door.

“I’m not surprised this door is locked,” he admitted. “I don’t suppose any of you know how to pick locks?” All eyes turned to Beverly, but she only shook her head. “I was a latchkey kid, remember? I didn’t need to break in and out of my house since I could just use my key. It was only a matter of not getting caught.” A few eyes then turned to Eddie, but he shook his head as well. “I never tried to break out. I only ever let Richie break in.”

The group exchanged a few more glances, but nobody seemed to jump on it. They turned hopefully to Don and Adrain, but they only shook their heads as well. Ben looked nervously around at his friends. They weren’t really stuck on a door we’re they?

“Can I try?” Ben asked softly, surprising even himself. “You know how to pick locks?” Beverly asked in surprise. “No,” Ben shook his head, “but I have an idea.”

Noticing the determination in Ben’s eyes, Beverly handed a bobby-pin over to him. Taking a deep breath, Ben knelt down into front of the door and pictured it opening. Earlier, Beverly had willed a door open and now Ben planned to do the same thing. He refused to believe that a simple door was going to stand between them and victory.

Sure enough, a moment later, the door swung open. “Holy shit,” Richie muttered, apparently unconcerned by the holy building he was standing in. “How the fuck did you do that?” he asked in awe. Beverly looked over to her boyfriend and smiled when she saw the shock, joy, and relief on his face. “What can I say?” she replied, deciding to let Ben choose how much he wanted to explain. “Apparently Ben is just that good!”

—————

After opening the door, the Losers shared a minute to praise Ben before remembering where they were and what they were there for. “You’ve got this,” Bill gently assured Stan as the stepped into the room. Stan nodded silently, hoping Bill was right.

“My Torah was a gift from my father,” Stan explained as he made his way to the back of the room. “It was fine at first, but after my disaster of a Bar Mitzvah, I really didn’t want anything to do with it anymore. Only, I was too religious to destroy the book, so instead I hid it up here,” Stan concluded, pointing to the top of a book shelf. “This part was too high for my dad to reach, so I figured he wouldn’t ever think to look here. Do two of you mind giving me a boost now?”

A moment later, Stan found himself balanced on the shoulders of Richie and Mile while he felt around on top of the shelf. He stiffened up for a moment as he fingers brushed against the dusty leather of a book’s spine, but quickly brushed his fears aside and grabbed the book.

Once he was back on the ground, Stan took a deep breath then opened the book, staring for just a moment at the note his father had left for him on the first page. He thought back to his rocky relationship with his father and his religion for a moment before shaking his head and flipping away from that page. He continued to flip through the pages until he found something stuck between them.

Stan felt his breath catch in his throat for a moment as he gazed at the smiling faces starring back at him. He had forgotten that he was using the photo strip as a bookmark when he hid the book and was too afraid to go back for it after he realized. His father had not been pleased by the book’s disappearance either, but in comparison to Stan’s speech, it wasn’t that big of a deal and he didn’t really want to change that.

Stan’s heart ached for a moment as he recalled the day he and his friends took the pictures. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and he supposed that in a way, it really was. A lot had happened between them and now, but amazingly some things had never changed. Stan smiled softly to himself before turning around to share his recollections with his friends.

Only when he spun around, nobody was there. Stan looked around frantically, but the room was now empty. “Guys?” he called out, but got no response. In fact, he heard nothing at all. He hadn’t really been aware of the creaks of wood and scuttles of bugs before, but with them all suddenly gone, the world felt frighteningly silent.

“Guys!” he called out once more, his voice growing a little frantic. The last thing he wanted to be right now was alone. He strained his ears to listen for his friends, but the sound he heard wasn’t voices.

At first it was barely audible, just a distant trickle, but the volume grew louder until it was a deafening roar. Stan gulped and balled his hands up into fists to stop them from shaking. He felt the photo strip dig painfully into his palm, but he didn’t loosen his grip. The pain was the only reminder he still had that there were people out there who cared about him.

The noise seemed to have plateaued in volume by this point and Stan could tell that it was coming from the hallway. Every instinct told him not to walk towards it, but there was no other exit from the room and Stan feared that the longer he waited, the more frightened he would become. It was better to just go out and face whatever was waiting for him.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Stan stepped out of the relative safety of the storage room and back into the hallway. The second he was outside, the door slammed shut behind him, leaving Stan in total darkness.

“Guys?” Stan desperately called out once more, not holding out much hope for an answer. Sure enough, the only response he got was the sound of the water. He could feel it now, the humidity in the room rising from the water’s temperature. It would almost feel warm and welcoming if it wasn’t for the faint metallic scent tainting the fresh, clear one of the water.

Stan screwed just eyes shut for a moment to adjust to the darkness, but when he opened them, a bathtub appeared before him, illuminated only by a single, flickering bulb hanging from the ceiling.

_Stan watched nauseously as water poured into the tub, causing it to overflow. As each drop slipped off the side, it suddenly turned red and sticky, leaving bloody streaks as they ran down the tub and puddled to the ground. From somewhere in the distance, Stan heard Patty’s voice cry out in fear and agony. Then the body appeared._

_It was staring at him, but not really. The eyes were open, but glossed over, devoid of life. It looked sickly and pale, but there was no denying that Stan was staring back at his own body, the one that haunted him in his nightmares. His eyes wandered down to the wrists momentarily, but found that they seemed to be intact._

_Just then something warm and wet dripped down Stan’s own arm. He stumbled back in horror as he saw the blood pouring out of his own body. He looked desperately around once more for his friends, but found himself completely alone._

_“Little Stanley Uris, all alone,” a cruel voice cackled. “So weak. So afraid. Why are you here Stanley? You shouldn’t be here, Stanley!” the voice hissed. Stan winced in fright. “You don’t belong here, Stanley,” the voice continued. “You shouldn’t be here!” it snarled once more._

_Stan trembled weakly in fear. This was so much worse than anything he could have ever imagined. “You’re weak, cowardly, pathetic!” It hissed at him. “You’re a coward who wanted to run away. You should have run away!”_

_Stan watched silently as It appeared before him, his fangs beared. “A coward like you is meant to be dead,” it snarled angrily. The body in the bathtub suddenly sat up to stare at Stan. It raised its wrists to let blood flow fourth and pour all over the ground._

_Taking an involuntary step backwards, Stan stumbled to the ground, dropping the photo strip in the process. He sat there for a minute, unable to move. Both It and the thing in the bathtub laughed at him. “Poor, poor, weak, pathetic Stanley!” It cackled._

_Stan felt his eyes well up with tears. Was he really going to die here all alone? Was this what he got for believing in himself? He tried to sit up, but felt his trembling arms give way and collapsed back down to the ground. Unable to face It again, he looked away in shame, only for his eyes to fall across the photo strip, now soaked in blood and water._

_Reaching out, he grabbed it once more, doing his best to wipe the blood away. He stared sadly at the smiling faces staring back at him. “I’m sorry, guys,” he apologized miserably. The faces all smiled back at him, unaware of his plight. Stan held the picture close to his chest and closed his eyes. If he was really about to die, he didn’t want to be alone. _

_“Just like last time,” Stan thought bitterly. Last time he was separated from the group as well. He had felt so weak and afraid back then. But he hadn’t really been alone, had he? Sure, he was separated, but the others had been trying to find him. They hadn’t actually abandoned him last time and surely they hadn’t this time either. They said they wouldn’t and Stan believed them. They just didn’t know how to find him. _

“I’m right here,” Stan said softly. He spoke to the picture since he didn’t know which way to actually face. “I’m right here guys. I made it back to Derry. I found my token. I’m right here and I’m not giving up, but I can’t do it alone. I know you’re out there somewhere, looking for me. Well, I’m right here. I’m right here!”

Stan was screaming now. Tears ran down his cheeks and snot from his nose, but he kept shouting. “I’m right here! I’m here! I’m here and I’m not running away! I made it to Derry! I found my token! I didn’t take the bath! I’m here and I’m not running away! You hear that, you fucking clown? I’m not running away!”

Slowly but surely, Stan forced himself back up onto his feet. “I’m not running away,” he said again, his voice quiet once more. Only, instead of fear, his voice was now filled with anger. “You said that I should be dead? Well, maybe I should be. But I’m not. I’m not and I’m not about to die. I’m not afraid of you anymore,” he snarled. “You’re just a stupid clown and you don’t know anything about me or my friends.”

Just then a bright flash cause Stan to stumble backwards, blinded. Around him, thousands of tiny black shards dissolved into the air. For a second, Stan felt himself falling backwards once more, but then a hand reached out to catch him. “Careful there, Staniel,” he heard Richie say from behind him. Stan felt his face break into a grin. “Always with those stupid nicknames,” Stan complained, not sounding the least bit annoyed.

Stan then turned to face It. The clown no longer looked frightening. He seemed smaller than he had before; weaker too. He almost seemed frightened. _The bathtub and the creature inside it disappeared in another burst of shards and the blood on the ground dried up and disappeared._ Behind him, Stan could sense his friends getting into fighting stances. He was pretty sure that they were far more intimidating that It was now.

“You shouldn’t be here!” It hissed again. “Yet here I am,” Stan replied before shaking his head and laughing. No,” he amended. “Here we are. All of us. You said I shouldn’t be here, but I am. You said I should be alone, but I’m not. You said I should be dead, but I’m very much alive! You don’t know what you’re talking about. You might think that you have control here, but you don’t. You’re not strong enough to stop us, not strong enough to keep us apart! You’re just a weak, pathetic, clown!”

With every word, It shrank backwards a little. He stared back at the Losers, his face splintering and cracking, shards dissolving into the air just like the rest of his illusions. He stared at them for a moment, his lip trembling slightly, before suddenly vanishing into thin air.

The nine Losers jumped at his disappearance, but quickly regained their composure when they realized he was gone. “Did we...” Don began, but Mike shook his head. “It’s still alive right now. It’s weakened for sure, but we can only kill it in its lair.” “Fuck,” Adrian swore, his brief hopes of victory dashed.

Meanwhile, Richie had wrapped his arms tightly around Stan and pulled him close. “Hey,” he said gently. “You’re okay,” he assured Stan. “You’re going to be okay.” Stan sniffled and buried his face into Richie’s chest. “I know,” he agreed, smiling as he felt Eddie’s arms also wrap tightly around him, followed immediately by Bill’s, Ben’s, and Beverly’s. A moment later, Mike, Don, and Adrian joined in as well.

“I’m okay,” Stan assured his friends. “That was horrifying,” he admitted, “but I’m not afraid anymore.” Stan looked down at his wrists. They were smooth and uninjured. He thought back to the pitiful sounds of Patty’s screams It had imitated. “I’ll be home soon,” he silently swore to his wife.

“You really are such a brave person,” Eddie said, admiration evident in his voice. “You are too,” Stan assured him. Richie simply squeezed the pair tighter. Things were so different now than they had been before. Last time they had enter Neilbolt filled with fear and sadness, but this time there was determination and hope. It was already weakened and afraid and they were braver than ever before.

“Well, it’s a little bloody and wet, but I have my token now,” Stan said after a minute. He held the photo strip up and smiled at it. “You guys were always the most important thing in the world to me and I can’t think of anything more symbolic than this.” The others simply pulled Stan back into a group hug.

“All seven tokens are now accounted for,” Mike said after they released each other once more. “It is currently weak and afraid,” Bill added solemnly. “And we are together and strong,” Eddie concluded firmly. “So then let’s kill this fucking clown?” Richie asked, his voice filled with both fear and hope. Stan nodded in agreement. “Let’s kill this fucking clown,” he replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked that chapter. I know it’s pretty dark and possibly a little disturbing, but I hope that I did an okay job conveying the horror without pushing things too far.
> 
> On a much lighter note, now that the holidays are over, I should be updating more regularly now. Although we’re getting close to the end now!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Eddie tried to remember the last time had done something even remotely risky. Sure, he often ignored Myra’s warnings and demands, but he hardly considered going out in a drizzle or occasionally staying up a few hours late to really be taking a risk. Every act of “courage” or “strength” he had displayed over the past twenty seven years felt so meaningless and silly to him now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning - threat of panic attack, discussion of the loser’s fears, and a total spoiler than I’ll mark in the end notes in case you want to find out what it is.
> 
> I’m so sorry this took forever to post. Life got crazy with work and some of my friends hit some rough patches and I just couldn’t find the time to sit down and actually write. Plus I really didn’t want to post this chapter without having at least most of the next chapter written (which I do). You’ll see why at the end, but I promise I won’t disappear again like that at the end of this chapter too!

As the nine Losers stopped in front of the old house on Neilbot Street, Eddie felt his heart tighten in fear. He had half expected the house to have collapsed in on itself after another twenty seven years of disuse, yet against all odds, the house loomed on.

Well, not all odds, Eddie thought miserably to himself. If this was just some random abandoned house, there was no way in hell Eddie would even consider getting near it. Yet now that there was something evil living inside, Eddie found himself preparing to enter.

The thought was so absurd that Eddie almost let out a laugh. Who would have thought that small, sickly Eddie Kaspbrak would even consider doing something so insanely dangerous? Who from his prior life would ever believe that he was about to take such a stupid risk?

Eddie tried to remember the last time had done something even remotely risky. Sure, he often ignored Myra’s warnings and demands, but he hardly considered going out in a drizzle or occasionally staying up a few hours late to really be taking a risk. Every act of “courage” or “strength” he had displayed over the past twenty seven years felt so meaningless and silly to him now. 

A part of Eddie couldn’t help but wonder if this was a mistake. What could someone like him really do to help anyone right now? He was afraid of dying from eating out for god’s sake! What help could he possibly provide to the others now?

Eddie still wasn’t sure, but he knew that Richie believed in him. It was a mantra that Eddie found himself constantly repeating. Richie looked beyond the hypochondria and paranoia and claimed he saw something, or rather yet, someone incredible behind them.

So despite all his misgivings and fear, Eddie refused to back down now. “Is everyone ready?” he asked, pushing himself forward. Over his shoulder, Eddie could see the fear dancing in Richie’s eyes, but the other man simply nodded in agreement. “As ready as I’ll ever be,” Stan replied first, the others responding in suit a moment later.

“Is there anything else we should know before entering?” Don asked, his eyes darting between Mike and Richie. Mike frowned for a second and looked over to Richie, but Richie just gave a small shake of his head. 

“Not yet,” Richie seemed to be saying, so Mike shook his head as well. “I’ll explain the ritual as we go. As long as everyone sticks together and follows my lead, we should be fine. It is already weak and afraid, so we just need to finish the job at this point.”

The others nodded, steadying their gazes and straightening the shoulders. “Then what are we waiting for?” Bill asked, his voice crisp and clear. “As Richie so elegantly put it, let’s kill this fucking clown!”

—————

The house was just as musty and disgusting as Richie remembered, but there was a stillness there that was different from before. The house still creaked and groaned with age, but it was a weirdly natural sound.

Normally, Richie would have been calmed by the purely mundane aura surrounding the house, but right now it put him even more on edge. Last time he was in here, It had tried to attack them. Doors had swung shut on them and things had popped out.

Yet now the nine Losers made their way through the rooms and into the kitchen effortlessly. The refrigerator which once held monsters straight out of Richie’s nightmares now sat there unremarkably. There was no rattling or shaking, and the Losers silently passed it by.

Richie’s eyes lingered on the appliance as they group left the kitchen, but the door never swung open and no monsters popped out. 

“That was surprisingly easy,” Richie heard Beverly muse as they all gathered around the well. “We did weaken It earlier,” Ben pointed out hopefully. “Last time we weakened it, It took almost a month to act again. Maybe it’s not strong enough to fight back right now!”

Ben looked hopefully at his friends, but nobody seemed entirely convinced. “It might also just be conserving its strength,” Bill pointed out. Mike nodded grimly. He knew from Richie’s story that It had attacked them last time and it was a little unsettling to know that had changed.

“Be careful, everyone,” Mike warned as he dropped the rope down into the well. “Once we enter into the sewer, follow my lead and stay together.” The group nodded in silent agreement before one by one descending into the gray water below. 

—————

As soon as Eddie’s feet hit the sewer floor, he could feel his chest tighten in fear once more. Instinctively, he reached for his inhaler, but stopped as his fingers brushed against the cool plastic. It was just a placebo; it wasn’t real, he reminded himself. What Eddie was feeling in his chest wasn’t some sort of a disease, it was just a normal amount of fear.

“You ‘retti’ Spaghetti?” Richie asked softly, taking Eddie’s hand into his own. And despite the fear still welled up in his stomach, Eddie let out a little laugh. “Only you could make such stupid jokes in a situation like this,” he lamented affectionately. Eddie then gave Richie’s hand a comforting squeeze. 

For just a moment, Eddie thought back to the time that he broke his arm and Richie held his face and demanded that he look at him. At the time, Eddie hadn’t really understood what Richie was doing, but he did now. 

For the entire time they had known each other, Richie had done whatever he could to support and protect Eddie. It hadn’t matter how afraid he was himself, Eddie had always been his top priority. Hearing Richie’s stupid jokes now, Eddie knew that part of Richie hadn’t changed one bit. 

But that didn’t mean that things had to be the same as they were before. As he rubbed his thumb gently across the back of Richie’s hand, Eddie smiled softly when he saw Richie’s shoulders relax just a little. He smile widened just a little bit broader when he saw Richie’s glasses carefully secured against his face.

Richie’s side was always going to be a safe place for Eddie to stand, but now Eddie was determined to make his side a safe place for Richie in return. From now on, no matter what risks or dangers the other man faced, Eddie was determined to be there for him. 

—————

“We’re almost there,” Mike informed his friends once they had all descended the well. “Lead the way, Mike,” Stan encouraged gently. Mike nodded and turned to move forward, but Bill caught his hand before he could.

“To stay together,” Bill explained to Mike’s questioning look. The others nodded and locked hands with each other. 

The nine Losers silently waded their way through the gray water, refusing to let go of each other, even as the water reached chest level. Richie tensed up in anticipation as they reached the place where Beverly was attacked last time, but once again, nothing popped out at them.

The group stopped when the reached the final door down into It’s lair. “This is it,” Mike told them seriously. “Is everyone ready?” he asked. Eddie forced himself to take a few deep breaths. The fear was bubbling up inside him once more, but he forced it aside. 

“You’ve got this,” Richie reminded him affectionately. “I know,” Eddie agreed, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Richie’s cheek. “You’ve got this too,” he then whispered into Richie’s ear.

Despite the fear and nausea swirling around inside him, Richie allowed himself a moment of pure pride. Last time they were at this point, Eddie had freaked out and claimed he wasn’t brave enough to face It, but now he knew that wasn’t true. 

“We’re as ready as we’ll ever be,” Bill confirmed after looking around at his friends. Mike nodded silently, then began to chant before yanking the door up suddenly and causing his friends to jump back in fright.

“It’s down here,” Mike said grimly, giving his injured shoulder a little roll. He wasn’t thrilled at the climb it appeared they would be making, but Richie wasn’t objecting, so he knew this was the right way.

Once they finally reached the bottom of the hole and crawled their way through a couple of tunnels, the nine Losers found themselves in a vast cavern. “So all of this has been under Derry for, like, forever?” Eddie asked in awe. “Not forever,” Mike replied absently. “Just a few billion years.” 

Mike took a second to just take it all in. This was really it, wasn’t it? This was where all his hard work and research had lead them. With a deep breath, Mike carefully removed the artifact from his bag and placed it on the ground.

“It can only be attacked in its true form,” he informed the others. “The ritual forces It to take that form,” Mike explained carefully. “But not kill it?” Bill asked, catching on to Mike’s careful word choice. “No,” Mike replied hesitantly. 

Mike didn’t really want It to know that he had a plan beyond the ritual, but he didn’t want to lie to his friends about this. From what Richie has told him of their previous encounter, it was clear that he had lied all the way until the end. Although Richie hadn’t gone into detail there, Mike knew the others must have been mad. First he lured them into Derry, then he lied to them. Even though Mike understood why he had done it, he still didn’t blame them form being upset and he wasn’t about to make that mistake again.

“The ritual shows us how to call It to us and bring It into our battlefield, but the ritual alone cannot defeat It,” Mike explained solemnly. “Then how are we supposed to win?” Eddie asked, his voice pitching upwards as he struggled to fight off a panic attack. “We trust that Mike has a plan,” Richie replied, taking Eddie’s hand.

Another flash of fear flickered over Eddie’s face, but he forced it away. “Okay,” he agreed solemnly. “I trust you, Mike. What do we need to do next?” Mike smiled gratefully at Eddie. “Earlier today I asked each of you to find a token of an important memory,” he began.

As Mike spoke, he began to pour lighter fluid into the artifact. “I told you earlier that these tokens were required as part of a sacrifice, but that’s not entirely true,” Mike continued, striking a match and throwing it on top of the lighter fluid.

As the fire began to blaze, Mike considered his words carefully. “Well, it’s not exactly true, but it’s not untrue either. I mean, we still do need to burn the tokens, but they are more just physical manifestations. Here, let me show you.”

Mike then carefully pulled a rock out of his pocket and held it up. “I want you guys to look closely and tell me what you see,” he urged, holding the rock up for the others to examine. “There’s blood on it,” Bill noticed after a moment of squinting in the dim light. 

“The rock war,” Beverly then realized. “Exactly,” Mike replied. “That was the day when these bonds were forged. It was what I planned on using for my token for the past eight years, ever since I first learned about this ritual. It was what I planned on using for my token last night when I went to bed, but it’s not my token now.”

Mike then placed the rock back into his pocket and pulled out a much smaller object. “Earlier today I found a new token,” Mike informed his friends. “Much like the rock, it’s covered in Bower’s blood, but this this blood isn’t twenty seven years old.”

Mike stared down at the object in his hand. “The rock is a symbol of our bond’s forging, but this bullet is a symbol of our bond’s strength. It’s proof that I am not alone and never will be. So today I release my burden of loneliness and sacrifice it to the ritual,” Mike concluded, dropping the bullet into the fire.

He then looked up at his friends. “Today, each of you fought a battle with your burdens and fears and walked away stronger for it. Whatever you let go of in that battle is what you must burn away now.”

For a moment nobody spoke as they let Mike’s words wash over them. It was a lot to take in, even for Richie who knew it was coming. Yet the more each Loser thought about it, the more they realized Mike was right.

“This is the b-boat I built with G-G-eorgie,” Bill spoke up first, his stutter temporarily flaring back up. “We b-built it together on the day he d-died. The day I-I...” Bill took a deep breath and composed himself. “I’ve spent the past twenty seven years blaming myself for Georgie’s death. I thought that it was my fault because I didn’t want to play out in the rain that day and pretended to be sick. I’ve carried that guilt with me all this time, but I release that now,” Bill concluded. He then dropped the boat into the fire as well, letting out a deep breath as Mike squeezed his shoulder.

“All my life I struggled to be the perfect person I never was,” Stan spoke up next. “I wanted so hard to be grown up and strong, but you guys taught me that it was okay to just be myself. So today I release myself from those pointless standards,” he concluded, taking one last affectionate look at the blood soaked photo strip before dropping into the fire.

“Originally I actually grabbed a literal token from the Capital Theater’s arcade,” Richie said with a snort. “Stupid, I know, but that arcade held some very painful memories for me,” he confessed, holding the token up to examine it. Beside him, Eddie squeezed his hand in reassurance.

“I’ve spent so much of my life living in fear of who I was and what would happen if anyone else realized the truth about me. I honestly never thought I would tell anyone my deepest secret, yet you all already know now. So here is my real token, a chip from the kissing bridge. Right above where I carved mine and Eds’ initials all those years ago. I’m ready to let my fears and shame go,” Richie declared, dropping his token into the fire as well.

“I guess since we seem to be going around in a circle, it’s my turn now,” Eddie said as he examined his aspirator. “Now that I know this aspirator is just a placebo, it should be easy to cast it away, yet the fear of being without my medication is hard to release.” Eddie chuckled a little sadly and held the aspirator up to his mouth. 

“This stupid piece of plastic was a constant crutch, something I could cling to and hide behind when I was too afraid to consider the alternative. But I’m done being afraid and I’m done hiding away from my true self.”

Instead of taking a puff from his aspirator, Eddie placed a gentle kiss against the plastic then tossed it into the fire along with the other items. “I’m not sickly and I’m not weak,” he declared. “I’m just me.” He then leaned in and placed a kiss to Richie’s lips as well. 

Out of respect for his friends, Ben waited until Richie and Eddie pulled apart from their kiss to hold his item up. “It’s a page from my yearbook,” he explained. “I only got one signature on it, but that signature meant so much to me that I carried it around in my wallet for twenty seven years.”

Ben let out a soft chuckle. “I spent twenty seven years chasing after a whisper of a memory of belong and feeling loved. I was so scared that I would never find it, yet here I am now. What could I possibly need an old piece of paper for when I have all of you?” Ben asked with a squeeze to Beverly’s hand. “I’m letting go of my desperate chase. There’s no need now that I’ve found everything that I was looking for.”

Beverly sniffled as Ben dropped her signature into the fire. “I didn’t hold onto this, but I wish I had,” she said softly, holding up the postcard. “If I had, then maybe I would have realized much sooner just how wrong I was. I never believed that I was worthy of love, worthy of respect and value, but I know now that I am. And just like Ben, I don’t need a poem to tell me. Honestly, I don’t need anyone to tell me, but I’ll never object to those words.”

As Beverly dropped the postcard into the fire, she and Ben leaned in for their own kiss. “I guess that leaves everyone but us,” Don said, pointing to himself and Adrian. “We weren’t a part of the original seven, so our tokens are probably unnecessary, but we brought something anyways.” 

Adrian carefully pulled a hat out of his bag and held it out toward the fire. “Don and I were never really sure where we did and didn’t belong in this world, but I know for a fact that we belong here with with you. So here’s the hat I wore the day Don and I both lost and gained a home. May it burn away our uncertainty along with it.”

As the final item dropped into the fire, the nine Losers reached out and clasped each other’s hands. “Close your eyes and repeat after me,” Mike instructed as the fire suddenly flickered out. “Turn light into dark,” he said as he scrunched his eyes shut. “Turn light into dark,” the others repeated. “Again,” Mike commanded.

“Turn light into dark. Turn light into dark. Turn light into dark.” The nine losers repeated it over and over again. “Turn light into dark! Turn light into dark!” As they spoke, a large red balloon began to expand. “This is it,” Richie thought you himself. The final battle was about to begin. 

Any second now, the balloon would pop and It would appear in its true form. Then all that was left was to bully it down. They could do this. They had to be able to do this. They had come so far, made so much progress, how could they fail now?

————

The sound of the balloon popping and the sudden darkness descending the cave left Eddie staggering in confusion. Somewhere in the panic of it all, his hand had slipped out of Richie’s, leaving it cold and empty. Eddie knew that the ritual was only supposed to summon It, but something just didn’t seem quite right.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, Eddie saw the rest of his friends standing around him and almost let out a sigh of relief. Almost, but not quite.

Before Eddie could let his guard down, he noticed something move out of the corner of his eye. Fear instantly shot through Eddie’s body, but this time it wasn’t for himself. All the potential risks washed through his mind for a moment, but Eddie tuned them out. He already knew what the worst possible outcome would be and he refused to let it occur.

—————

Despite his mental preparation, the sound of the balloon popping still left Richie deaf and disoriented for a moment. He stumbled backwards in an attempt to gain his bearings, but barely managed to gain them before he felt a pair of arms roughly shove him to the ground.

Richie let out an “oof” as collided with the cave floor. He opened his mouth to demand to know what the fuck just happened, but the words died on his lips. “Rich-ie,” he heard a weak voice croak from above him. “Eddie,” Richie whimpered, staring up in horror at the love of his life. 

The sounds of his friends’ screams and the sound of It’s cackles all faded into the background as Richie stared up in shock. “Eddie?” he whimpered again, frozen in horror and grief. “I’m sorry,” Eddie replied.

Then with a flick of It’s claw, Eddie flew across the cavern and landed with a thud. “You foolish humans should have stayed away,” It hissed at the Losers. “Did you really think that you could defeat me? I am the eater of worlds! And as for your pathetic strength together,” It paused for a moment to cackle, “Let’s see how strong you are with one of your own gone!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning continued - severe injury
> 
> So, I’m super sorry for disappearing and I’m super sorry for this chapter ending. The next one is more or less written and just needs beta and some minor adjustments to make sure it flows correctly in the story. Basically it will be up in a matter of days, not weeks. And in case you’re worried, just remember that my tags haven’t changed!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ From all around him, Richie heard his friends screaming and It speaking, but he didn’t register a word of it. “Not again,” he though desperately to himself, rushing over to where Eddie had fallen. He refused to let this happen again.”

From all around him, Richie heard his friends screaming and It speaking, but he didn’t register a word of it. “Not again,” he though desperately to himself, rushing over to where Eddie had fallen. He refused to let this happen again.

Richie collapsed to his knees beside Eddie and stripped his jacket off to press it against the smaller man’s chest. The hole was a little smaller this time, but it was also in a different place. Last time Eddie has been impaled right around his rib cage, but now the hole appeared to be right through his heart.

“Just hold tight,” Richie instructed as he pressed his jacket against Eddie. “We’ll get your out of here soon,” he promised, his voice cracking. There was no way that he was going to leave Eddie behind this go round.

“Rich-ie,” Eddie croaked softly. “Yes Eds?” Richie replied desperately. “What is it?” “Your glasses stayed on,” Eddie murmured happily. Richie blinked in confusion for a second, then felt the tears welling up behind his eyes finally start to break free.

“Yeah,” Richie replied gently. “Yeah, they did. Because you helped protect me earlier. And now you’ve protected me again,” he sobbed. “You don’t need to keep doing that,” Richie protested miserably.

“Wanted to,” Eddie replied, a sad smile on his face. “Sorry I’m selfish,” he then apologized. “What?” Richie asked in confusion. “How are you selfish? You just got hurt saving me! How is tha-“ “Can’t keep my promise. Wanted to stay with you. I’m so-”

Eddie’s words cut out as he broke into a coughing fit. “Eds!” Richie cried out in concern. Eddie smiled sadly at Richie once more. “Love it when you call me Eds,” he rasped out. “Love yo...”

Try as he might, Eddie couldn’t quite finish his sentence. As the world went dark around him, his eyes lingered just a moment more on Richie’s face. For just a second, it seemed to morph back into that of a scared thirteen year old, pleading for Eddie to look at him and not at It. 

“Some things never change,” Eddie thought sadly as Richie’s face faded into darkness. At least this this time each knew how the other felt. Eddie just wished they had gotten a little more time to enjoy it.

—————

At some point the others must have run over to join him, but Richie barely registered their presence. As the warm body in his arms grew limp, a sense of despair sank deep over Richie. “I love you too,” he sobbed miserably, praying that Eddie could hear his parting words. This exchange was certainly better than their last one, but it didn’t really make it any less heartbreaking.

Richie jerked in surprise as he felt something grab his shoulder. His head shot up, his eyes wide in fear, but he quickly sank back into his sobs when he realized it was only Mike. 

Tears were streaming down Mike’s cheeks as well, but he knew the heartbreaking pain he currently felt was nothing compared to what Richie was experiencing. “Rich,” he said softly. Richie only shook his head.

From the other side of the cavern, It cackled, reminding the Losers of its presence. “Guys,” Bill prompted miserably. “We need to-“ “You need to make him small,” Richie snapped bitterly. “You just need to make that fucker know he’s just a worthless piece of shit!” Richie let out a broken sob.

“Richie’s right,” Mike agreed. “We need to show that clown that we’re stronger than it is.” The Losers all looked around at each other then down at Richie and Eddie. “Okay,” Beverly agreed, hugging herself a little to stop the shaking. She let out a sniffle when Ben wrapped his arms tightly around her.

“Lead the way, Mike,” Ben prompted. Mike looked over at Richie to seek his guidance, but quickly realized that the other man was in no shape to offer advice. Squaring his shoulders, Mike took a deep breath then began to shout.

“Do you really think that hurting us destroys our bonds?” he demanded. “Do you honestly know so little about human emotions that you didn’t understand how this would make us feel?” Sobs threatened to distort Mike’s words, but he forced them back.

“You didn’t frighten us by hurting Eddie; you enraged us! For a creature whose specialty is scaring people, you’re certainly shit at it!” Mike screamed, letting a rare swear word escape his lips. “Absolute shit!” he reiterated, letting out a broken laugh. 

“That’s right!” Stan agreed. “I’ve faced you down once before and I’ll do it again!” he snarled at the clown. “You just made the worst mistake of your life!”

“I am the eater of worlds!” It screamed back at the losers. “I will pick you off one by one until you all end up like that little weakling!”

“He’s not weak!” Richie screamed, still clutching Eddie’s body. “That’s right!” Bill agreed. “There is nothing weak about Eddie. Unlike you!” he added. “You’re just a weak and pathetic clown!” Mike shouted, encouraging the others to continue.

“That’s right!” Beverly agreed. “Your scare tactics stopped working on us already, so you resorted to the element of surprise. But now that’s gone too. You have nothing anymore, you stupid clown! My father and husband were each scarier than you and I already won against both of them. You stand no chance now!”

“The tactics you used on us as kids won’t work anymore,” Ben added. “We’ve grown and changed since then. Unlike you. You’ve been alive for centuries and you haven’t grown one bit. No wonder you’re so desperate now. You’re the weakest one here!”

“I am the eater of worlds!” It cried out again, it’s voice far less powerful than before. “No!” Mike countered. “You’re nothing but a clown. A sad, weak, pathetic clown that prays on children because that is all it’s capable of doing.”

“And you’re not even good at it!” Adrian added. “I heard you wanted to make a snack out of me earlier, yet here I am! You stupid, pathetic clown couldn’t even do that!”

As the Losers shouted at It, the monster shrank backwards, its massive limbs diminishing with each word. “Clown!” “Weak!” “Pathetic!” Each word left It reeling just a little bit more.

Seeing the monster cower in fear, Mike stepped forward. “You think that you understand humans simply because you understand what it is that they fear. But fear is only a small motivating factor for us and today you are going to lose to something much stronger. Something you understand nothing about. Love.”

It stared back at Mike, its body deflated into a fetus with a swollen head. The creature whimpered and sobbed as Mike reached out towards it, but he felt no sympathy. “Deep down, a heart like yours is filled with nothing but fear,” Mike spoke solemnly, his voice softer now.

Mike forced himself not to wince as his hand dug through the melted flesh of It’s body until he came to the heart. Mike squeezed as he wrapped his fingers around the organ, but the muscle stayed intact.

It let out another round of whimpers and sobs as Mike held the heart out to his friends. “It’s almost over now,” he told them. Ben, Stan, Beverly, and Bill all stepped forward to grab onto the heart. Don started to, but stopped when he saw Adrian staring unmovingly.

“Addy?” Don asked softly. Adrian’s eyes shifted from the heart over to Richie and Eddie then back again. He had grown rather found of the pair over the past couple days and he would be damned if he let the two of them suffer like this without even trying.

“Guys?” Mike prompted, raising the heart up a little bit. “I have an idea,” Adrian replied softly. “You’re probably not going to like it, but please trust me,” he begged the others. 

Adrian knew that he and Don didn’t have the same history as the others did with each other, but Mike said that they were part of the club and he was going to hold them to that now.

“What is it?” Mike asked, glancing quickly back over at It’s shriveled form. The monster didn’t look like it was regaining any strength, but Mike didn’t like how long they were dragging this out. Instead of answering, Adrian simply stepped forward and took the heart out of Mike’s hand.

The Losers started to protest, but Don quickly stops them. “Please,” he asked desperately. “You guys are our family now. Please trust us.” Mike nodded and relented. “Go ahead,” he told Adrian who simply nodded gratefully and began to walk towards Richie and Eddie.

As Adrian approached with the heart, Richie shrank backwards, pulling Eddie in closer to him. He didn’t understand what Adrian was doing and he didn’t know why he wasn’t just crushing the heart. Adrian knew how this was supposed to end, so why wasn’t he doing it?

“Please,” Adrian pleaded as he knelt down beside Richie. Richie only clutched Eddie tighter. “From the moment we first met, I’ve been rooting for you,” Adrian told him. “You helped save my life and let me going on living by Don’s side. Please let me return the favor now,” he begged.

Richie looked at the young man’s desperate eyes and then over at Don’s reassuring ones. The others all looked nervous, but Don and Adrian seemed so sure. 

It occurred to Richie just how much that pair understood him. Sure, they were out and proud, and sure, neither was currently dead, but they understood nonetheless. This couple who had faced prejudice, almost certain death, and almost certain loss, understood exactly what Richie was feeling. 

So Richie reluctantly released Eddie and sat back to let Adrian in. The younger man leaned in forward and carefully placed the heart into the hole in Eddie’s chest.

“It never put this heart to good use,” Adrian stated, more to reassure himself than to offer any sort of explanation. “The only things It ever used it for were fear and hate, but the world has enough of those already.” Adrian took a deep breath and gently released the heart.

“But Eddie was so full of love. So, so full of love that his heart couldn’t contain it all. So surely this is only fair.” Adrian sat back and waited with baited breath. This had to work. It just had to. Adrian refused to believe differently.

Only nothing seemed to change. The heart continued to beat as it sat in Eddie’s chest, but it remained unattached and simply bumped around and caused more blood to splatter out of the wound. As the eight Losers looked on, they remained completely silent, afraid that even the slightest noise would destroy any remaining hope.

Eventually Adrian’s eyes began to fill with tears. He had been so sure that this would work. He had refused to believe otherwise because he thought if he believed, it had to work. But if it didn’t work, had he just given everyone false hope? He turned to apologize to Richie, but saw the other man staring lovingly down at Eddie’s face.

“I know this is sort of gross, Eds,” he whispered, leaning in to speak the words directly into Eddie’s ear. “I’m sure there are tons of studies about the risks of heart transplants and the importance of a sterile environment, but you’re stronger than all that. You always have been. You didn’t need the hospital when you were a kid and you don’t need it now.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean,” Richie heard a raspy voice groan. “You can’t be stronger than the dangers of unclean heart surgery, dumbass. You can survive it, but it’s not something you’re stronger than.”

“Eds?” Richie squeaked out. He looked down at the hole in Eddie’s body and gasped in delight as he saw the wound and It’s heart knitting themselves together. Eddie let out a noise that Richie couldn’t distinguish between a laugh and a sob. “I think that your pep talk worked,” Eddie groaned in disbelief. “I actually think that your stupid pep talk about heart surgery worked.”

He let out another laugh-sob. “God damn it, Richie. I can’t believe that’s what healed me.” With a final laugh-sob, Eddie launched himself into Richie’s arms and clung on tightly. “You idiot,” he sobbed into Richie’s chest. “You absolute moron.”

“That’s my line,” Richie protested. “You’re the idiot who decided to risk his life to save mine!” “You’re the idiot who I fell in love with!” Eddie countered. “Of course I’m going to save you!” “Yeah, well I fell in love with you, so of course I’m going to save you too!” Richie snapped back.

Then the two of them began to laugh. They laughed and cried and kissed each other until they both had to stop to catch their breaths. “I thought I lost you forever,” Richie admitted miserably. “I thought I was never going to see you again. And then I got a second chance, but I thought I blew that too. I really thought I lost you!”

“I’m right here,” Eddie assured Richie. “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. Never again, Rich. I guess I’m going to be able to keep my promise after all,” he said with a smile.

“And I guess maybe I can keep mine too,” Richie realized suddenly. “What promise was that?” Eddie asked, confused. “I’ll explain later,” Richie promised, pulling Eddie back into his chest. “Once we’re out of here, I’ll explain everything,” he promised.

“Okay,” Eddie replied, smiling up at Richie. He could yell at Richie for whatever idiotic promise he made later; for now he was just happy that later was something he and Richie could once again look forward to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify why Eddie thanked Richie and not Adrian, he doesn’t really understand yet what just happened or whose heart is in his body. We’ll get there, but that can happen later.
> 
> But see! I told you I wasn’t going to betray you like that! Not 19 chapters in!
> 
> And speaking of chapters, there’s only a few more now! Maybe 3 or so? I’m also not sure yet if I want my last chapter to be an epilogue or if I want the epilogue to be a sequel fic, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. At any rate, this long journey is close to the end now! Thanks for s mucking with it!


End file.
